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Ryland’s eyes light up when she sees me, the puffiness in her face slightly better than the last time I saw her. Only she doesn’t say anything. At least not at first.
“How’s our girl doin’?” I ask her mom, Jillian.
Jillian looks at me, then the flowers, and finally at Ryland, who notices me. “She’s having a good day today. Excited to see you.”
I watch Ryland, her smile widening as I step closer, her tiny arms wrapping around a red bear sitting next to her. “Le!”
“Hey, Ry.” I sit next to her bed, reaching for her hand. “How’s my princess doin’?”
She says nothing but starts pushing books at me to read and then patting the bed, eager for me to get in with her like I always do. She even tosses the bear on the floor to make room for me.
Her dad snorts, entering the room and smiling at me. “Goes to show you who she loves more,” Heath notes, a certain amount of jealousy in his tone.
I laugh and reach into my coat pocket before I sit down with Ryland. “Here.” I hand him three tickets to our home game against the Penguins next Sunday.
His eyes light up. “Okay, I forgive you for stealing my daughter’s heart.”
He most certainly doesn’t, but tickets to the game help. Heath is a huge Penguins fan, but since I’ve been visiting his daughter, he’s starting to come around to the idea of liking the Blackhawks.
Picking up the bag, I pull out the three Blackhawks jerseys and hand one to Heath, one to Jillian, and one to Ryland. Ryland stares at hers, smiling, and point to the number eight on the back. “Le!”
Heath laughs and smiles at Jillian. “Figures he’d make us support his ass.”
“Hey.” I hold up my palms as I get into bed with Ryland. “Free tickets means you support me.”
“Fair enough,” he grumbles with a smile, winking at Jillian.
I watch their interaction. The stress on their faces, that their kid is here, fighting for her life. I can’t imagine the two of them have been out of this hospital in months. In fact, I know they haven’t. “Can she escape this prison for a night?” I ask, kissing the top of Ryland’s little bald head once she’s wormed herself into my arms.
Jillian’s lashes flutter. I can see it on her face. The worry. The nerves of having her baby around screaming fans and germs is probably terrifying for her. “We might be able to take her for a little while.”
“Well, how about this? Take her for the opening ceremonies, then we’ll have her doctors there with her in the locker room while you guys enjoy the game in a private suite. Could that work?”
“I… I couldn’t afford to have her doctor come with us, Leo.” Jillian’s eyes drop to the jersey in her hand, clutching it tightly. She has no idea, but I’ve already arranged this and paid for anything extra that needs to be done.
“You let me worry about that. This is for you guys.”
Ryland pushes the book in my face, begging me to read to her. For the next hour, I read. Book after book.
Heath and Jillian step out for a while, a nice break for them, while I enjoy being number one to this girl in my arms. Part of me wonders if it would be like this when Callie has the baby. I have no problem being here for Ryland, but what about one of my own?
Jillian returns to the room, coffee in hand, watching Ryland and me as we readTinkerbellfor the third time. “Where’s your head today?”
I glance up at her, surprised by her question. Jillian might be a mother consumed by her daughter’s illness and fighting a battle she knows will soon be over, and she’ll have to say goodbye, but she’s perceptive of others around her. Maybe because she constantly has to look to others for support, she knows what to say to ease their minds.
“A girl,” I finally say, leaving it at that with a coy smile and a wink, hiding the pressure in my chest. My problems mean nothing here. The girl in my arms does, her mother, her father, and everyone around me in this building who fight for one more day, their problems do. Mine are nothing compared to this. It’s definitely a punch of reality I need.
“And…?” Jillian takes a step toward me. Our eyes meet, and there’s a subtle shake to her head, letting me know I’m not getting away without confessing.
I try to wrap my mind around the words I want to say, struggling with my emotion. “I got a girl pregnant and, well, I never wanted to be a dad. Said some stupid shi—” I pause, smile at Ryland, and adjust. “Crap… and now I gotta get her back.”
She blinks. Rapidly. Maybe my confession shocks her. Probably because a guy like me, someone who religiously visits children in the hospital, doesn’t want to be a dad. “You’re great with Ry. Why wouldn’t you want to be a dad?”
“These aren’t my kids,” I explain. “I love these kids here, but I’m not responsible for them. The fact I will be responsible for one, a hand in deciding what’s best for them and what’s not, well, that scares me.”
Jillian smiles and touches my shoulder. “And how are you going to get this girl back?”
I groan, my head falling back slightly. “I have no clue.”