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She taps my nose with her index finger. “He knows you.”
He doesn’t know me, though. And the thought of meeting him soon sends a jolt of nerves to my stomach. As excited as I am at feeling the shifting movement in Callie’s stomach, there’s panic I’m struggling to keep at bay… you know, the one kind where I’m about to freak the fuck out for not having a damn clue as to how to raise a kid.
I don’t say anything to Callie, aside from smiling, because anything I say won’t be what she wants to hear. She wants me to see the significance in the moment, but all I see is fear.
CHAPTER20
LONG CHANGE
CALLIE
In the second period, the goaltenders change ends, meaning that the players' bench is closer to the offensive zone rather than the defensive zone. The “long change” can be a factor when a tired line is stuck in the defensive zone and cannot come off due to the increased distance to the bench.
Something has definitely changedin Leo. I’m sure a lot of it has to do with them being knocked out of the playoffs by the Canucks. Or it’s because I’m freaking huge, and he’s worried I’m going to get so big I can’t fit through the door.
I’m kidding.
I’ve known Leo for years, and I’ve come to realize it’s the offseason blues that usually set in, but it’s more this time. He’s terrified of becoming a dad. Only problem, it’s pushing us apart and he doesn’t even see it.
“What do you think is wrong with him?” Ami asks, chewing her orange chicken as we sit on my bed. Um, okay, Leo’s bed eating takeout. Don’t tell him, by the way. He’ll freak out if he knows I’m eating on his bed. Anyways, Ami lays her other hand on my stomach, trying to feel the baby moving.
“I’m not sure. Maybe he’s not ready to be a dad. When I showed him the picture of the ultrasound a couple months back, he stared at it for like twenty minutes. His dad was awful, and his mom was no peach, so I think it’s all just nerves.”
“This baby never kicks for me.” Ami frowns, removing her hand. “I’m sure Leo will come around to it. I mean, he has to. He’s having a little baby boy!”
“I know he’s scared, but I am too. I have no business being a mom. A year ago I was contemplating dating a pharmaceutical rep for free drugs. I’m obviously not ready to be a mother. And Leo… doesn’t want to be a dad. It’s all scary for me to think about. When he felt the baby kick for the first time, he had this deer-in-headlights look immediately after, realizing what it was, like he was about to run as far away from us as he could.”
“Don’t overreact. He’ll never leave you.” I see what she’s doing. She’s trying to keep me calm, and I understand why because lately, I’m quick to jump to conclusions. I blame the hormones.
I shift on the bed, reaching for my root beer, and notice the burning between my legs. I waxed the other day, and it didn’t go well. “I don’t know what’s come over me, but I’m obsessed with making sure it’s all nice and clean down there,” I admit, feeling like I can talk to her about this sort of thing. “I burned the epic shit out of my pussy trying to wax it. Now it looks some kind of pubic poxes.”
“Pubic poxes?” Ami blinks and drops her hand from my stomach since Shrimp has decided he’s not kicking for her. “What?”
And then, as casually as I can, I say, “I bleached my asshole, too.”
She’s all ears after that. “Does that work because I’m very curious about that?”
“Frankly, I think it looks great.”
“Have you told Leo?”
“He saw a while back.” I wink at her, taking a bite of my rice. “He seemed to think it was cool.”
She looks down at the rice. “So everything is still good on the lovin’ part?”
“Well, yeah.” I set the container on my lap, twirling my chopsticks in one hand. “We still have sex. And it’s good. It’s just his mind is elsewhere. I think part of his problem is Walker was traded back to the Blackhawks the other day.”
Her eyes widen. “Really?”
“Yep. They announced it today.”
“Wow.” Ami doesn’t understand a lot about the politics involved in hockey, but even she knows what a trade like this means. “He’s a center, right?”
“Yep. He was the starting center until he left, and they brought on Leo. Now he’s back.”
“Why would they do that if they already have Leo?”
“If I know my dad, it’s because he wants to put pressure on Leo. More than likely, he’s gonna keep him on the first line and have Walker play the second line, but it’s not any easier on Leo knowing that. He’s nervous because it’s his job on the line.”