Page 20 of Winter Nights at the Bay Bookshop

LILY

‘First day for Lars,’ Dad said as we set off towards work. ‘How are you feeling about him joining us?’

‘Nervous.’ From the moment I woke up my stomach had felt like it was on spin cycle.

‘Because he’s a new starter or because of who he is?’

‘Bit of both.’ I always felt anxious when we had new starters, hoping not only that we’d made the right decision but that they’d made the right choice about joining us.

‘But more of the latter,’ I admitted when Dad gave me a sideways glance. ‘Like I told you, he’s apologised so there’s a line in the sand and hopefully it’ll be smooth sailing from now on. Anyway, how was your swim this morning?’

Dad had turned sixty at the start of last year and had decided that a landmark birthday year was a great time to try new things.

He’d kicked that off with joining a friend on a fishing trip but was soon bored rigid and regretting not having a book with him.

He’d tried wild swimming but found no pleasure in the bitterly cold North Sea so only managed a few outings before deciding swimming was for him but in the warmth of the indoor pool.

His doctor had encouraged him to keep it going, saying that it was great activity for strengthening the muscles around his knees, which would aid him with his recovery post-op.

‘Good. It’s amazing how good my knees feel when I’m in the water and then I get out and have a stark reminder as to why I need the operation.’

‘Did you manage to get ahead with your assignments?’ His final big birthday change had been to enrol on a Master’s in English Literature with the Open University. He was loving studying again, joking that it kept him out of mischief on his Fridays and Saturdays off.

‘Yes, but not as far as I’d originally planned because it struck me that studying might be a good way of relieving the boredom while I’m recovering. I’m dreading it. All that time off! I’ll be crawling up the walls.’

‘You’re going to be a nightmare patient for Kadence, aren’t you?’ I said, smiling at him.

‘I told her not to take the time off, but she wouldn’t hear of it. She’s a glutton for punishment, that one.’

As Dad’s operation was after half-term and Mum would be back at college, my sister had insisted on taking a week off work to keep him company and make sure he didn’t try to do too much too soon.

Hendrix had booked a few days off at the start of the following week and I felt bad that I couldn’t do my bit but Dad had reminded me that I was already doing more than my fair share at the shop.

* * *

Dad and I were unpacking our book delivery by the till when Lars arrived for his first day. He was ten minutes early, taking me by surprise, which I evidently didn’t hide very well.

‘I hate being late,’ he said, his expression apologetic, ‘but I think I might be a bit too early. Would you like me to walk round the block?’

‘Erm, no, it’s fine,’ I said, reminding myself to smile because our school days were in the distant past and he’d already graciously apologised. Fresh start. ‘Welcome to your first day.’

‘From me too,’ Dad added. ‘Good to have you here.’

‘Why don’t you head downstairs?’ I suggested. ‘The staff room’s down there. I’ll join you as soon as Cassie comes up.’

‘Cassie?’

I could practically see the cogs whirring.

‘As in your best friend from school?’ he added.

‘That’s right. I’ll run through the team and their shifts as part of your induction. She’s making the drinks now so do give her your order.’

‘Okay. See you soon.’

I gave him the code to unlock the staff room door and he set off down the stairs.

‘Do you think I should have warned him about Cassie before?’ I asked Dad in hushed tones. ‘She’s promised to be on her best behaviour but you know Cassie. Doesn’t stand for any nonsense.’

Dad smiled. ‘Then he’d better be on his best behaviour too and not cause any nonsense.’

Cassie appeared at the top of the stairs a little later and Dad and I looked up at her expectantly.

‘How was the reunion?’ I asked. ‘Did you play nicely?’

‘I told him that, if he upsets you again, I’ll kill him and his body will be fish food,’ she said, her expression deadpan. ‘Was that welcoming enough?’

Thankfully there were no customers within earshot as I’m not sure what they’d have made of that.

‘I was very nice to him,’ she said, smiling. ‘Tell you what, that’s an impressive glow-up he’s had. If I wasn’t getting married…’

‘Cassie! Although I will admit he has improved with age. I just hope his personality has improved too. Wish me luck.’

