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In a strange way, Dave attacking Ami brought Evan into her life.
Dave being abusive to Callie made her see that she loved me the entire time. Okay, maybe not, but it brought us closer together. Or maybe further apart and then closer? Fuck, I don’t know. What I do know is that she finally let me in and realized that even though we might be the worst matched couple, we created something so beautiful.
And then I show him the one of the ring on Callie’s finger. “AndImade this happen.”
It feels good to say the words. I did make that happen.
I leave it at that. I don’t say anything more to him. Don’t wait for his reaction.
Nothing.
Just leave.
I sit in my car for the longest time, staring out the windshield, watching the rain bead on the windshield.
Callie calls me as I’m sitting in my car, asking where I am and if I can pick up dinner on my way home. She sounds so happy, laughing as I hear Caleb's belly laugh in the background.
She’s recently quit her job and seems happier than ever being home with him.
“I just have to make a stop, and then I’ll be home, okay?”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” And then she pauses, sighing, “I love you.”
God, it feels so fucking good to hear her say those words to me. “I love you too, baby. Be home soon.”
I smile, hang up, and then make my way to St. Gabriel Catholic Cemetery, where Ryland is buried. I couldn’t attend Ryland’s funeral because I was on a six-game road trip on the day.
After stopping by the store and getting some lilies, I make the slow walk to her grave. The pain hits me immediately as I set the flowers down on her headstone. It isn’t even the fact that I’m here. It’s seeing her name etched in stone that finalizes it. Her fight is over.
Reaching forward, I can’t help the tears that fall as I trace her name on her headstone and it hurts more that it’s engraved. There’s a devastating finality to it I don’t want to accept.
Drawing in a deep breath, I sit down in the frosted grass, the cool winter’s day chilling me to the bone. “Hey, princess.” My voice cracks as I bring my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs. “Your mama… she misses you. I miss you. Those damn princess books just aren’t the same without you.”
I smile when the wind ceases. It’s as if the world stops spinning for a moment, and I stare at the lilies on her grave.
“I wish I could have said goodbye to you… but maybe that would have been too hard.” I brush my sleeve over my eyes. “I can never imagine what your parents went through every day. The pain they felt knowing that any day your fight would be over. I watch Caleb sleep at night now, and I wonder if anything ever happened to him, could I be as strong as your parents were? As strong as you were?” And then I smile through tears when the wind blows slightly, those flowers on her headstone touching my fingers, as if that’s her reaching out to me, giving me comfort in a time when I want to comfort her. “I guess you never know your own strength, do you?”
I must sit here for another half hour before I know I need to get back to Callie. As I stand, I give the grave one last look, wanting to remember her precious face in some way. Smiling, my memory does me justice as I think of that sweet little girl with those bright blue eyes and a grin that lit up the darkness surrounding her.
The wind blows again, and I close my eyes, letting the memory burn bright. “Goodbye, princess.”
As I walk back to my car, I think about how much my life has changed in one year and how it’s nothing like I thought it would be.
One of the best hockey players in the world, Wayne Gretzky, once said, “A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.”
I played where the puck was.
He also once said you miss 100 percent of the shots youdon’ttake.
This is one shot I’m glad I took.