Page 29 of Vows of a Mobster

“Thank you. What would I do without you two and my Emma?” she commented softly and I squeezed her hand. I felt the exact same way about all of them. “Once I found out who he was, it could never be. He’s… umm, he’s Irish.”

I looked at her confused. I glanced at Daphne and she clearly understood but I was still missing the point. “I don’t understand.”

“My family would never approve,” she explained.

“But why?”

“Well, because of our family’s connection to the Italian… hmmm, organization. And he is connected to Irish organization.”

“Oh.”

We sat there, each one of us staring into space. I struggled to understand that kind of world and those kinds of rules. I knew Marissa would never turn her back on her family. She was totally badass and could be scary when protecting the ones she loved. She said it was a product of the way she grew up. It was weird how hers, Daphne’s, and my world intermingled. If our families were dictating our friends, we would have never crossed paths. Yet, here we were, always having each other’s back.

“I tried to google Kyle,” I whispered low, words bursting out of me.

Both their eyes snapped to me. “Whatever for?” Daphne asked in shock.

“I wanted to find out about his family,” I explained softly. “Maybe do a background check on them, but if push comes to shove, I would be willing to beg them to undergo tests. My gut feeling is telling me they would be a match.”

“Have you heard back?” Marissa asked, referring to the blood results.

“Yes. None of you are a match.”

“I hate to even bring this up,” Daphne started reluctantly, “but have you tried your mother.”

I swallowed hard, the bitter taste of that conversation still on my tongue. “Yes, I did. She refused.”

Two heartbeats of silence and then Marissa spat out, “I hate that woman and I’ve never even met her.”

“She’s not even worth the hate,” I told her. “Anyhow, going back to Kyle. I am ashamed to admit this, but I don’t even know if he was attending Columbia. I tried searching the list of graduates for our year and going back five years but couldn’t find him at all. And you wouldn’t believe how many Kyle Sullivans there were when I googled the name. It would take me a lifetime to go through them all.”

“Maybe I could ask my cousin to help?” Marissa suggested hesitantly. “He has a guy that always finds out stuff.”

“Absolutely not,” I objected. “The only reason I brought it up is to ask if you remember his middle name, or anything. Did he even go to Columbia?”

“I really have no clue,” Marissa responded. “I assumed he did since he was always on campus but I never had a single class with him. Besides, you know how much Daphne and I skipped classes.”

I rolled my eyes, although I smiled fondly thinking back to those days. They were so much simpler compared to today.

“Yes, I remember. That’s why you needed a tutor.”

“Yep,” she agreed. “You were the geek and successful prima ballerina. And we were two troublemakers partying it up all the time. Do you wonder how we ended up being such good friends, against all odds?”

“Sometimes,” I admitted. “It is weird how it all ended up working out. Although, I confess there are days I struggle going from graduating top of my class and being a successful prima ballerina to being a flimsy secretary to Marcus, writing smut, and teaching ballet class to children. Emma and you two are the only things that worked out.”

I longed for that feeling of ecstasy and happiness when I performed. Secretly I hoped the ballet director would call me again to cover for another performance. That sensation when I performed was addictive and overwhelmed all my senses in the best way possible.

“Don’t say that,” Daphne objected. “Our life has barely started.”

I took a deep breath. “Honestly, some days it feels like my life has passed me by.”

“What’s with you?” Marissa grumbled low. All three of us glanced at Emma who was still completely lost in the movie. If I had to guess, there were another fifteen minutes left.

Marissa was right, I was dwelling in self-pity. Twenties were supposed to be my best years and they have turned out everything but. Maybe I was lonely. Daphne and Marissa could always go back to their families and find comfort there. My mother couldn’t even spare a blood test to check whether she can help her granddaughter. I missed my grandmother, my dad and my stepdad.

But my attitude wouldn’t make it any better.

“Forget I said that,” I muttered softly. “I guess a case of self-pity came over me.”