Page 10 of Winter Nights at the Bay Bookshop

LILY

I spent my day off on Thursday exactly how I liked it – relaxing at Green Gables with a book – and returned to work on Friday feeling refreshed and positive.

‘You look brighter,’ Cassie said when she arrived.

‘I feel it. Monday was tough but what Dad said about Wes not being my Gilbert Blythe – Ewan too – was a light bulb moment. The rejection still hurts but I’ve accepted that the end was for the best.’

‘Glad to hear it. Does that mean you’re open to dating again? Jared’s got a couple of single mates who?—’

‘Won’t be dating me,’ I finished for her. ‘I wouldn’t have time to think about it this side of Christmas with the hours I’ll be working and, even if Dad wasn’t having his op, I’m not ready. I need to think hard about what I want before rushing into another relationship and getting hurt again.’

‘Fair enough, but you just have to say the word and I’ll have you fixed up in a whizz.’

* * *

All week, I’d been meaning to visit Bear With Me, the specialist teddy bear shop on the other side of the street.

The owner, Jemma, was a good friend who’d returned to work this week after becoming a mum for the third time and I was keen to find out how she was settling back in.

We’d caught up for a coffee on my day off a few weeks ago and I’d enjoyed cuddles with baby Jasmine and her three-year-old brother, Kieran, but had missed seeing their big brother, Freddie, who, now five, was at school.

Not wanting to bother Jemma across the busier lunchtime period, I took my break early at half eleven and headed across the cobbles.

Jemma was by the till, pricing up a box of soft toys, and she smiled widely when she saw me.

‘Welcome back!’ I said. ‘How’s it going?’

‘Like I’ve never been away. Annie’s such a pro at keeping things running without me. I don’t think she really needs me here.’

‘I’ll always need you,’ called a voice and I laughed as Jemma’s colleague Annie appeared from behind a giant teddy bear. ‘Hi, Lily. Jem, I’m going upstairs to see if we’ve got any more of those owls in the storeroom, but shout if you need me.’

There were a couple of customers in the shop – an elderly man studying the beautiful artist bears Jemma and her mum created and kept in glass cabinets as a sign that they weren’t meant for children, and a woman with a couple of young children in a double buggy.

She had her back to me and was picking soft toys from the shelves and showing them to the kids.

‘Is it a bad time?’ I whispered.

‘No, you’re fine. So, it’s going well. The only tears when I dropped Jasmine and Kieran off with our childminder were mine, but I’m fine now and I was ready to come back to work. And with it being part-time for now, I get the best of both worlds.’

The woman with the buggy approached the till so I moved aside.

‘I’ll take these two, please.’

She placed a lilac rabbit and a cream teddy bear on the counter and, as she looked up, my breath caught.

‘Jordan?’

She whipped her head round and glared at me. ‘Oh! It’s you!’

My stomach lurched. After all these years, did she really still have to be rude to me, especially when she was the one who’d decided she didn’t want to be friends with me anymore?

‘How are you?’ I asked, keeping my tone friendly.

She placed her phone over the terminal to pay for the soft toys then looked up at me, her eyes narrowed. ‘As if you don’t know.’

‘Know what?’

‘I suppose you think it’s karma.’

I shrugged. ‘I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.’

She snatched up the toys. ‘Like I believe that.’

As Jordan pushed the buggy towards the door, Jemma rushed over to open it for her. Jordan paused in the doorway.

‘Ozzie and Rhianna?’ She raised her eyebrows at me.

‘I’m sorry. I really don’t…’ I shrugged once more.

‘It’s all over town so you might as well get it straight from me.

They’ve been having an affair since before we were married and now he’s buggered off with her.

That kid of hers? She’s his. Pair of them probably thought it was hilarious asking me to be godmother.

She’s pregnant again so I’m back at my mum’s having to explain to my kids why their daddy chose them over us. Fun, eh?’

She’d gone before I even had a chance to respond.

‘I didn’t realise you knew her,’ Jemma said, wincing.

‘We were best friends in primary school but she ditched me for Rhianna.’

‘Ah! That explains the karma comment.’

I nodded. ‘Except I would never think something like that, especially when someone’s world has just been turned upside down.’

‘She comes in here every so often with her kids and usually has a quick chat, but obviously I’ve been off with Jasmine so I hadn’t seen her for ages.

I asked her how she was and out it all spilled.

She went to her mum’s when she found out about the affair and, when she returned to the family home, she discovered he’d already moved this Rhianna and her daughter in.

Age six, I think she said the little girl was.

How do you pick yourself up after that?’

‘It’s awful. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, although, funnily enough, Jordan and Rhianna are probably just that. The pair of them were horrible to me at senior school but she doesn’t deserve that, especially when there are children involved.’

The man approached the till. ‘Apologies for interrupting, my dear, but I can’t decide between two bears.’

