Page 23 of What I Should Have Felt (Anchors and Eagles #4)

FORD

I tightened the grip on my phone and slid to the edge of the couch, bracing my elbows against my knees. Part of me still felt like a failure and an idiot for assuming that O’Connor wouldn’t attack at home. I’d seen worse, so why hadn’t I thought that this man could be just as horrible?

And why hadn’t he attacked here at the same time?

A coordinated attack would’ve been the smartest thing, except for the fact that I knew he was trying to send a message.

So, maybe having everyone in one place would keep him from attacking.

I doubt he would kill all of us at once.

Then there would be no way he would fucking get what he wanted: the restaurants.

Right?

Griffin and Dom had both told me not to second-guess my instincts, but after showing up to men breaking into Colette’s home, I’d lost all trust in my gut .

“FUCK!” I shouted, jumped to my feet, and spun around, ready to throw a fist at the wall. And stopped just before my knuckles slammed into plaster.

Right where my military portrait stared back at me.

Dropping my cellphone on my temporary bed, I studied the picture as the freshly bandaged wound on my trap sent a pulse of ache through my muscles.

The photo mocked me. What kind of man would let everything happen that had?

What kind of man ran away all because his girl’s parents threatened to kill him?

Would they really have? I mean, they weren’t that crazy.

A normal, rational person wouldn’t just up and murder someone for being in love with their daughter, right?

I grabbed the picture frame and ripped it off the wall.

Nobody needed to see this, and luckily, in the hustle and bustle of ushering everyone to their respective rooms, nobody had noticed it.

Squatting, I slid it underneath the couch.

Out of sight. Out of mind. All that was left on that wall were old photos of the boy I’d been, because it seemed I still hadn’t become a different man.

“You okay?” a quiet voice asked.

Adrenaline shot through me, and I whipped my gaze to the left.

Colette.

“Yeah, sorry if I woke you,” I mumbled.

She tipped her head, her unruly curls frizzy and unkempt.

I couldn’t help but smile, just a little, at the sight.

Light danced off her blue silk pajamas as she pushed off the wall and quietly walked toward me.

Her eyes briefly slid down my body, and it was at that moment I realized I had no shirt on.

“Oh, shit,” I muttered and spun around, looking for the T-shirt I had grabbed to go with my plaid pajama pants when I’d changed for bed.

“It’s fine, Ford. Nothing I haven’t seen before,” she teased. I looked back at her as she plopped down on the couch. “Have you slept at all? It’s nearly six in the morning.” She patted the cushion beside her.

“I’ve gone much longer than twenty-four hours without sleep, Cher. I had the security system overnighted, so it should be good to go by tomorrow. Then I can sleep,” I replied and cautiously sat down next to her.

She rocked toward me as the cushion sank and bumped against my shoulder. “I have so many questions.” She giggled and pressed her palm against my arm, clearly ready to push herself upright, but paused.

I stared at her slender fingers that lingered against my skin.

Softer than mine still, but not baby smooth as they once had been.

So much life had passed between us. Time that I wished I could get back, but knew I never would.

Maybe this wasn’t about trying to make up for all the shit I missed, all the damage I’d caused, but this was time for something new. A new beginning.

Except there were broken secrets still ripping at the thin cord stretched between us.

“Ask,” I said as goosebumps rose upon my skin.

Her brows stitched together while her green eyes remained trained on her hand against my arm. Slowly, I raised my own and placed a palm against her touch. “Ask me. Anything. ”

She sucked in a massive breath and flexed her fingers beneath mine.

“I don’t even know where to begin. How about what did you mean by ‘I’ll come clean to her,’ or why you’ve stayed up for longer than twenty-four hours before, unless it was for some stupid shit, like a frat party?

Or how about where you’re getting the money for security systems?

Or if you’re gonna call the cops to help me file a report?

” Her eyes snapped to mine as mist filmed her sparkling gaze.

Every line in her face deepened as her bottom lip trembled.

“Or…where you’ve been for this past week? ”

“Well, two of those questions have a very easy answer: my job,” I gently replied, sliding my fingers between hers.

“So, no frat party, just work. As for calling the cops, yeah, I already did, and they said they’ll send a deputy to talk to you in the morning.

