Page 36 of What I Should Have Felt (Anchors and Eagles #4)

COLETTE

A zelie had decided to keep things quiet about Ford being her dad with this idea of making some major reveal at the fundraiser run or dance this weekend.

But she had stuck really close to him every moment she could.

Which I had a love and hate relationship with because I wasn’t quite sure where Ford and I stood on a romantic level, and we’d had zero moments alone.

Until now. Until somehow that big oaf managed to weasel his way into him and me driving together after sending our parents ahead for their booths by saying he didn’t want to risk his motorcycle getting hit in such a crowded parking lot.

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, and my knuckles turned another shade of white as I drove us toward the school for the festival that had begun.

Not a word passed between us, mostly because I had no idea what to say.

After everything came out, and all this time where we simply crossed paths, I —

“I give it three, four days tops,” Ford said, breaking the silence. He leaned back against the seat and twisted his ball cap around backwards. Flames roared hot in my stomach at such a simple movement by him. No. No. Stop. This was the most inappropriate moment to become aroused.

Ford spread his legs a little wider, and the seams on his joggers strained with the movement.

Stop, please , I quietly begged in my mind.

Why was all of that so hot? So fucking attractive.

This was not the time nor place to start thinking about how sexy he’d look butt-ass naked in bed with me.

But the thought of him sweaty, crawling between my legs, and burying himself inside me created a slick pool of heat within my body.

“For what?” I gasped, shaking out of those thoughts. “For O’Connor to attack us again?”

He smiled to himself and closed his eyes. “Nah. For us to fuck.”

“WHAT THE HELL, FORD?” My eyes widened. There was no way he read my mind, had he? And worse, now I was definitely thinking about that. Every desirable but dirty thing I wanted him to do to me flashed like a movie, clear as day in my head.

“Oh, my bad. For us to have sex. Sleep together. Make love.” He raised a brow and flopped his head toward me. “Which would you like to call it?”

“None.” I pursed my lips as he chuckled and looked back out the front window. “How is this appropriate? It’s only been a couple days since everything came to light, don’t you think we should allow a little bit of time to pass?”

“That is exactly why it’s the appropriate time. We don’t have to sneak around, hide, or any of that shit anymore. I can be open and upfront with exactly how I feel about you. Well, after Saturday because the entire fucking town will know by then, too,” he explained.

He wasn’t entirely wrong. The logic was sound, and it was honestly something I wanted. But how insane would I sound accepting this with ease after all of these years? The idea of dating Ford, like a normal couple out in the open, outweighed that inkling with a heartbeat.

“You’ve become quite bold,” I said with a smile.

A smirk filtered on his face. “I didn’t come back just to stop all of this shit with O’Connor, you know that right? It was a nice excuse, but I came back for you, no matter how much of an ass that made me because it was time for closure. I couldn’t stay away any longer.”

I pulled my brows together and turned into the packed high school parking lot. “Don’t ask me to tell you what I would’ve done if Liam…”

His smirk softened, and his eyes met mine. “I would never, baby.”

“I’m sorry I’m not just already jumping into things with you,” I added quietly, looked away, and found one of the last parking spots available.

“Ah, now I get why you’ve had us avoiding both of our parents. Not ready to take the questions and heat from them, I see,” he teased, and then something shifted in his expression as his gaze lingered on me, but I refused to turn his way.

“Look at me, please,” he tenderly asked as I put my vehicle into park.

Slowly, I glanced at him. Sitting upright in the seat, he faced me with adoration on his face.

“I will never ask you to apologize for moving on. I will never ask you to compare me to Liam or expect you to choose between us. Ever. You loved him. You lived a life without me, and that is something to celebrate and cherish. I’m just grateful for a second chance at seeing what could happen between us.

Without some stupid shitty rivalry that never really made sense anyway. ”

My heart fluttered in my chest like a bird’s feather in the breeze on a cool autumn day.

“You also got sappy,” I quipped, ignoring the fact that he had called me out on the “avoiding both of our parents” shit.

