Page 35 of What I Should Have Felt (Anchors and Eagles #4)

FORD

T he front door clicked shut, and footsteps padded across the living room.

Azelie’s innocent face appeared around the corner, and she stopped by Mawmaw.

“Grammy, did you just say that Ford is my…my dad?” she asked again, but instead of seeking her grandparents or her mom for comfort, she glanced up at my mawmaw.

“Azelie, baby. There’s a lot that—”

“Just stop, Mom,” Colette quickly inserted.

“The charade is up. All these lies and secrets were your fault. I get that your intentions were to protect me, but the one person I never needed protection from was Ford. Apparently, I needed protection from you.” She shoved her hands on her hips.

“And you, Dad. You what? Just went along with it?”

“She’s my wife, honeybee,” her dad muttered. And part of me could respect that. Not a large part of me, because he still absolutely destroyed his daughter, but still .

Colette quickly swiped the tears from her cheeks and shook her head.

“The Thibodeauxs offered us their home after we were attacked. Yes, over the years, there’ve been some petty things that happened between our families because of the restaurant rivalry, but when it mattered most, they have always been there for us.

And you made a mockery of that.” Colette briefly closed her eyes.

“Nobody is answering my question,” Azelie desperately asked again and stepped into my mawmaw’s side. Green eyes darted my way, as if silently asking me to tell her the truth.

I wasn’t even sure what to say or how to break this ice. A simple yes didn’t seem efficient in this situation, but I wanted nothing more than to finally start building something with her. “I will never try to replace Liam, Azelie. But, yes, I am,” I finally managed to choke out.

Her eyes widened as my mawmaw squeezed her shoulder, and then a grin spread on her face.

“I KNEW IT!” she squealed and jumped up and down.

“The moment I saw that you had the same eyes as me, I just knew it. Then I also saw your mom, and I was like, holy cow, there’s no way.

Besides, my face is much more like yours. ”

“Your great-grandpa had heterochromia too,” I added. Everything in me begged to run over and scoop my little girl up in my arms. To properly hold my daughter for the first time in my life, but I remained frozen in place as a smidge of anger boiled within the excitement.

I sliced a glare at Colette’s parents. “Because of you, I missed it all. Colette’s pregnancy, the birth.

I missed out on taking care of Colette during all of it and meeting my daughter as a baby.

” I took a menacing step forward as my body shook with rage.

“I missed her first steps, her first words, her first smile. I missed fifteen fucking years of a life with two of the most incredible women that exist on this planet.” Hot tears rushed down my cheeks.

I’d cried four times in my entire life before this—when I was forced to leave, when I’d returned four years later, when I finally got to hug my mama, and when Duncan had died.

This cry was different.

Burdened and heavy. There was a sickness that came with these tears.

The stain on my soul for all of the blackened death I’d delivered compared little to this anguish.

“Fifteen f-f-fucking years,” I stammered as some spit spewed from my lips.

“I never thought I’d ever have the chance at-at-at a family let alone—”

And Colette threw her arms around me. No amount of strength willed my limbs to move as every single moment that I had been deprived of seethed through my body.

I wanted to kill them, but at the same time, I knew I ultimately shouldn’t.

Azelie had also missed out on fifteen years of a family, and I wouldn’t be the person to take two members of that small group away.

“How’d you explain this away with all of her cousins and aunts and uncles?” I finally asked Colette’s parents while she kept her arms around me. My breathing began to slow as I found a new lock to cage this excruciating rage up with.

“Liam.” Her mom sheepishly shrugged her shoulders.

“I’ve had a dad who wanted me this entire time,” Azelie blurted out, ignoring what her grandma said .

I snapped my gaze to that girl to find tears down her cheeks as well. But not tears of anger or sorrow, ones of excitement as she bounced from foot to foot. “I knew you had feelings for my mom, too,” she quickly added.

Colette chuckled against my body and slowly peeled away as I finally managed to raise a hand and weave my fingers into her hair.

I gave Azelie a cautious smile and tipped my head.

“I know this is short notice, and comes after a major bomb has dropped, but uh…” I cleared my throat as nerves trickled in my veins.

“Uh, would you do me the honor of being my date to the father/daughter dance on Saturday? I’m a terrible dancer, you can ask your mom.

And I’ve never done this whole ‘dad’ thing, so I might be awkward and clumsy and—”

“Yes!” she squealed and grabbed my mawmaw. “I gotta go dress shopping! I’m gonna call Macy!”

“Wait!” Colette quickly said, and Azelie slid her hand into her pocket. “You’re taking this…very well. Are you sure you’re okay? Maybe we could talk about this in private? The three of us, and fill you in on what you missed before you call Macy.”

Azelie nodded slowly. “All right. But can we do that right now? This is a small town, and the dance is in three days.” She skipped away from my mawmaw and pushed through her grandparents. “I’ve never been asked to a dance before,” she added with glee and disappeared into the bedroom behind us.

