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Despite everything Callie and I had talked about, she still plans to go back to work next week. I’m so confused. I thought we’d agreed she’d quit, travel with me, and we’d hire a nanny to help with Caleb. Or maybe that’s my plan. Of course, that’s my selfish plan, but I’m still going to work hard at convincing her it’s the most logical choice.
Convincing her of that isn’t going to be easy. But I have to try.
“Why don’t you go out for a night?” I suggest when she’s still acting sad around the condo. As soon as I say those words, I realize what I said. No way did I want her out, at night, with men, and without me. “Or, you know, stay in, and I’ll watch Caleb while you take a hot bath.”
“Oh, a bath?” She laughs, taking his bottle from the rack near the sink and reaching for the formula. Callie had every intention of breastfeeding Caleb the entire time, but Caleb decided he didn’t want her tits anymore. Or he got tired of me telling him to share and just took one for the team and gave up. Either way, we’re giving him formula now. After putting two scoops in the bottle, she puts the cap on and shakes it vigorously. The motions of her hand make me hard.
I’m so fucking horny these days, it’s ridiculous. I don’t think I’ve jacked off in the shower this much since my teenage years.
Did you know you have to wait six weeks after the baby was born, even for a C-section?
Bullshit if you ask me.
Why? Because he’s likeeightweeks old, and we still haven’t had sex yet. That’s two extra weeks for what? To tease me? Feels like it. But… she’s in pain, and I’m not about to hurt her. So I wait. And take a lot of damn showers.
“Are you sure you want to watch him while I take a bath?”
“Sure. Can’t be that hard.”
She raises her brow. “You have no idea what it’s like taking care of him.” She hands the hungry monster over to me with a bottle and pads down the hall.
“It can’t be that hard,” I yell after her, instantly regretting my words.
What a fucking idiot, huh?
I look down at Caleb and then rock him back and forth. “Go easy on me, buddy. I’m not good at this.”
Callie returns, naked by the way, and holds up her cell phone. “I’m gonna take a shower while you feed him, but I’m having a girls’ night and staying with Bethany on Saturday. Overnight.”
Overnight?
Oh, God…
I play the best poker face and run my hand down my jaw, and wink at her. “I got this.”
I don’t have this. Not even a little.
“You’ll watch Caleb?” She’s holding back laughter.
Why is that funny?
I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing when it comes to Caleb. I can change his diaper and feed him, rock him when he’s crying, but other than that, he just cries. And bullies me into thinking I’m a horrible person. Okay, maybe not the last part, but still, I’m convinced he hates me.
Callie leaves. I stare at her bare ass until it’s out of sight and then glance down at Caleb, who’s screaming at the top of his lungs since I’m holding the bottle at bay. “Easy, dude. Relax.”
I run the nipple of the bottle over his bottom lip, and he practically tries to swallow the entire bottle in an attempt to get it. Growling and sucking, he drinks his dinner, his eyes rolling back like it’s the best thing ever.
Sighing, I watch him eat and think about how he’s lucky. He gets what he wants by crying. Maybe I can throw myself on the ground in front of Callie, cry, and she’ll fuck me? It works like that, doesn’t it?
* * *
Saturday night arrives.The night I’m set to watch Caleb.
Alone.
We sit there on the couch, him in that little donut-looking pillow he loves so much and me staring at him when Callie leaves, wondering what the fuck I’m going to do.
I even contemplate calling Judy. Surely she’d come over, but then I remember she lives in Pittsburgh. Isn’t like she can stop by at the drop of a hat.