With being on the lower ground level, the only natural light into the staff room came from some small, high windows at street level and Lars was peering out of them when I joined him.

‘This is an unusual view,’ he said, turning round to face me. ‘I can’t believe I haven’t noticed these windows before.’

He’d removed his coat, revealing a sky-blue shirt which made his eyes pop and stirred the butterflies in my stomach.

‘Is what I’m wearing okay?’ he asked, his voice hesitant.

I kicked myself for staring for too long. We didn’t have a uniform but asked staff to dress smartly, avoiding jeans, shorts, T-shirts and trainers.

‘It’s spot on. You look great.’ I kicked myself once more. ‘Smart, I mean. Exactly right. Let’s get started, shall we?’

Lars’s induction began with the boring but essential bits – a safety briefing covering everything from fire alarms to using Jeeves instead of carrying hot drinks or boxes of stock up and down the stairs.

After that, I showed him a copy of the staff rota, giving him an overview of the team.

Everyone except Dad and me were part-time, scheduled in to cover our days off, lunchtimes and busier times like weekends and school holidays when we needed extra bodies.

University student Alec and college students Flo and Cyndi worked regular hours but we had a few casual students we could call on during the summer holidays.

A tour was next, starting on the top floor and working our way down. I pointed out which books were stocked on each level, the logic behind some of the displays, and the bestsellers.

‘I appreciate this is a lot to take in,’ I said after we’d covered the top three levels. ‘I’m not expecting you to remember even a fraction of what I’m saying. There’s no test. I’ll give you some time to explore on your own across the week.’

‘It’s all going in,’ he said. ‘Always been good at retaining information.’

We continued down to the next level.

‘I didn’t mean to sound like I was boasting,’ he said as we paused in front of the shelves.

‘I didn’t think you were.’

‘Good. Can I just say again how sorry I am about?—’

I raised both hands to stop him and gave him a reassuring smile. ‘No need. Line in the sand, Lars. We’ve hopefully both changed a lot since school. Fresh start, okay?’

‘Okay. Thanks.’

‘But if you have retained everything, maybe I will test you after all.’

For a moment, he clearly believed me, his eyes wide, and then he laughed, making his eyes sparkle, and those butterflies stirred once more.

There was no denying that the quirky-looking boy had grown into an incredibly attractive man.

Not for me, mind. It’d be a long time before I was ready to let someone in again.

‘Do you read much non-fiction?’ I asked, eager to take my mind away from his looks.

‘I read all sorts. I like the occasional autobiography, I enjoy nature books and history. I’ve read a stack of books about Icelandic history and culture. Anything with Vikings in it and I’m all over it, whether it’s Iceland based or not.’

‘It’s your dad who’s Icelandic?’ I asked.

‘Yeah. My mum met him there when she was travelling.’

‘They still live in Whitsborough Bay?’

Lars’s expression darkened and his head dipped and I had a flashback to that sense of vulnerability I’d seen in him at school and the frustration that he kept pushing me away when I couldn’t help but think he desperately needed a friend.

‘Sorry. I don’t mean to be intrusive. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.’

‘It’s okay.’ He looked up once more, his eyes sad. ‘They split up years back. He lives in Iceland now with his new family and Mum travels with her job. I don’t see much of either of them.’

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, but a customer appeared and asked if she was on the right floor for history.

‘Two levels up,’ Lars said. ‘Is there a particular period of history you’re interested in?’

‘World War I.’

‘Let me show you.’ Lars glanced at me, as though seeking approval, and I nodded at him.

‘Is it for you or someone else?’ Lars asked as he headed up the stairs with the customer.

‘It’s for my dad. It’s his birthday soon and I haven’t a clue what to get him…’

They moved out of earshot so I didn’t catch the rest of their conversation but I was impressed with Lars for offering to take the customer to the section she was interested in.

I hadn’t yet talked about the way we tended to work but one of my requests was to take the customer to their preferred section if it was feasible to do so.