I glanced at Colette’s parents as Colette slipped around me to follow Azelie.

“I have no desire to ruin your relationship with Azelie or Colette. So, how you go about repairing shit with your daughter and granddaughter is on you because I won’t lie for you ever again.

What I will do is protect those two, from anyone.

Even people who pretend to be family. Even you.

Oh, and Colette and I will tell my parents about all of this, so I suggest maybe you head to your restaurant like how they’ve been there this entire time, and stay there until my parents have closed and come home. ”

And without another lingering second, I disappeared into the bedroom after Colette and Azelie.

She had a lot of questions. All of us did, and things were a little awkward at first, but then the wings of freedom lifted every burden that had separated us.

Except for the anger that now seemed to boil within both Colette and Azelie.

They were angry at her parents, at the two people who robbed all three of us of something priceless.

Then there was the matter of where I stood on a personal and intimate level with Colette—a shit load of “who the hell knows.” But at least regarding to Azelie, we were on the same page.

Which left me terrified. Colette and Azelie disappeared to go dress shopping for Saturday, as I remained sitting on my bed. Time spiraled in such a way that made it difficult to decipher the world around me. I was a dad. Azelie was my daughter.

After all this time, Colette hadn’t called me because she thought I’d left with some fucking woman who I apparently cheated on her with.

There had never been another woman and never would be.

Lies and secrets and threats created by a man and woman who were supposed to protect their daughter and granddaughter destroyed fifteen years of a family.

I wasn’t entirely innocent, I knew that.

If I’d reached out or something, maybe things would’ve been different.

But with everything in the open, it felt like a clean slate for a second chance with Colette.

Not as some co-parent, but as her lover and friend.

As something more than just an acquaintance.

She hadn’t seemed mad that I’d known for a bit before finally telling her.

But it still made me wonder if she would retreat into that stubborn and hard space to keep me at a distance.

Even though I’d practically confessed that I was in love with her, she hadn’t acknowledged it or said anything in return.

And we’d done some…stuff before all of this came out, so I couldn’t be upset if she wasn’t exactly open to me.

There could be some guilt because I’d made moves on her while keeping a secret.

But she also kept it a secret from me. There had been plenty of opportunities to tell me that Azelie was my daughter.

On the basis of no more secrets, I decided I’d let all of those questions go.

And start from scratch. Time to woo that incredible woman again.

This was going to be fun, and excitement coursed through me as I realized I could flirt in an entirely new way without any reservations.

Like how I had when she and I texted last Tuesday night.

In fact, she seemed rather inviting of that kind of…desire and intimacy.

This would be fun, and I no longer had to hide the fact that I was going to have Colette, no matter what.

The sadistic side of me that I picked up from spending way too much fucking time with Bernie actually reveled in the idea of rubbing it in her parents’ faces.

They were in for a show and treat because I would not hold back or sneak around.

No, if they so much as touched a hair on her fucking head, they’d find themselves without a fingertip. At least .

“Little bear? Are you all right?” My mama’s voice danced into the room with a knock on the wide-open door.

Blinking to bring moisture back to my dry eyes, I squinted through the darkness. Damn. The sun was down, and my parents were back from the restaurant.

“Your dad and I were surprised you didn’t come in to help tonight,” she continued and flicked the light on.

“Shit, I’m sorry Mama. I hadn’t even realized the time,” I answered and patted the bed beside me. “I’ve got something I need to talk to you about. And Pops.”

She shouted for my dad, and once he was in the room, I explained everything about Colette, Azelie, and me.

Neither of them moved, nor showed any expression.

At first.

And then they shared a glance, and a smile crept upon my mom’s face. Suddenly, both of my parents tackled me into a big hug. “We’re grandparents! I want to be Mawmaw to Azelie like Mawmaw is to you!” my mama cried out.

“I get to be Pawpaw!” my dad exclaimed and held me tighter.

“You’re not—you’re not mad?” I stammered.

Both of them shook their heads. “It makes so much sense, little bear,” my mom quietly said.

“My son is a dad. My son is a dad,” my dad kept repeating.

“Oh, and one more thing,” I said as reality smacked into me like an RPG to a cement wall.

“What’s that?” Mama asked .

“I just realized that they still don’t know what I do for a job. It kinda never came up, and I was way too focused on the whole ‘I’m a dad’ thing that it slipped my mind, and I haven’t exactly mentioned it.”

My papa cursed under his breath in that Cajun-French I loved while my mama clicked her tongue. “I thought you said you were tired of secrets,” she admonished.

“I am. It wasn’t like it was meant to be a secret, but can I turn it into a surprise that I need your help with?” I continued, and my parents peeled away from me with a raised brow.

“You’ve already got a plan cooking, don’t you,” my pops began.

I nodded as my mom grinned widely. “What do you need from us?”