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His eyes grew wide. “Why would you think that?”
“Youwere behind it. What, was it some guilt trip for what you did to me? Or was it to keep some sort of connection to Calvin?”
“Andthat’swhy I didn’t tell you, because you would turn it into something I did because ofhimwhen I just honestly wanted to talk to you.”
“That’s how life is for me! Especially back then! Once people meet Calvin, I’m second best.”
“You do know that’s the poweryougive him, right? He’s not special. He’s not a god on earth. He’s a jealous man who can’t handle the word no.”
“I don’t give him power, he takes it.”
“Then why bring him up?”
“You hate him! You always have, and you kissed me to get back at him.”
“Italkedto you to get back at him. The kiss only happened because I liked you.”
“Then you should have worded it very differently.”
“Yes, I should have. I should have done many things differently. But I was just a man meeting the first woman I liked, and I didn’t know what to do. Ineverknow what to do around you because I’m too busy staring at you and wondering why the hell you’re talking to me to have any logic, Amy. I’m tongue-tied around you, and you think it’s all for a man I couldn’t care less about.”
“But you get mad whenever I mention him.”
“I’m mad because he laid a hand on you. And I don’t care if you were kids. He’s a bully and he hurt my wife. That’s more important than any of the petty things he did tome.”
“But you said you were marrying me to piss off Calvin.”
“I said it before and I’ll say it again. That was the only reason you would believe. I could get down on my knees and tell you that every single second I’m with you feels like the best kind of torture, and you wouldn’t hear it because you truly don’t think it’s true. And thatkillsme that he and your family twisted your reality so bad that you don’t see what’s right in front of you.”
“Then what is my reality? You’re telling me I can’t see, but you’ve never told me what’s really going on! You have my attention. Nowuseit.”
“Fine. I pretended to be someone else named V because I would take anything I could get. I told myself I was fine with only messaging you, and then I wasn’t. You walked into my business and I needed more. You need a husband? I’ll be that. You need income? Take all of mine. I’ve lived off of messages and stolen moments, but then I hadyou. And I can’t go back now. I want to be with you asme, and I would do anything to get you to see that.”
I blinked. I didn’t want to be obtuse. If he said I was missing something, then I would listen. But I didn’tunderstand.
“When did you decide that I was worth all of this?”
“When I saw you smile for the first time. The first night I actually talked to you.”
“The firstnight?Nine years ago?”
“Yes. Even then. From the first time I talked to you, you put a spell on me that I’ve never been able to shake. You think your brother steals everyone from you, but one look and you had me. You stole me from revenge. From anger. Fromhim. And ever since, I waited for the nights I could read the book you were reading. Or talk to you through messages. And now I live for the things I get when we’ve finished dinner. Or sitting on the couch.”
“That’swhat you were busy with? Reading the same books I was?”
“Yes. And when I read them, I could imagine it was you.”
“So then you got more, and youlikedit?”
“Am I really the only person who sees that?”
I wanted to open my mouth and screamyes. But it wasn’t true.
Riley said she would choose me. Lily too.
“O-okay, maybe you have me there. But I still don’t get it.”
“What don’t you get?”