Page 60 of Winter Nights at the Bay Bookshop

LARS

I couldn’t stop pacing up and down in the lounge.

I’d never been this nervous about anything in my whole life and desperately wanted it to go well.

Best-case scenario was that we’d had a misunderstanding which we could laugh about and put behind us.

Worst-case scenario was… I shuddered, barely able to acknowledge it.

I was so annoyed with myself. I knew Lily’s insecurities from Ewan and Wes abandoning her and it had never entered my head to reassure her that I’d never do that.

Whitsborough Bay was my home and always would be for so many reasons.

I wasn’t sure whether the there’s no place like home gifting on my Paperback Pixie feed would be enough to convince her on its own but hopefully what I’d done with the house would.

I paused my pacing and turned in a slow circle around the room, taking in the results of my purchasing frenzy after work last night. Thank goodness the garden centre stayed open until late.

Car headlights momentarily dazzled me. She was here. Deep breath, stay calm! The doorbell rang – a proper old-fashioned deep ding-dong – and I took another deep breath before opening it.

My heart leapt at the sight of Lily standing on my doorstep, a large paper bag in her hand.

‘The Paperback Pixie, I presume?’ she said, her smile hesitant as though unsure as to whether a joke was an appropriate ice-breaker. It absolutely was.

‘Also answers to Christmas Elf or Lars the Arse.’

Her eyes widened. ‘Cassie told you that?’

‘It might have come up this week and it’s true. I am an arse. I’m so sorry for… Helvítis bjáni , I haven’t even invited you in and it’s freezing.’

‘I have no idea what those words mean, but thank you.’

I hadn’t even registered that I’d spoken in Icelandic, but it figured – something I’d always done when I was nervous.

‘Damn fool or idiot,’ I explained. ‘Me, not you. Come through.’

I led her into the lounge. A good host would have offered a drink but I couldn’t prolong it by faffing with the kettle. I needed to know if I was dumped or not.

‘You bought a tree!’ she exclaimed, crossing the room. ‘A real one!’

‘I forgot to buy baubles but I did get a lot of lights and someone once told me you can never have enough lights.’

She turned and smiled at me. ‘Vintage gold and red. It’s beautiful.’

‘I, erm… I don’t have a sofa but I bought some garden furniture.’

Lily had evidently been so transfixed on the tree that she’d missed the dark grey metal bistro set and she did a double-take. ‘You’ve made a very seasonal purchase, I see.’

‘Perfect for winter nights spent inside,’ I said, smiling at her. ‘There weren’t any on display in the garden centre but the manager took pity on me and retrieved me a sale set from storage. The seat pads are surprisingly comfy.’

We sat down and I couldn’t wait any longer. ‘I know you overheard me talking to Flo about travelling and I’m so sorry I hadn’t…’ I tailed off as Lily raised her hand to stop me.

‘I’m so sorry for interrupting but can I say something first? You don’t owe me an apology. I owe you one. I’ve treated you so badly and you did nothing to deserve it. Yes, I overheard what you said and I had a meltdown…’

What she shared with me was a combination of what I’d worked out with some blanks filled in by Cassie, but neither of us had thought about Justin disappearing on his travels and staying away when Shelby was pregnant. With all of that circling around Lily’s head, no wonder she’d needed some space.

‘I did think it would have to be the end for us,’ she said and my heart sank.

‘I couldn’t bear the thought of yet another man leaving me and never returning but then I thought about who that man was and I know it would be different this time.

This is you. Us. We’re meant to be together and I want to support you with your dreams as I know you want to support me with mine, so if you want to spend time in Iceland with your family and if you want to travel round the Nordic region, you absolutely should do that.

I want you to do that and I’ll be right here waiting.

If I haven’t already screwed things up so badly that you don’t want me to be here waiting. ’

Sharing all that with me had clearly taken it out of Lily. Tears had pooled in her eyes and she looked in desperate need of a hug. I could help with that as I needed one myself. Taking her hands in mine, I eased her to her feet and into my arms.

‘You haven’t screwed anything up,’ I reassured her.

We stood in silence for a while, just holding each other, but there was more to say and I reluctantly released her to sit down. I pulled my chair closer to hers and took hold of her hands again.

‘I never met Ewan and Wes but it’s obvious to me they were idiots because they walked away from you.

Thing is, they’re also my heroes as their loss was my gain and I’ve no intention of ever letting you go.

I’d never choose being somewhere else over you.

Why would I want the world when you’re already my world?

Yes, I want to spend some time in Iceland and I do have big plans to explore the Nordic countries but I don’t want to do those things on my own. I want to do them with you.’

‘You do?’

‘Of course! I know you’ve got the shop and I completely understand how important that is to you because I love it too, so I’m thinking we do our exploring during our holidays – a week here, a week there.

It’s not all about what I want either. We haven’t talked about the places you dream of seeing so we need to include those too.

My heritage is part-Icelandic and, yes, I do want to explore that but my roots are firmly in Whitsborough Bay.

Why else would I have bought this house? ’

‘It’s a beautiful house. Could do with some indoor furniture and a spot of colour but the tree’s a great start.’

‘I got it for you.’

‘The tree or the house?’ She winked at me, indicating that she was joking, but I took my chance.

‘Both, although I didn’t know that about the house at the time.

I nearly didn’t buy it because it was a family home and I didn’t have a partner or a family, but now I do.

I told myself I was dragging my heels on the design because I have zero creativity but I realised this week that it’s because I didn’t want this to be all about me.

I wanted it to be about the person I was always meant to share it with. I’m hoping that person is you.’

Her eyes widened and she tightened her hold on my hands but she didn’t speak, so I continued.

‘You know I said I’d only put lights on the tree? That was a white lie. There’s one decoration on there and it’s especially for you.’

I followed her over to the tree where, between the branches, a shiny silver key dangled from a red ribbon.

‘Lily Appleton, I’d love you to move in with me.

I want this to be our home, but only if and when you feel ready.

There’s no rush to give me an answer now either but, if you think it’s something you’d like to do at some point, I’m willing to buy you as many canvases and paint samples as you want to create those mood boards for our very own House of Dreams . ’

I wasn’t sure whether she’d heard my reference to the fourth book in L. M. Montgomery’s series – Anne’s House of Dreams – as she reached for the key and rested it in her palm, staring at it. My heart pounded. Had it been too much too soon?