Page 29 of Winter Nights at the Bay Bookshop

LILY

Dad’s operation on Thursday went well. As it didn’t take place until late in the afternoon, he was kept in overnight and Mum left college early on Friday to collect him from the hospital.

I’d nipped in after work on Friday and again yesterday but only for fleeting visits as he was woozy on painkillers.

Mum had messaged me this afternoon to say he was a lot brighter and looking forward to a Sunday roast at teatime.

Arriving back at Everdene, I’d expected to see my sister’s car on the drive ready for her week of looking after Dad, but was surprised to also see her husband’s. Cory must have decided to drive across as well. Couldn’t say I blamed him as Mum’s Sunday roasts were legendary.

Kadence had evidently seen me pulling onto the drive as she dashed out of the house, arms outstretched for a hug. ‘I’ve missed you.’

‘Not as much as I’ve missed you,’ I responded. ‘And I see Cory’s joined us too.’

‘He said he’s going to miss me this week and wants to cling on to me for as long as he can. But in the next breath, he said he was gagging for one of Mum’s infamous roasts and, from the way he was salivating, I think the roasts are the real pull and I’m the afterthought.’

‘I’m going to dump my bag and have a quick change,’ I said, heading towards Green Gables. ‘I’ll be ten minutes.’

‘Five.’

‘Seven,’ I said, laughing as I waved a temporary goodbye.

Everyone was in the lounge when I’d changed. Cory hugged me and I was pleased to see some colour back in Dad’s cheeks.

‘I’ve got about fifteen minutes before I need to disappear into the kitchen,’ Mum said, smiling at Kadence and Cory. ‘Plenty of time for you to tell Lily about your house move.’

‘You’re moving?’ I asked, surprised. Their York apartment overlooked the River Ouse and was perfectly positioned for an active social life with only being a short walk to the shops, bars and restaurants.

‘We felt it was time for a change,’ Kadence said, handing me the sales particulars for an old detached house with a large garden in a village near York.

‘As soon as we saw it, we fell in love with it,’ Cory said. ‘We put our apartment on the market the following day and got an asking price offer the day after.’

‘Wow! That was speedy.’ I flicked through the details and felt a little pang of envy. The city-centre lifestyle had never appealed to me but a property like this with views across open countryside made my heart sing. It was similar to properties Wes and I had found and admired online.

‘It’s gorgeous. I’m guessing you won’t be in before Christmas.’

Kadence shook her head. ‘Just a bit too tight so we’re aiming for the end of January.’

‘Congratulations. I’ll look forward to visiting.’ I handed back the sales particulars. ‘I can see why you fell in love with it but I’m surprised you were even looking. You love city-centre living.’

‘We do,’ Kadence agreed, ‘but we won’t be able to sustain that lifestyle from late spring next year because…’

She passed me something else and I squealed as I looked down at a baby scan photo. ‘You’re pregnant!’

‘Fourteen weeks,’ Kadence confirmed.

I launched myself at my sister for another hug and gave Cory one too. ‘Congratulations to you both. Fourteen weeks would make it a…’ I scrunched up my face, trying to do the maths.

‘May baby,’ Cory said. ‘Seventeenth.’

‘That’s amazing news. Which explains the house move and also why you’re here today, Cory.’

I discovered that they’d told Mum and Dad their news as soon as they arrived and Mum wanted to see my reaction. Hendrix would be the last to know but Kadence and Cory were going to FaceTime him after we’d eaten as he’d be home from work by then and we’d all get the big news on the same day.

When Mum headed into the kitchen, I went to help her. It was lovely seeing her so excited about the news of her first grandchild. She and Dad would be incredible grandparents.

With the vegetables bubbling on the hob, Mum rested her back against the worktop and sipped on a glass of wine. ‘Are you okay?’ she asked, her voice soft.

‘Of course! Why wouldn’t I be? It’s amazing news.’

‘It is, but I know it can’t be easy for you.’

She didn’t need to explain what she meant.

If things had worked out as expected with Ewan, I’d have walked up the aisle before Kadence and we’d have had children first. But it wasn’t to be.

And if things had worked out with Wes, a pretty village home, marriage and kids would have been imminent but that wasn’t to be either and, strangely, it didn’t bother me nearly as much as it would have a few weeks ago.

I walked over to the fridge and topped up my glass of wine. ‘I really am okay. Being thirty-four, single, childless and living at home aren’t what I expected but the unexpected things in life are often the best .’

Mum smiled. ‘They certainly are. Come here, you!’ She pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. ‘You mightn’t be able to see yet why the hurt those two caused you is for the best, but I’m confident you will do soon.’

‘I’m already starting to. Dad told me about you both thinking that neither of them were my Gilbert Blythe and I can see that now. Amazing what a bit of time and space can do.’

‘I’m so glad you feel that way. He’s out there and I’m sure you’ll meet him soon. Maybe you already have.’

Lars immediately came to mind and my heart began racing.

‘We’ll have to wait and see,’ I said, smiling at Mum. ‘As Anne Shirley says , I don’t know what lies around the bend, but I am going to believe the best does .’

Could the best be Lars? Everything about him had turned out to be unexpected and I had to admit that offering him the job was the best thing I could possibly have done.

He’d already proved himself to be an asset as an employee in a very short space of time.

He’d fitted seamlessly into the team and I felt as though the friendship we’d forged when we were nine but lost at school was developing nicely.

I’d hoped in my teens for more than friendship and those feelings had returned and intensified with the passing weeks.

I had no idea what Lars thought of me but if by some miracle he was attracted to me too, could I even consider going there?

For a moment, I really thought I could and it warmed and thrilled me.

But then the what ifs set in and my heart sank.

What if it all went horribly wrong? We wouldn’t be able to keep working together and, without the cover for Dad, I’d be stuffed.

As would my heart. I wasn’t strong enough to cope with someone breaking it yet again.

I couldn’t pick myself up, brush myself off and start over again.

I just couldn’t. After being rejected by Jordan, Lars, Ewan, Wes and repeatedly by Justin, Lars rejecting me once more would be one rejection too many for me and I’d probably never recover.

The idea of a future with Lars was pretty amazing but it needed to stay just that – an idea, a dream, a fantasy. Because the reality of it going wrong was far too scary.