Page 36 of When We Were Young

Will was sofa surfing while he saved for a deposit to rent a flat, which meant there was no money for nights out.

Emily had just paid hers, so she was skint, too.

She’d be moving into her new place in Balham soon, but in the meantime, she didn’t want to introduce him to her parents.

They were just getting used to her split from Aidan and she was reluctant to tell them she was seeing his brother so soon after.

They had nowhere to go.

A friend of a friend was looking for a flatmate, so Will went to view the two-storey flat above a grocery shop. It was filthy, and the bedroom was small and damp, but he was sick of living out of a bag and desperate for somewhere to be alone with Emily, so he took it.

Will spent a week cleaning every night after work to get the place into a state where he could invite her back, and it was a constant battle to keep his flatmate, Alan, from messing the place up again.

Once the bedroom smelled less musty, and the toilet bowl was almost white, he took Emily to the local Italian for dinner.

He ordered the cheapest thing on the menu, and despite telling her to have whatever she wanted, Emily chose the same, and they shared a bottle of house red.

She offered to go halves, but he insisted on paying and they walked the short distance to his place.

He led her down the alley behind the shops, and they climbed the stairs to his new home. He opened the door and quickly dashed in to check the kitchen was still respectable before inviting her in.

‘Drink?’ he asked.

‘No thanks.’ She peered in from the hall. ‘Good-sized kitchen.’

It was difficult to come up with positives, but neither of them were thinking about the size of the kitchen.

Will was hoping Alan would be out, but he was watching TV in the sitting room.

‘Alan, this is Emily, Emily – Alan,’ said Will.

Alan turned the volume down, stood up, and said, ‘Ah, Emily.’

Like that didn’t sound weird.

‘Nice to meet you,’ said Emily.

‘Come on,’ said Will, taking her by the hand upstairs to his room.

He didn’t turn on the main light but went ahead in the dark to switch on the lamp he’d borrowed from the sitting room.

It looked out of place and took up valuable floor space but was better than the stark overhead bulb.

He shut the door behind her, took her jacket and bag, and placed them on the amp under the window.

His single bed looked forlorn pushed up against the wall in his tiny room.

‘Nice place you’ve got here,’ she said.

He smiled. ‘No, it’s not.’

As he leant in to kiss her, he was sure she must be able to hear his heart pounding.

All the kissing up to that point had been the long, lingering, teasing kind, but these new kisses had a breathless urgency bordering on impatience.

She unbuttoned his shirt, and he tried to help her with her dress until they realised they could do it faster themselves.

He’d imagined taking time to explore her body, but that went out the window.

In his haste to lead her to the bed, he stumbled, and she fell on top of him with a giggle.

She didn’t break eye contact as she shifted her position and the sight of her naked astride him made his breath catch in his throat. He needed to be inside her.

As she lowered herself onto him, she let out a tiny ‘oh’.

That ‘oh’ nearly killed him. It was almost game over right then.

He brought his hands to her hips, feeling her move, but he dared not move himself.

Watching her was too much. He had to keep closing his eyes.

He felt her breath on his neck, her half kisses teasing his lips, then her hands pushing against his chest. Opening his eyes for the briefest of moments, he glimpsed her, back arched, eyes closed, chin lifted in the dim light.

He moved with her then. He couldn’t have lasted any longer, anyway.

She shuddered as she came and curled over him, breathless, her hair brushing against his chest, and he finally let go.

As she kissed his neck, a lump formed in his throat. Jesus, what was wrong with him? He was still in her, for Christ’s sake. A tear escaped, slipping down over his temple and pooling in his ear.

She lifted her head, smiling until she saw his face.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked.

‘Nothing,’ he whispered. ‘I’m just happy.’

She lay down beside him, gathering him into her arms.

And he felt his soul spill into her.

Emily woke in a tangle of limbs, her face close to the wall. She felt Will’s rhythmic breathing as he slept close behind her. She turned to face him, their noses almost touching.

‘Hi,’ he said, a sleepy grin spreading across his face.

She felt as though a balloon was inflating inside her. ‘Hi.’

He swept a lock of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. ‘Did you sleep okay?’

She nodded. ‘You?’

‘Mm-hmm.’ Their bodies were so close the sound vibrated through her.

She fought the sudden urge to take his bottom lip between her teeth, but bit into her own instead. His gaze dropped to her mouth, watched as she released her lip slowly through her teeth.

That time, it was different. He was more relaxed, more playful, and very eager to please. He took his time caressing and tasting every inch of her body and by the time he slipped inside her, she was half-crazy with the need for him.

Afterwards, she lay in the crook of his arm.

He murmured into her hair so softly she almost missed it, ‘I love you.’

She lifted her head to search his eyes. He looked weary, sort of defeated.

‘I love you,’ she said. It wasn’t a reply, more of a statement.

She had said it before.

She meant it every time she’d ever said it, but this was different.

This was so intense, it kind of hurt.