There was no point me going downstairs so I straightened up a few books and moved a couple which I spotted were out of place. I heard footsteps on the stairs and the customer’s voice drifted to me.

‘…been a great help. My dad’s going to love these.’

‘Hope he has a great birthday,’ Lars responded. ‘See you again soon.’

He joined me moments later, looking uncertain of himself. ‘I didn’t mean to take over.’

‘Will you do me a big favour? Will you stop apologising? It was great to hear you sounding knowledgeable and I love that you didn’t just point the customer in the direction of the books but took her there yourself. It’s all good.’

‘That’s a relief. I don’t want to mess this up.’

‘Believe me, Lars, helping customers is never making a mess of it.’

‘Can I just say something which might sound daft but I need to say it?’ he asked.

‘Of course.’ I kept my voice positive but braced myself for some criticism.

‘It’s just that…’ He paused and scrunched up his nose. ‘I’ve never actually worked for someone else before – well, not since I was a pot washer in my teens – so I don’t actually know how to be an employee.’

His vulnerability was so endearing and his honesty refreshing. I’d expected to dislike Lars but I found myself increasingly drawn to him. History repeating itself.

I gave him a reassuring smile. ‘Should I let you into a secret? Neither do I. This is the only place I’ve ever worked and it’s a family business so it’s not the same. From what I’ve seen so far, you’re doing great.’

He smiled back at me and I couldn’t help noticing the tension leaving his shoulders. Working here was evidently a big deal for him and I liked that he cared.

‘Let’s finish our tour,’ I said, ‘and then I think we’ve earned ourselves another cuppa.’

* * *

It made sense for Lars to take the same lunch break as me while I was training him. I’d encouraged him to get some fresh air and he took my advice, asking if he could get me anything while he was out.

‘I’ve brought a packed lunch,’ I said, ‘but thanks for the offer.’

‘How’s it going with our new recruit?’ Cassie asked, joining me at the till as Lars left the building.

‘Pretty well, I think. He’s taking everything in and he seems to be great with customers. Could be a good fit. How’s the morning been?’

‘Fairly quiet, so we’ve managed to get all the stock out on the shelves and the orders are ready for the post.’

‘Great work. So why are you frowning?’

‘It could be nothing but, when we were talking about Lars’s interview, you said he’d mentioned being an online customer so I looked him up on the system – interested to see what his reading tastes are – but he’s not on there.’

‘He isn’t?’

‘No. I’ve tried his surname with and without the accent over the “o” but it didn’t make any difference.’

‘Maybe he ordered them under a different name.’

‘Maybe.’

The insinuation sat heavily between us.

‘I’m sure it’s nothing,’ Cassie said. ‘People lie in interviews all the time. Take that Melissa, for example. She lied about liking reading to impress you.’ She winced, clearly realising that the point she was making in Lars’s defence wasn’t a positive one.

‘He probably buys from The-Site-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named,’ I said. ‘Might have been embarrassed to admit it.’

I tried to sound breezy about it but it bothered me.

I understood if Lars bought books elsewhere, especially as he’d also said he rarely made it into the town because of the long hours he worked, but why lie outright like that?

Why say anything at all? He wouldn’t have been rejected for not being a customer.

When Cassie disappeared to finish assisting Dad, I couldn’t help myself and tapped Lars’s name into the system, just in case Cassie had entered it incorrectly – perhaps only using one ‘n’ or one ‘s’ but after every possible combination of spelling I had to concede that Lars Jóhannsson wasn’t a Bay Books customer.

I wasn’t going to ask him about it – none of my business where he purchased his books – but the earlier positive impression of him was tinged with disappointment.

Too many men in my life had lied to me or omitted key information and let me down – Justin, Ewan and Wes – and I didn’t need another one on that list. Earlier, I’d found myself warming to Lars and could even imagine us one day finding our way back to friendship, but now I felt wary.

Yes, this was a small lie and I could imagine it slipping out in a moment of discomfort, but small lies or cover-ups typically led to bigger ones and I’d had my fill of that.