That was at my request and very much for the reason he stated, plus I wasn’t keen on forgiving mine for everything they’d done.

They’d altered the course of not just my life, but my daughter’s and the man I once loved and now loved again.

He grinned and twisted in his seat. “Yeah, I probably did.”

“I like it. This…This you.” I gestured up and down his body as he pushed open the door. “But that’s not me agreeing to us being anything yet.”

He didn’t turn toward me or say anything in response, though he briefly paused, then finally exited the car. At least I could give him that much. I was so grateful for his understanding and his patience. And for how forward he was being with me.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I quickly dug it out as I turned the engine off. A message from Azelie stating where she was flashed on my screen. Time to go find our daughter.

Once I was out of the car, Ford pushed my door closed, having quickly dashed around the front to meet me, and wiggled his brows.

I clicked the lock button on my key fob and glared at him.

“You can’t do that shit here. Not yet. Not until after the father/daughter dance, and you know it,” I chastised and threw my hands on my hips.

“Or what?” He narrowed his eyes in a flirtatious glare .

“Or I’ll stab you. Again.”

“You’ve already tried that and failed.”

“Not the first time.” I flicked the tip of my braid over my shoulder and strutted past him.

“Have you ever considered that I let that happen?” His shadow fell over my body as he silently jogged up beside me.

“Don’t lie to yourself; it’s not a good look.” I glanced up at him and caught a smirk on his face. He totally knew I was right. “Oh, by the way, you know you can’t interfere with anything going on between Cory and Becca and Azelie, right?”

His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, and the lines deepened on his face. “Yeah, I know.”

“I hate it too, Ford, but Azelie has to handle this on her own,” I quietly added as we wandered toward the high school field that wasn’t just an empty, grassy patch anymore.

We weaved through vehicles that overflowed the parking lot and walked closer to the hustle and bustle of the chattering crowd.

Faint music bumped on speakers behind the conversation that danced on the breeze louder than a buzz saw.

The scent of every style of Cajun food permeated the atmosphere, and I was grateful that we managed to keep our parents’ booths on opposite ends of what looked more like a town fair and local festival than a high school fundraiser.

News had carried fast, and every high school sports team and club had become involved.

A teachers versus students game of most of the sports was scheduled throughout the day, starting with tennis.

Football was right before the dance and had sold the most tickets—not surprising since everyone and their dog grew up watching Friday night football .

I paused right before we passed between the first row of canvas tents and grabbed Ford’s arm.

A quiet whimper brushed past his lips, and every muscle in me stiffened.

Whatever I’d been about to say to him fled my mind as his skin beneath my hand turned warm.

My touch, something so simple, had elicited an involuntary and sensual sound from him.

My eyes cautiously raised to his face, where his gaze remained locked on my hand that still held onto his arm.

His chest heaved as everything in my body softened.

It no longer mattered what I was going to say, as words weren’t needed.

Not as we stood here, sheltered from the crowd by the canvas tents, wrapped up in a moment that only existed between him and me.

A faint whiff of regret simmered within my soul as all the cruelty that I’d given to him swam through my memories. Yet, here he was, whimpering at my nonchalant touch. What more could a girl ask for?

Goosebumps prickled upon his skin, and the ink upon his arm seemed to come alive, dancing with the ripple effect.

It was beautiful, and a reminder that despite everything, he’d never given up hope that one day, he’d have me.

That one day, he’d be able to call me his.

He’d let me go, given me a chance to live my life while spending his with a broken heart as I loved someone new.

Secrets and lies had fueled the path that we once tread, but they also brought us back together.

Freedom whispered upon the breeze. A forward movement with no baggage, no past pain, and it was as if Liam rested his hand upon mine, then he let me go.

That fear that held me so tightly wrapped in armor wrestled away as I opened my heart to the love that Ford offered me.

All hesitation was gone. Everything that had fractured us all those years ago was no longer a part of this current chapter in our story.

