Page 78 of When We Were Young

Liv

As soon as I knew Mum and Dad were going away, I arranged to visit the Baileys’ house.

I’ve missed working on the archive, but once I get stuck in, it’s as if I haven’t been away.

I find a box of CDs in one of the flight cases and I’m photographing them, and creating a Spotify playlist, when I hear voices coming from Mary’s kitchen.

He must be here.

Then I hear a baby crying – it’s someone else. I go back to my work, but a few minutes later, the door from the kitchen opens.

Mary is holding a fat little baby. She’s like a doll, a halo of shiny black curls. She’s adorable.

‘Shall we have some yoghurt while Daddy chats with Liv?’ says Mary, holding the door open.

A man steps into view, kisses his daughter on the forehead. ‘Bye-bye, sweetie.’

He turns to me and says, ‘You must be Liv.’

I smile. ‘Yes, hi. And you must be Reu.’

Interview transcript – Reuben ‘Reu’ Brody

OL: Matty told me Will split with his girlfriend around the time he was writing the second album in Wales.

RB: Yeah. That’s when Will was having trouble writing, and it got worse after the split, and we all came back to London. That’s when things get a little hazy for me.

OL: You don’t remember?

RB: [Sighs] I hung out with the Paradigm roadies back when we were touring with them in the US.

I started smoking a lot of weed and after that I tried a few other things.

I enjoyed feeling out of it. I was young and stupid, and one thing led to another, and I ended up…

no, I won’t make excuses. I was an idiot.

OL: What happened?

RB: All my dreams had come true. All three of us were having the time of our lives then when we got to Wales – it seemed like it could all be over.

I was anxious all the time – except when I was high.

When I was high, I didn’t worry. I was happy living in cloud cuckoo land.

Nothing mattered. I had to borrow money.

Then when people stopped lending me money, I started stealing it.

There was a dodgy dealer at the pub in the village.

He was always trying to get me to try heroin.

I tried it once, and that was it. When we got back to London, I needed to get hold of more.

[Whispers] I stole from Mary’s purse. I feel so bad about that. All that woman did for me. She took me in and was a mother to me when my own mother didn’t know if I was alive or dead.

[Laughs] I had issues.

I don’t remember much of what happened, but it was only the second time I took it, and I overdosed.

I was with this bunch of so-called ‘friends’ at this squat.

Matty and Will didn’t know where I was. They’d have killed me if they’d known.

I guess I was lucky I wasn’t on my own – someone called an ambulance. I was in a coma for almost two weeks.

All I know is it was an accident – I didn’t mean to do it. I just wanted to feel that rush again. But it was touch and go there for a bit and…

[Pauses] I think Will blamed himself.

He treated me like a little brother, you know? [Tearful] He made me believe in myself. If he hadn’t taken me in, God knows where I’d be now.

[Sniffs] He thought I was going to die, and he couldn’t handle it. If I hadn’t been so stupid… so selfish… he’d still be here. But when I woke up, he was gone.