Page 41 of What I Should Have Felt (Anchors and Eagles #4)

FORD

I studied Colette’s face, desperately searching to understand her reaction to Bernie’s announcement.

Waiting for the anger at another lie…though not technically a lie, but all the same, something I’d hidden from her, to dance across her expression.

But instead, I found understanding and excitement? Was she…proud of me?

Two arms wrapped around my stomach with a force stronger than even Bernie had slugged me with, and I grunted on impact. Glancing down, curly red hair buried against my torso. “You came!” Azelie exclaimed, squeezing me even tighter.

“Wouldn’t miss it. I just figured you could use a few recruits to help with the Becca situation,” I replied.

She chuckled and peeled her face off me but kept her arms wrapped around me. “I was fine. I was going to let her have her moment and then tell her off later when I managed to dig up something good on her. But I’ll take this. This was even better.” She grinned as Bernie stepped toward us.

“You gonna introduce us, or now that we’ve successfully deescalated your situation, are we fucking chopped liver?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes as Azelie stepped away and scanned my team. Colette quietly crept up behind her daughter but said nothing.

“This asshat is Bernie. He likes to blow shit up,” I grumbled, tossing a thumb at my best friend.

Azelie giggled as Colette’s brows furrowed.

Pointing to Mikey, I continued. “That’s Mikey.

If you can’t tell, he likes to get punched, but he tends to punch back.

Also, he’s the one that helped me with your knives,” I explained and glanced at Colette.

She smiled warmly as Azelie looked at her mom.

“Knives? You have knives? What knives?” Azelie asked, and Colette waved dismissively.

“Go on,” Colette said.

“That’s Scottie. She’s dating the bonehead Mikey and is a phenomenal shot, so best not to piss her off.

” I pointed at Scottie, who winked at Azelie.

“That’s Dom. He’s probably the smartest guy I know, which is why it’s a good thing he took over when Griffin retired, or we would’ve been fucked the next day. ”

Dom smiled and gave a brief nod toward Colette and my daughter. “I’m assuming that’s Griffin?” Azelie asked, pointing at my old commander.

He nodded and raised a brow. “You have no idea how nice it feels to not be the only dad now.”

Azelie’s eyes widened, and she stumbled back. “You’re a dad?”

Griffin sighed as the rest of us chuckled. “Why is that always so fucking surprising? I’m a great dad. The best dad. Jane at least tells me I am.”

“Who’s Jane?” Azelie asked, her eyes darting between me and Griffin.

“His wife and the only woman in the world to tolerate his ass,” Bernie stated and tossed a thumb at the big oaf who scowled.

“She’s awesome and totally put him in his place the first time we met her.

We had to rescue her when she got kidnapped, and she wouldn’t let him forget that it took him three—”

“All right! That was what, five almost six fucking years ago. Can we not let it go?” Griffin inserted with a growl.

Azelie’s mouth fell open as a strange snort-like sound rumbled up from her throat. “I can’t figure out if I should laugh or be shocked. You let her get kidnapped? As in, she really got taken by someone…?”

“He didn’t let her get kidnapped. It was this drug cartel guy who—” I stopped talking as Colette sliced a glare toward me. “Details don’t matter. What does matter is she’s safe, and I promise that won’t happen with you, okay?”

Azelie slowly nodded as Macy scootched her way over to my daughter’s side, dragging Cory with his head hung low and eyes locked to the ground. “Tell her,” Macy muttered, shoving him forward.

“Tell me what?” Azelie’s brows furrowed as my sights locked onto the boy who had crushed her. I clenched my jaw, holding back the anger that was also partly his fault.

Cory twisted his toe into the ground, refusing to look at Azelie. Or me.

“Cory,” Thomas grumbled and shoved his arm.

Suddenly, he inhaled sharply and snapped his eyes to Azelie.

“I didn’t want to go with Becca. She asked, and it caught me off guard ’cause I was planning to ask you, and I wasn’t thinking clearly, so I didn’t say no.

But my parents said I had to go with the first person who asked me, except I didn’t want to.

The moment that Becca and I got to the dance, I ditched her with Macy and Thomas, but I accidentally left my phone in her car.

Which is where it still is, or I would’ve texted you.

I asked Macy and Thomas not to say anything so I could apologize to you in person because you deserve that because I like you. ”

Colette covered her mouth with her hand to hide the smile forming on her face as I nodded to myself. There was the Cory who stood up for Azelie and Macy at the track when I first met him. Bold and proud. Even Mark grinned as he crossed his arms, remaining in the distance.

The warning that the race would be starting and all runners needed to line up was Cory’s answer as Azelie simply stared at him. With a smile that was almost too girlish and grown for her. Shit. I was gonna have to keep an eye on this boy.

“You like me?” she whispered as the crowd shoved forward toward the starting line.

He nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier. But yeah, I have for a while.” His cheeks turned slightly pink as Griffin clapped me on the back and leaned forward.

“Glad I don’t have to deal with that shit for another few years. Good luck, buddy,” he muttered in my ear.

I pursed my lips as Azelie grinned, and it was as if she forgot that I existed. She giggled and skipped ahead into the forming line-up with Cory and her two friends.

“Well, so much for a heartfelt run together with my daughter,” I grumbled.

