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Amiand I head to the arena about five that night with Caleb. It isn’t the first time I’ve been back to the United Center since the night I was mugged, but there’s still a nagging feeling I can’t shake.
Am I afraid?
Well, I certainly don’t walk alone here anymore. And never will again.
I still have nightmares. Ami still has nightmares. Time is the only thing that’s going to heal that. Being mad—or feeling sorry for myself—isn’t what I want, nor will it help me.
The game goes by in an absolute blur. Maybe because taking a baby to a game is a lot of work. We sit in the box seats with the other wives and girlfriends because it was too hard to control the environment around us. I keep a close eye on Leo throughout the game, wondering if he’s going to break down with Ryland passing away today, but he seems surprisingly focused.
When the game ends, Leo motions for me to come down on the ice. So I go down to the locker rooms, where he says he wants to take Caleb on the ice.
Leo scored his first hat trick of the year and wants to share the moment with him.
I nearly cry. Nearly. I’m getting a little better with the tears.
As I watch Leo skating on the ice with his son, fans throw hats on the ice, all screaming and celebrating the win, but Leo’s eyes never drift from his son.
When he comes back around, he hands Caleb back to me and then smiles, the thrill of victory present in his eyes and face.
I’m about to take Caleb back with me when all the players start coming by, but he stops me, tugging on my hand.
“Where do you feel at home?” he asks, watching my eyes and then my lips.
“Here,” I say, knowing exactly what he means. Our relationship started here at this place. Where I first laid eyes on this hotshot center with a goofy grin and bright blue eyes. This place, it’s home to both of us.
Taking my face in his hands, he smiles. “I love you, Callie,” Leo finally says, smiling around the words. “I should have said it sooner, but it feels right to say it now.” His eyes drop to Caleb. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you. I’ve never said it before. To anyone. I wasn’t sure I even understood what it meant.”
My heart aches for him. To never love someone is tragic. I know I’ve only ever loved a handful of people, but to feel like you’ve never loved someone is heartbreaking.
“Say something,” he whispers, a desperation in his tone, begging me for anything. “How can I make you see that I’m all in? I’m offside and am waiting for you to bring me back.”
My eyes close, and my chest heaves as tears slip down my cheeks, wanting to answer him as honestly as I can. I draw in a deep breath and stare at him. “I’ve loved you longer than I’ve liked you.”
He laughs, his smile wide. “That’s exactly the answer I was hoping for.”
He knew I wouldn’t go all mushy on him. Telling him that I loved him longer than I’ve liked him means more. Because I fell early on, way before I knew we were best friends.
* * *
Back at the condo,Evan and Ami offer to take Caleb for the night so we can have some alone time. Which is definitely needed.
Leo is sitting on the bed, naked, his back pressed to the headboard when I enter the room wearing some of my old lacy outfits that I can finally squeeze back into now that I’ve lost the baby weight.
“Fuck yeah!” Leo watches me carefully as I walk slowly toward him with a pair of laces in my hand. “Get over here. I haven’t had any stimulation down there in weeks. I’m dying.” I laugh, and he frowns. “I’m serious. He’s very confused by me, and it’s not fair. He did nothing wrong.” His eyes drop to his lap. “I’m sorry, bud.”
“Leo?”
He looks up. “Yeah?”
I let out a bursting laugh. I can’t even say anything.
“I’m sorry.” His hand brushes along the edge of my ass. “I just fucking miss you so much.”
“Let’s play a game.”
He leans in closer and lowers his voice, bright eyes fixed on mine. “What game?”
“Lace and laces.”