Page 86 of When We Were Young

One Year Later

Liv

Ben arrives. He’s out of breath from running up the stairs.

‘Hi.’ He kisses my cheek, then my lips, and lingers.

I bat him away. ‘Pippa’s over there!’

‘So?’

‘I’m trying to pretend I’m a professional author.’

‘You are a professional author.’

Ben’s sister Beth calls him over and puts him to work pouring glasses of fizz.

This whole thing is Beth’s master plan. She’s in PR and insisted on organising a book launch party.

Months ago, she asked me about my dream venue and who would come.

I had no idea she was making mental notes.

So here we are in my favourite bookshop: Cartwright’s in Bloomsbury.

We have the top floor to ourselves. The arched window at the end lets in the last golden rays of the day, illuminating the ancient oak mezzanine packed with books.

Beth has arranged a display of Will’s guitars and on an easel beside them the Yellow Feathers artwork catches the light, on show at last after years in the dusty attic at Matty’s parents’ house.

My agent, Pippa, calls me over to sign more books.

‘People are arriving,’ she says, nodding towards the staircase as Dad climbs the last steps.

‘This place is amazing,’ he says, kissing my cheek. ‘You look lovely.’

‘Thanks.’

‘And here it is.’ He picks up a copy of my book.

‘You’ve seen it before.’

‘Not in a bookshop. Now it’s real.’

There’s a tap on my shoulder. It’s still a shock to see Chloe’s long black hair cropped into an angular bob with the ends dip-dyed blue. ‘Hello, Olivia Lawrence-King.’

I throw my arms around her. ‘You made it!’

‘Wouldn’t miss it for the world!’

She’s travelled up from Brighton where she’s studying psychology.

Her boyfriend Dan is with her, and I hug him, too.

She’s much happier now she’s doing what she wants rather than what’s expected of her.

We don’t see each other as often as I’d like, but we message every day, even if it’s only a stupid cat video.

I pick up a book, flick to the acknowledgements, and hand it to her.

She reads the part for her:

Thanks to my partner in crime since primary school, Chloe Chan, without whose super-sleuth detective work, this book would not have been possible. And without whose friendship and support I would be lost.

‘Ah, that’s awesome,’ says Dan, reading over her shoulder, but Chloe stares at the page in silence. A tear slides down her cheek.

My stomach lurches. ‘Oh, I knew I’d get it wrong! What I was trying to say was––’

‘It’s perfect.’ She sniffs. ‘Thank you. I wasn’t expecting… this .’ She laughs and wipes her eyes.

I give her another hug. ‘I’m so lucky to have a friend like you.’

‘Shut up, Liv. You’re ruining my mascara.’

I glance at the stairs. If Mum was coming, wouldn’t she be here by now?

But it’s Matty and Reu who arrive next, and I go to meet them.

‘Wow,’ says Matty, ‘the book looks brilliant. I can’t wait to read it.’

‘Don’t lie,’ says Reu, ‘you’ve never read a book in your life!’

‘Well, that’s because I’ve never been in one before!’

I take them to the display of guitars, then leave them reminiscing when I spot Aidan Bailey standing stock still at the top of the stairs. He loosens his collar and rubs his brow, overwhelmed by the sight of his brother’s face everywhere.

He composes himself as I get closer.

‘Congratulations on the book,’ he says.

‘Thanks for trusting me with it. This book would never have happened if you hadn’t let me loose on Will’s stuff.’ I pause, then ask, ‘Is Mary coming?’

‘She’s got a bit of a cold. She sends her apologies, but she asked me to give you this.’

He hands me a thin box wrapped in yellow paper dotted with tiny white birds.

‘Oh, she shouldn’t have.’

‘Open it.’

I rip off the wrapping and lift the lid. Inside is a pen with delicate leaves curled around the barrel.

‘I told her writers don’t use pens anymore, but she wanted you to have it, anyway,’ he says.

‘It’s beautiful. Perfect for signing books. Please thank her for me.’

‘Maybe you can thank her in person? She loves it when you visit.’

‘I’d like that. Come with me. Some people you know have already arrived.’

I take him over to Matty and Reu. ‘I know you see Reu regularly, but here’s a face you might not have seen for a while.’

Aidan claps a hand on Matty’s shoulder. ‘Long time no see, man.’ Then Aidan wraps an arm around Reu’s neck. ‘Did this dude tell you he’s godfather to my eldest?’

Matty laughs. ‘I can’t think of a more heathen godfather.’

Reu feigns offence.

‘No, seriously,’ says Aidan, ‘he’s the coolest godfather. I mean, who else can get Ed Sheeran to send a video message on the kid’s birthday?’

Reu grins. He’s a session drummer, often away on tour with big-name artists. In between gigs, he volunteers at the youth charity his sister founded. He’s a genuine hero. It’s hard to imagine him broken by addiction.

