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He raises his head to look at me. There’s no humor in his eyes. What surprises me is his hand slams on the table, rattling the water glass and silverware. I’ve never seen Leo display anger toward me. Ever. “That’snotwhat I was referring to,” he snaps. His voice is harsh with an emotion I can’t identify. “You know, if you want to keep shutting me out, that’s fine. At least give me a say in this shit. I was talking about what our options are. As in, me and you.”
“I didn’t know you wanted options,” I snap back, humiliated I’ve pissed him off for misunderstanding.
His head sinks to the table with a groan. After a minute, he looks up. “I’m sorry,” he says abruptly, shaking his head. He exhales slowly, running his hands through his hair and then tugging at his tie. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I just… I don’t know what to do, Callie. I’m terrified, and the idea of you and me not together scares me more than being a dad.” He watches me, waiting on my reaction. “I can’t… I can’t read you. You’re like a closed book about this.”
“I don’t need you to do this,” I tell him, allowing him to keep my gaze longer than he has any right to. “I can do it on my own.”
We stare at each other. His eyes flash with regret. “I know that. I know that anything you want to do, you will.” He swallows, seeming nervous. “What I mean is, I want to be a part of it. I never wanted to be a dad. I still don’t, but that doesn’t change anything. I still want to be here for you through all this and see where it goes,” he says. “And I wantyou.”
He wants me? I know the Leo who’s full of himself, the one who determines the flow of a game by making plays. I know the Leo who’s wide open and dangerous on the ice. But I don’t know this guy. This one who sweep checks me with words.
I want you.He does? Well, of course I knew that, but how much of wanting me has to do with sex and not a relationship?
“Do you think this can work?”
“Fuck if I know.” He laughs. “You mean so much to me,” he says, not missing a beat and wrapping his hand around mine that’s holding my fork. “I don’t know what I have to do to convince you of that.”
I don’t either. I don’t even know what I want to hear from him. Maybe nothing.
I have absolutely no idea where this is going, but his sincerity weakens me. Before this unplanned pregnancy, before all the other shit that got in the way, this guy across from me was my best friend. He cares about me, and I constantly push him away out of fear. I need to give him a chance and see what he does with it. He deserves that much after how I treated him in Cabo.
Dinner is quiet. We don’t say much because Leo is bombarded with autographs, and the last thing I want anyone knowing is that I’m pregnant with his baby. He doesn’t need that kind of attention.
After dinner, we sit inside his car outside my apartment, neither of us talking but neither making an attempt to part ways.
Leo turns to me, his hand on my thigh, respectably low. “Listen… I’m sorry. I don’t know if that means anything to you, but I am, and I hope that you believe me.”
His words wash over me, and I think about them for a moment.
“I know you are,” I say, reaching for the door handle. “And I’m sorry I shut you out.” I pause and lean back in the seat, sighing.
“Where does this leave us?”
“I don’t know. I think I just need some time to figure it all out.”
He nods, searching my eyes. “I can give you time.”
“Okay. Thank you… for time and dinner.”
Leaning in, he presses a soft kiss to my cheek, but no words follow.
* * *
It seemsI want to get everything over with because when it comes to telling everyone I’m pregnant and no longer their drinking buddy, I do it Monday morning at work. I tell my boss, Bethany. She’s so happy she cries. I have no idea why, but she has known me since I was fourteen and said she could already see a difference in me. As if being pregnant had suddenly matured me.
I think she’s talking about my breasts because they are huge! They won’t even fit in my button-down shirts anymore.
I can tell Bethany wants to ask how, or I guess why now. It’s known by many that I sleep around.
“Who’s the father?”
“Leo.” I wait, fold two pairs of panties and then look over at her.
Her bright green eyes widen. “Thathockey player? No fucking way.”
“Yes,thathockey player.” When Bethany saidthathockey player, she’s referring to the time Leo and I had sex in the dressing room after hours, and I almost lost my job because we were so loud that a security guard heard us and called it in, saying someone was being injured. Looked pretty funny when Leo was the one with the fat lip.
“So…” Her brow rises, but she never stops folding the panties. “Are you dating him now?”