But I know nothing other than a file will come from it, because they’re paid hush money by O’Connor.

At least there’s a paper trail for whenever the state police get here with their investigation, or we can finally nail this fucker.

As for this past week, I’ve been home or—”

“Or breaking into my room to give me flowers? Like some stalker,” she inserted.

I cautiously dropped her hand from mine and shifted away half an inch, breaking our contact. “You have no proof of that.” I narrowed my eyes.

“Except you’re the only one who knows that spider lilies are my favorite. And why they’re my favorite,” she quipped.

I kept my face void of any expression. “Still doesn’t prove anything. As for this past week, I figured your parents wouldn’t be too happy if I installed security cameras for them at their restaurant, so I snuck in during the night and then stayed home monitoring them during the day. ”

A half-truth. Or a partial lie, but either way, I didn’t think now was the time to dump a shitload of baggage on her or drop the bomb that I knew Azelie was mine.

Plus, I knew at some point, Colette would ask why I didn’t call a different police station or go to some higher-up authority.

The thing was, I already had. But I knew how the government worked, and the diplomatic response of “thanks for the tip, we’ll look into it” meant “they’ll get around to an investigation when they can.

” That meant we were on our own out here until they had the time.

Especially since there was not much more than my phone call as evidence.

I couldn’t exactly report that O’Connor sent men to assault Azelie since I technically wasn’t there.

And what could Colette or Azelie say, or the rest of the LeBlancs, since they’d sound crazy reporting the Rougarou was their savior.

Which is also why the break-in at my parents’ restaurant had been reported as just that.

It’s not like I could say anything about my involvement in stopping them when bodies were a result, as I wasn’t exactly walking on the right side of the law either.

How much could I claim was self-defense in the end?

But all of that was a worry for another day, another time. I needed to focus on Colette.

“I should’ve also added a security system to your house and mine, but I didn’t think that fucker would…

” I curled my fingers into the palm of my hands and dug in tightly.

“I didn’t think he’d stoop as low as he did to come after either of us in our own home.

I mean, this is over some fucking business, not— ”

I stopped talking and widened my eyes. Maybe this was more personal than just some restaurant feud. Though I’d seen men do worse for less, so no, it couldn’t be that. I shook that thought away.

“Azelie’s sleeping in my parents’ room. She said it was weird to be in the dude’s room, who had the hots for me,” Colette said.

And I nearly choked on my spit.

Spluttering and coughing, I leaned forward as she pounded my back. “She said what?” I gasped.

Colette giggled as she let her hand linger against my skin.

Slowly, her fingers trickled along the tattoos of her drawings upon my back, and for whatever reason, she didn’t touch or mention the bandage.

“Why does that shock you so much? It’s not like you’ve been discreet about your feelings for me. ”

“’Cause that means someone other than you knows,” I replied. Goosebumps prickled upon my skin as her fingers sank lower on my back.

“Is that such a problem?” she whispered.

A chill shivered up my spine. Such a sharp contrast to the heat rising from beneath her touch as she scooted a little closer to me.

“Well, your parents and my parents are just two of the issues I can immediately think of.” I closed my eyes and focused on her fingers. So gentle and warm. So inviting.

“We’re both adults now, and you’re still afraid of your parents?” she asked.

“Aren’t you?” I wasn’t actually afraid of mine, or hers anymore. I owed mine respect, yes, but no, I wasn’t afraid of them. In fact, every hesitation was derived from the fact that they deserved my respect, as well as a chance for me to earn their forgiveness.

She inhaled deeply and sat up straight, removing her hand from my back. Cold swept in, replacing the intoxicating touch of her skin against mine. “Should I be?”

I leaned back against the couch and slid my gaze to her.

Such trusting innocence stared back at me, so blatant and so unusual that I nearly lost my composure as the shock darted through me.

The thing was, I couldn’t answer that honestly because I wasn’t sure how serious her parents had been with the threat that originally forced me out of town.

Would they follow through with murder in order to keep us apart all these years later?

“You know, with everything that happened last night and so late, I doubt anyone will be awake any time soon,” she added quietly, her gaze unwavering from mine. “So, you know, it’s just us two for a while.”