Everything from here on out was new, fresh, and unburdened from the pain of others’ doing—and some of our own.

“Just… I’ll see you this evening,” I whispered and peeled my hand from his skin.

He slowly nodded, the lines on his forehead deepening as a chill swept beneath my palm. “Do you trust me?” he suddenly asked quietly.

Stitching my brows together, I tipped my head. “Yes, of course. Why?”

His hands balled up into fists as silence briefly swept between us. The fates seemed to shift with a simple question that came from nowhere, yet held unexplainable weight.

“Don’t get into too much trouble,” he replied with a wink and then silently slipped between the two nearest tents and faded into the passing crowd.

I remained frozen in place for half a second longer, wondering why he asked that and then didn’t provide me with an actual answer.

But, when no answer whispered in my head, eventually my feet carried me after the ghost of Ford’s figure.

I searched every corner of my mind but failed to come up with any reasoning as to why he’d ask that out of nowhere.

Unless he had something stupid planned at some point?

But Ford wasn’t stupid. He was anything but that.

The scent of funnel cakes and typical fair foods wafted into the air, melding with the chattering crowds that pushed past me, eager to see what freebies might be offered at the next booth.

Children laughed, bubbles danced into the atmosphere as frequently as excited shrieks of groups reuniting with each other.

As my gaze scanned the passing booths, I caught sight of a waving hand paired with bright red curls at the far end of the row I wandered down.

“Mom!” Azelie shouted and jogged over toward me.

She slung an arm around my waist; her grin stretched from ear to ear and didn’t disappear as she guided me around the trodden grass.

Sweat coated my lower back, making my chambray shirt stick to my skin, but I didn’t mind.

Her excitement as she explained what different booths were and how her idea had helped with all of this kept me going.

As we rounded another corner, cheering grew louder and louder, as if someone were competing for something. Azelie’s brows inched together, and she left my side, quickening her pace just enough to weave through the forming crowd before I reached the edge.

Where I immediately stopped walking. My feet slunk into the ground, as if lodged into muck as sticky and heavy as wet concrete hardening by the second. Azelie was visible from here, even with the masses forming a half circle around the JROTC’s booth, as the curls on her head bobbed with every step.

But it wasn’t my daughter and the sun’s heat that had me sweating; it was the man standing at the base of one of the pull-up bars with his arms crossed over his chest. Two recruiters from the Army stood on either side of the stand, leading the crowd in the chant to get Ford to step up.

His cheeks were bright red as he shook his head, slicing a glare toward Turk, who smirked in the shade of the canvas tent.

Now, that made sense. Ford would never voluntarily do something in the spotlight like that, but Turk… Turk would volunteer Ford for it, all just to humiliate him, knowing how much Ford preferred to not be the center of attention.

His gaze flickered across the crowd, briefly lingering on something in shadows on the outskirts, then latched onto Azelie, who now stood in the front of the crowd.

His eyelids crunched over his eyes, and then he turned and effortlessly latched onto the pull-up bar.

With ease, he began pumping out rep after rep as the cheers escalated in both vigor and volume.

I smiled to myself as Azelie began jumping up and down and Cory pushed his way to stand beside her.

I knew then that I’d lost her to a boy for the rest of the day.

But it was okay, because my thoughts were swamped with the man who seemed to barely have broken a sweat doing pull-ups.

Not to show off, but because his daughter was watching.

And, maybe to show off. If only a little. Which I was totally okay with. The heat dancing upon my skin had nothing to do with the blazing sun overhead and everything to do with each contraction of his muscles beneath his T-shirt.

Shit. I had it bad.

Pursing my lips, I exhaled heavily and shook my head. Oh, the irony. A full circle had been drawn in the sand. It seemed as though the very place that had once seen our love story, now experienced it again.

With a final glance at the man, I quietly disappeared from the edge of the circle, knowing I wouldn’t be able to speak to him or be with him again until after his parents closed their booth and brought him home.

Where I’d be waiting.