Page 66 of When We Were Young

Scott wandered up and down outside the art block smoking a cigarette, kicking at stones while coming up with ideas for a project.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a figure coming towards the building from the far end of the car park.

Was he being paranoid, or did that guy look like Will?

As he got closer, he looked a lot like Will.

For fuck’s sake, why wouldn’t he leave her alone?

Even before Will broke into the flat, he’d turned up several times – pressing the buzzer and loitering outside.

Scott had to go downstairs and tell him to get lost. Emily was a wreck after every visit.

She flinched whenever the buzzer went, and lately, she avoided being alone in the flat.

Now Will was bothering her here. He’d have to confront him again. Adrenaline tingled in Scott’s hands as he took one last drag on the cigarette and mashed it into the ashtray on the wall. When he turned back, Will wasn’t heading to the entrance but heading towards him.

Scott sized Will up as he approached. They were around the same height, the same build, even. It wasn’t obvious who would win in a fight.

‘What are you doing here?’ Scott straightened his posture.

‘Can I have a quick word with you?’ Close up, Will had dark circles under his eyes and his long hair was dirty and lank.

‘With me? What about?’

‘There’s something Emily needs to know––’

‘I’ve told you before, she doesn’t want to speak to you.’

Will closed his eyes briefly. ‘I know––’

‘Listen, you broke into our flat. You’re lucky she didn’t press charges. You’re scaring her. Her parents want her to get a restraining order.’

‘I know,’ said Will, ‘but this is about something else.’

‘Leave her alone, Will. There are plenty more fish in the sea. Especially for someone like you.’

‘Look, I know she doesn’t want to talk to me, but this is important. One of our friends is in hospital. He… he might not make it. She would want to know. She’d want to visit him.’

‘What’s this got to do with me?’

‘I was hoping you’d give her this note. She doesn’t need to speak to me, but she needs to know about this.’ Will was clutching an envelope. ‘Please, give her this note. It explains everything.’

‘If I take this, you’ll go?’

‘Yes, but there might not be much time. You need to give it to her today.’

‘Okay.’ Scott took the envelope, but Will stayed put. ‘You said you were leaving.’

‘I wanted to say sorry about the other night. The mess I made of your room and––’

‘You gave us the money. It’s all fixed now.’

‘Good. Well, thanks for getting me to the hospital and thanks for… this.’

Scott nodded, then glared at Will until he got the message and left.

Scott folded the letter and put it in his back pocket. He lit another cigarette and watched until Will was out of sight.

Scott left college early and got back to the flat before the others.

He put the kettle on and while he waited for it to boil, he told himself this was the right thing to do.

What if Will was making shit up to get her to read a note from him?

It was his responsibility, as Emily’s friend, to make sure there was nothing suspicious about this note, that it was safe to give to her. The guy was unhinged.

As steam billowed from the spout, he took the envelope from his pocket and waved it around in the cloud, trying not to scald his fingertips. After a few moments in the steam, the moist seal opened easily. He pulled out and unfolded the single sheet.

Milly,

Please read this. It’s not about us – it’s about Reu. I know you don’t want to speak to me, but you would never forgive me if I didn’t tell you this.

Reu’s in hospital, he’s in a coma. They found him in a filthy squat overdosed on heroin.

On heroin, Milly – can you believe it? I know he liked the odd spliff – okay, a regular spliff – but I didn’t see this coming.

I should have realised. All those times we were partying, he’d be drenched in sweat and his pupils were tiny pinpricks.

I should have realised he was on a slippery slope.

I should have protected him. He’s not been himself.

The warning signs were all there, but I’ve been too preoccupied with my own problems to notice.

Money had been going missing, but I didn’t suspect Reu for one moment.

I should have checked in on him more. I can’t believe I let this happen.

He would have been better off if he never met me, and that’s saying something because his old life was bad enough.

Anyway, they say it’s touch and go.

I thought you should know and maybe if you visited him, you might get through to him.

You two always got along. He’s in the intensive care unit at St George’s Hospital.

I’m there most of the time. I’d love to see you.

I miss you, Milly. So much. I wish you’d let me explain properly, but I promise I won’t hassle you. I just want him to wake up.

Visiting hours are midday till 9 p.m. Could you come tomorrow? I could meet you by the entrance at midday.

I know he’d want to hear your voice.

Love,

Will x

Scott read the letter again. Was Will telling the truth?

All the times he’d shouted at Will over the intercom, the times he’d spoken to him outside the flat, it was obvious Will was desperate.

The poor lovesick bastard would do anything to speak to Emily.

But would he lie about a friend being in hospital?

Scott doubted that. But Will might be capable of exaggerating.

He was making out Reu was on death’s door, but was he really?

Scott paced up and down the kitchen.

And what if he was telling the truth? Emily would go to that hospital, and Will would be back in her life. If Reu pulled through, they could get back together and if he didn’t, Will was already teetering. It could send him over the edge.

Could Will be on drugs too? They were friends, weren’t they? The state of him at college today, he looked like a junkie. Did she really want to get mixed up with drug addicts? She had a bright future ahead of her. She was supposed to be going to Amsterdam next year – this could derail that.

Scott checked his watch – the girls would be back soon

He made a decision.

One he would wrestle with for the rest of his life.

He took his lighter, flipped the lid, thumbed the flint, and dangled the letter in the flame. It licked at the bottom corner for a moment before catching light. He turned the sheet this way and that, as it blackened and curled, and fell in flaming pieces into the sink.