Jemma smiled at him. ‘I’ll get them out for you, Mr Simms.’

‘I’ll see you later,’ I said. ‘We’ll organise a night out with Cassie.’

‘Sounds good. Bye, Lily.’

Returning to Bay Books, I was dying to tell Cassie who I’d just seen but there was a small queue so I waved and headed downstairs to the staff room, my encounter with Jordan playing on repeat.

But as I settled at the table with a mug of tea and my lunch, it was the end of our friendship which was on my mind.

I’d been excited, if a little apprehensive, about leaving behind the small, cosy world of primary school and starting at Laurendale School with so many more kids, but I’d felt confident I’d settle in quickly because I’d have my best friend by my side.

Jordan Hughes and I had been inseparable all the way through primary school.

She’d lived just around the corner from me so we’d seen a lot of each other outside of school too.

When Hendrix was born during my penultimate year of primary school and we moved to Everdene in a different part of town, I’d been worried about not seeing my best friend during the school holidays.

Our parents had ensured that didn’t happen, dropping us off at each other’s houses to spend time together.

I’d expected the summer between primary and senior school to pan out the same, but every time Mum got in touch with Jordan’s mum to make arrangements, there was an excuse.

Halfway through the summer break, I was helping my Granny Nora run the tombola at her village’s summer fete, my job being to retrieve the prizes.

Jordan appeared but obviously hadn’t noticed me, considering her shocked expression when she gave me her winning tickets.

I’m not normally one for confrontations – never have been – but I was so upset that, as I handed over her prizes, I couldn’t stop myself from blurting out, ‘Don’t you want to see me anymore? ’

I’ll never forget the coldness in her eyes as she dished out her truth. ‘No. Because I’m sick of you yabbering on about books all the time.’

‘But I thought you liked books.’

‘They’re boring, Lily. Just like you. Rhianna’s my best friend now.’ She curled her lip at me then ran off to join her new bestie.

Granny Nora witnessed it and wrapped me in a bear hug. ‘Someone capable of treating you like that isn’t worth your friendship, sweetheart, and they’re certainly not worth your tears.’

But I couldn’t help it. I was distraught at losing my best friend and so hurt by what she’d said about books being boring, about me being boring.

I’d never have believed she could turn on me like that.

And with Rhianna Black of all people – the girl who’d picked on me from the moment we met in reception class.

Across the rest of that summer, books were my friends and my escape.

I devoured the entire Anne of Green Gables series which I’d received in a boxset for Christmas, longing to live in Avonlea with a bosom friend like Diana Barry and a friend and love interest like Gilbert Blythe.

The books helped restore my belief that there were true friends out there who were worthy of my friendship. I just needed to find them.

That first day at Laurendale School, I was terrified and so very alone.

My primary school had fallen between two senior school catchment areas and all my other friends were going elsewhere.

What if I didn’t make any new friends? What if everyone had gone up with their best friends from primary school and, as mine had ditched me, I’d forever be on the outside?

Walking up the school drive, my heart sank when I spotted Jordan and Rhianna huddled together. I dipped my head and tried to slink past them unseen but no such luck.

‘Book bore approaching!’ Rhianna called. ‘Run before she sends you to sleep.’

I glanced towards Jordan, hopeful of an apologetic shrug, but she was laughing. My former best friend was actually laughing at what my bully said. Granny Nora had been right. She wasn’t worthy of my friendship, but where did that leave me?

I leaned against a wall, far away from Jordan’s and Rhianna’s sight, and removed Anne of Green Gables from my bag, desperate for some escapism before we were called into assembly to be split into our form classes.

I felt sick with relief when I heard that neither Jordan nor Rhianna were to be in my class, but I didn’t know a single soul who was and they all seemed to be paired off as we made our way from the hall to the classroom.

I was the last to enter and the only space left was a double desk in front of the teacher.

I slipped into it and, to this day, I have no idea how I managed to hold in the tears.

Across my five years at Laurendale School, I didn’t have much to do with Jordan and Rhianna.

We didn’t have any classes together or any friends in common.

If I did see them around, I’d be subjected to dirty looks or snarky comments, but I never rose to it.

I found it quite pathetic that their way of getting their kicks was to bring down others.

I remembered Ozzie from the year above us.

He’d been Jordan’s boyfriend when she was fourteen but they broke up when he left school.

They’d evidently got back together at some point without me realising because I’d been shocked when Dad pointed out their wedding announcement in Bay News.

It must have been about eight years ago because I remembered discussing it with Ewan and we hadn’t been together for long at the time.

I really felt for Jordan. It must be bad enough discovering your husband had been having an affair but for it to be with your best friend of twenty-three years was the ultimate betrayal.

I just hoped she had other friends who could help her through it because she was certainly going to need them.

I wouldn’t be trying to reconnect, though.

Some relationships were definitely best kept in the past.