‘Although, I’ll never forgive him for buying her a drum kit,’ Aidan adds.

‘Come on,’ says Reu, ‘She’s getting good, now.’

‘Yeah, I admit it, she is getting pretty good. She’s eyeing the prize at the school talent contest, that’s for sure.’

I glance at the stairs as Pippa drags me away to talk to my contacts at a suicide prevention charity, but there’s still no sign of Mum.

I’m mid-conversation when she finally shows up at the top of the staircase.

Like Aidan, she winces when she sees Will’s face everywhere.

She’s wearing a stylish wrap dress with a bold geometric pattern; hexagonal bangles hang at her wrist. As I listen to the charity guys, Mum composes herself, scans the room, and spots Dad.

When she reaches him, she touches his arm and whispers into his ear.

Whatever she’s said makes him chuckle, and he kisses her on the lips.

They’re still like newlyweds, even though they’ve been married for three years.

After the wedding, we all took the name Lawrence-King.

It was as though the three of us made a promise to each other that day, not just the two of them.

As soon as I can break away, I go to Mum. ‘I was worried you weren’t coming.’

‘I’m so sorry I’m late. I spilled a tin of paint in the studio as I was leaving, and I had to clean it up.’

‘Was it blue, by any chance?’ I ask.

‘Oh no, did I miss a bit?’

I wipe the smudge from her jawline with my thumb. ‘There.’

‘All gone?’

‘Yep.’

‘Come here.’ She pulls me close and whispers, ‘Dad and I are so proud of you.’

I have to swallow before I can speak. ‘I’m sorry I was such a difficult teenager.’

‘Don’t be silly,’ she says, waving a hand. She picks up one of my books and turns it over in her hands. ‘He would have liked you, you know.’

‘Will?’

‘Yes. The way you write. This book. The way you talk about music. I’ve often thought that…’

I don’t want to blub in front of everyone, so I change the subject. ‘Come on. People are waiting to see you.’

‘Oh my God !’ Mum cries when she recognises Matty, Reu, and Aidan. She hugs them in turn and Dad follows behind, shaking their hands.

‘You haven’t changed a bit,’ Mum tells Reu, stepping back to take in his long black ringlets.

‘Neither have you,’ he replies.

‘Yeah, I know…’ says Matty, patting his gut and running his hand over his smooth head. ‘I’ve changed quite a lot.’

We all laugh.

Mum says, ‘Lovely to see you, Aidan.’

‘You too.’

Dad puts his hand on the small of her back; he knows they were once lovers. Beth offers us drinks from a tray. Everyone takes a glass of champagne, except Reu, who takes a juice.

‘Twenty-six years sober,’ he says, raising his glass.

‘That’s a massive achievement, Reu. Well done,’ says Mum.

Dad raises his glass. ‘To Liv and her terrific book.’

Everyone raises their glass towards me. ‘To Liv.’

I raise mine. ‘To Will.’

‘To Will.’

I excuse myself to say hello to Tumi and Paul and the team from Amplify , then spend the following half hour mingling. When I get back to the group, Mum is throwing her head back in laughter at something Matty is saying.

‘Reu got locked in the toilet at Red Rocks just as we were about to go on stage,’ he says. ‘Will and I had to break the door down.’

‘That was a night to remember,’ says Mum.

Reu laughs. ‘I wish I could remember it.’

I recall the magic of the place when Mum and I visited on our road trip. Everyone goes quiet. Mum’s eyes look glassy and Matty gives an awkward cough.

The two hours we’ve hired the room pass in a flash. I’ve answered the same questions over and over. My feet, in their dainty heels, are killing me and I’m exhausted.

Mum and Dad have gone ahead to the restaurant with Chloe, Dan, and Beth. Ben’s waiting for me by the staircase.

‘Why don’t you wait downstairs?’ I call over. ‘I’ll be down in a minute.’

He looks up from his phone and smiles. Even after all this time, he still makes my chest flutter. He nods and bounds off down the stairs.

I sit at the table where I’d been signing books earlier and pick up the pen that Mary gave me. I roll it around in my fingers, then use it to sign one more book:

Dear Mary,

Thank you for everything, but especially for giving my family a chance at happiness.

With love,

Olivia x

Before I head downstairs, I steal a minute to myself by the guitars.

Next to the Yellow Feathers artwork sits an oversized print of the book cover.

Will Bailey looks right at me. He’s looking at me the same way that Ben looked at me just now.

It was Mum Will was looking at when she pressed the shutter and froze that moment in time.

I study Will’s face and ask him silently if he’s okay with me messing with his story. His history . But his expression says it all. He adored my mother and if he could have spared her any pain, he would have.

I check no one’s around and whisper, ‘Thank you.’

And I take his blessing and skip down the stairs to my family.