A gentle hand rested on my arm, and I glanced at piercing green eyes that melted me on the spot.

“Is that her?” Bernie gasped beside me with a wiggle of his brows. “I knew you had a thing for redheads. Makes so much sense.”

“Careful. She might stab you like she did me, and this time, the blade is longer than two inches,” I quipped back.

Bernie blinked rapidly as Mikey burst out laughing behind me. “She stabbed you? When did she stab you?”

“When he decided to sneak up on me after disappearing for fifteen fucking years,” Colette replied.

“Oh, I like her already. She reminds me of you,” Mikey said with a grin as he wiggled his eyebrows at Scottie.

She shook her head. “I should let her stab you, too. Just for good measure,” she teased with a smile as the signal to start the race rang loud over the crowd.

And we were off on a 5k run with my team, my girl, and somewhere around here, my daughter.

Loving chatter filled the emptiness around me as I did up the last button on my shirt.

Conversation that involved every person I held near and dear to my heart.

I imagined Scottie leaning back against Mikey on the couch, as Bernie’s loud cackle was joined by Kat’s gentle smile and a loving roll of her eyes.

She and Jane had met us at the finish line, surprising both Bernie and Griffin.

Jane explained that their kids were with her mom, and they could use this time as a spontaneous little weekend getaway.

Here they were, my team with my parents and Mawmaw, Colette, my daughter, and yes, even Colette’s parents, all squished into the tiny front room of my house.

The scent of the crawfish boil started in the back wafted in through the open bedroom window as I grabbed the tie from the top of the dresser.

But it wasn’t calmness or safety that filled my heart.

Dread sat at the tip of my tongue, hanging on like a bait to a hook.

I wanted to bite it back, swallow it, ignore it, and just enjoy this moment as was intended, but I knew too much to be able to truly let it go.

Knowledge was a blessing and a curse, though right now, the good part of it seemed a faint light at the end of a long tunnel I was barreling down.

A knock rapped against the wooden frame of the bedroom door.

“Yeah, come in,” I grunted as I slung the tie around my neck. The hinges creaked as the door opened, and I glanced up from the emerald green fabric. A masquerade of relief settled on my shoulders as Colette quietly entered and closed the door behind her.

The edges of her eyes crinkled as her lips lifted into a bright smile. “I dreamed of a day like this, you know,” she whispered and stopped in front of me.

“I’m just sorry it took so damn long,” I replied as she lifted her hands and slid them down either side of the tie. Her eyes studied the fabric and slowly began knotting the two ends together as if she’d practiced for this very moment.

“Hmmm,” she mumbled, her attention stolen by the slick tie.

Disbelief slid into every darkened corner of my mind. She had no idea what I’d done with my life. She had no idea how much destruction and death I’d brought, yet here she was, unafraid of me.

“I didn’t purposefully not tell you about my career,” I blurted out as she tightened the tie and pushed it up against my throat.

Her lips lifted into a smile as her hand slid gently down my chest, smoothing out the finishing touch to my suit. “I know. The moment Bernie said that you guys were special ops dudes, SEALs to be exact, I understood.”

My brows furrowed as her gaze finally met mine. “You did?”

She giggled quietly and dropped her hands. “You are not the type to brag about anything. Your job never really came up, and watching how adorably awkward, though successful, your arrival was, it made sense.”

“Awkward?” I groaned and tipped my head back.

She giggled again. “It was perfect. You guys all showed up like some action heroes in a movie, and then it became beautifully hilarious. But your daughter hasn’t stopped talking about it since, and Becca certainly slunk away like a scared bully.”

I shook my head and glanced at the dress shoes on my feet. “I just wanted to help Azelie.”

“And you did. Now, get out there. She said she’s about finished with her makeup, so I need to help her with her dress.” Colette sighed and stepped away from me.

I met her gaze as it shifted from one of admiration to almost desperation. Her eyes widened, and the lines deepened in her face. It was an almost innocent fear that tensed her entire body up.

And while what I should have felt was something less calming, maybe anger or rage, it filled me with the control that came before every mission. I placed my palms against her cheeks and lifted her chin. “I’ve got her. Okay? Everything will be fine, I promise.”

She chewed on her bottom lip and nodded slowly. With a stiff swallow, she inhaled deeply and patted the outside of her thigh. “Thank you for the gift. Mikey’s been giving me tips,” she quietly said.

“They’re idiots, but trust them. They’ve kept me alive all these years,” I replied with a smile.

Her brows stitched together, forming two red lines between them. “What are you talking about?”

Slowly, I let my hands drop from her face and brushed a curl behind her ear. “Cher,” I admonished, and she rolled her eyes.

“Right, sorry. I think I’m still processing the fact that you’ve literally been in life-or-death situations.

Frequently. And slightly by your own choice, too.

You know what, I should get upset that you faked being hurt when I stabbed you.

” She suddenly shoved her hands on her hips as I threw my head back and laughed.

“I love you. Go help our daughter get in her dress. I’ve got a date to go on.” I winked, adjusted my tie, and quickly pecked her lips.

She giggled as I walked out of the room, directly into whoops, hollering, and whistles that I’d expected from those dumbasses who had never seen me in a suit until now.