Page 43 of When We Were Young

Liv

I can’t get Will Bailey’s last song out of my head.

I’ve listened to it so many times I know the lyrics off by heart, but I still don’t understand them.

I’m humming it under my breath as Chloe and I queue up outside the exam hall.

I spot Nathan approaching and I start to sweat.

As he walks past us to join the end of the queue, he throws me a ‘hey’.

It’s the perfect blend of acknowledging me and playing it cool until I see Chloe’s face.

She looks like a cartoon character, her mouth open and her eyes on stalks.

‘Oh my God, Nathan Hall likes you!’ she whisper-shouts.

‘Don’t be silly…’

‘Did you see the way he looked at you? He spoke to you!’

‘He just said “hey”, he was probably talking to Harry.’ Harry’s ahead of us in the queue.

‘Harry’s gone!’

She’s right: Harry’s gone into the hall. This is the perfect moment to tell her. I might not get another chance without it being weird, but I say, ‘Come on, everyone’s going in.’

‘He definitely likes you,’ says Chloe as we shuffle towards the entrance.

‘I can tell. Do you like him ? What am I saying – who doesn’t?

He’s fit. I mean, he’s way too tall for me, but you, you’d only have to tiptoe to kiss him.

That’s perfect. I’d need a chair. I would literally have to get a chair to stand on.

But I wouldn’t mind. I’d carry a fold-up chair around with me, on the off chance… ’

Normally I’d be rolling around on the floor laughing at her going off on one like this, but this is making me squirm. Luckily, when we go through the doors, we’re not allowed to talk anymore.

After the exam, Chloe waits outside for me. We walk to the gates together, comparing answers to the exam questions. Chloe’s dad is parked across the street, waiting to take her to her tennis lesson. We’re saying goodbye when Nathan appears out of nowhere.

‘Hey Liv, I listened to that playlist you sent me last night – it’s awesome,’ he says. ‘That Underdogs track’s amazing – awesome drum solo. I’ll send you that Liars song, the drums on that are cool. See you later.’ Then he’s gone.

He has never said that many words to me in one go. This is the one time I’d rather he’d kept his mouth shut.

Chloe’s eyebrows pull together. ‘You’ve been sharing playlists with Nathan? And you didn’t tell me.’

‘There’s nothing to tell––’

Chloe storms off to the crossing and I run to catch her up.

‘I tell you everything!’ she says. ‘Every stupid bloody detail of my boring life and you didn’t even mention swapping numbers with him, let alone sharing bloody playlists! How long has this been going on?’ She jabs at the button for the crossing.

‘There’s nothing going on, I––’

‘You know what I mean!’

‘He started talking to me at the bus stop a few weeks ago. Really, it’s nothing.’

‘Don’t worry about it. I understand. You don’t want to tell me stuff.’

‘I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. I was embarrassed…’

‘Liv…’ She turns to face me. ‘That’s a pathetic excuse.’

‘I know. I do want to tell you stuff…’

‘Well, start talking. What else don’t I know?’ She folds her arms in front of her chest, her eyebrows high.

‘I… I went to his house… once and––’

‘For God’s sake, Liv!’ The lights change and she runs across the road, her shiny black ponytail, the envy of my entire childhood, bouncing as she runs.

‘Chloe!’ I yell.

But she doesn’t look back. She hops in the car, and a moment later, they drive off.