Page 22
Story: Delayed Offsides
“How’s yours?” Mase counters.
“Fuck you.”
Coach walks in, clipboard in hand, straight-faced and looking for a win. We all shut up and listen. “All right, boys.”
“How’d you get him out?” I stand and pull my jersey on while Coach is distracted with the roster for tonight.
“Offered him fifty bucks and told him to keep the robe.” Ryan rolls his eyes. “I liked that one too.”
“It’s so hard to find a good robe these days. I found one made in Turkey, and it’s the fuckin’ shit, man. So soft.”
“Orting!” Coach yells in my direction. “Shut the fuck up.”
Turned out though, Ryan’s so worked up over that damn guy in his room, he’s never played better. He’s an animal out there.
“We need to get Rosco’s number,” I tell Mase when Ryan is in the penalty box for the third time tonight.
Mase nods but doesn’t say much. He’s having his own ornery night with a defenseman for the Ducks who keeps roughing him up and slamming him into the boards one too many times.
Mase is explosive when he gets into tight corners and pushed against the boards. He’s our man when you need to get the puck out of there.
Me? I have stick skills and puck control. I’m not afraid to be creative with the puck and shove it in their face. You want fancy, I can do that too. I can show you skill and style all night long.
As shift after shift changes and the game winds down, play gets fast and aggressive, leaving no time for me to think about anything else. Which is a good thing because it’s been three days, and guess who still hasn’t answered any of my calls?
Yep. Callie. We head home tomorrow, and you better believe I’m gonna be showing up at her damn apartment, demanding answers.
CHAPTER6
FIVE HOLE
LEO
The potential scoring areas around a goal are numbered from one to four, starting in the lower right corner and proceeding clockwise at each corner of the net. The “5 hole” is between the goalie’s legs.
Game 42 – Dallas Stars
United Center
When we return to Chicago,we have early morning practice and a game. I’m groggy as I enter my bathroom, my mind on Callie and whether I have enough time to swing by her apartment and demand answers. And then I think, if I really want her attention, why not send her a picture?
It’s been four days now and nothing. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Okay, maybe I’m not fully awake, but I take a Sharpie into the bathroom with me when I shower. Callie loves dirty text messages, so I think, what better way to get her attention than to send one?
So I do.
Holding the cap to the Sharpie in my mouth, I take the marker in my left hand and hold my morning wood with the right and write,Suck me, Callie, along the shaft.
After putting the lid back on the Sharpie, I hold my phone up and snap a picture.
Since my screen is cracked, I can’t exactly see what it looks like, but the angle is a good one. Makes me look bigger.
Squinting to see her name on my contacts, I send her the picture.
“See if she ignores that,” I say to myself, setting the phone down and reaching over to turn the water on in my shower.
When the water is hot enough, I step in, get the Sharpie off my dick and then continue washing. I think about taking care of the need but ignore it. For once. I’ve gotten regular pussy for the last three years. Anytime I want it, it’s available. So now imagine my dick’s surprise when all of a sudden that stops and focuses on one girl. He’s probably all confused. And angry with me.
“Fuck you.”
Coach walks in, clipboard in hand, straight-faced and looking for a win. We all shut up and listen. “All right, boys.”
“How’d you get him out?” I stand and pull my jersey on while Coach is distracted with the roster for tonight.
“Offered him fifty bucks and told him to keep the robe.” Ryan rolls his eyes. “I liked that one too.”
“It’s so hard to find a good robe these days. I found one made in Turkey, and it’s the fuckin’ shit, man. So soft.”
“Orting!” Coach yells in my direction. “Shut the fuck up.”
Turned out though, Ryan’s so worked up over that damn guy in his room, he’s never played better. He’s an animal out there.
“We need to get Rosco’s number,” I tell Mase when Ryan is in the penalty box for the third time tonight.
Mase nods but doesn’t say much. He’s having his own ornery night with a defenseman for the Ducks who keeps roughing him up and slamming him into the boards one too many times.
Mase is explosive when he gets into tight corners and pushed against the boards. He’s our man when you need to get the puck out of there.
Me? I have stick skills and puck control. I’m not afraid to be creative with the puck and shove it in their face. You want fancy, I can do that too. I can show you skill and style all night long.
As shift after shift changes and the game winds down, play gets fast and aggressive, leaving no time for me to think about anything else. Which is a good thing because it’s been three days, and guess who still hasn’t answered any of my calls?
Yep. Callie. We head home tomorrow, and you better believe I’m gonna be showing up at her damn apartment, demanding answers.
CHAPTER6
FIVE HOLE
LEO
The potential scoring areas around a goal are numbered from one to four, starting in the lower right corner and proceeding clockwise at each corner of the net. The “5 hole” is between the goalie’s legs.
Game 42 – Dallas Stars
United Center
When we return to Chicago,we have early morning practice and a game. I’m groggy as I enter my bathroom, my mind on Callie and whether I have enough time to swing by her apartment and demand answers. And then I think, if I really want her attention, why not send her a picture?
It’s been four days now and nothing. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Okay, maybe I’m not fully awake, but I take a Sharpie into the bathroom with me when I shower. Callie loves dirty text messages, so I think, what better way to get her attention than to send one?
So I do.
Holding the cap to the Sharpie in my mouth, I take the marker in my left hand and hold my morning wood with the right and write,Suck me, Callie, along the shaft.
After putting the lid back on the Sharpie, I hold my phone up and snap a picture.
Since my screen is cracked, I can’t exactly see what it looks like, but the angle is a good one. Makes me look bigger.
Squinting to see her name on my contacts, I send her the picture.
“See if she ignores that,” I say to myself, setting the phone down and reaching over to turn the water on in my shower.
When the water is hot enough, I step in, get the Sharpie off my dick and then continue washing. I think about taking care of the need but ignore it. For once. I’ve gotten regular pussy for the last three years. Anytime I want it, it’s available. So now imagine my dick’s surprise when all of a sudden that stops and focuses on one girl. He’s probably all confused. And angry with me.
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