Page 123 of Vows of a Mobster

“Mar, what’s the matter?” He took my chin and brought his forehead against mine. “Don’t cry. If I can help, I will. I promise.”

I took a shaky breath, and I sent a silent prayer up to the heavens.

“I have a friend,” I started, my voice slightly trembling. “Her daughter is sick. Really sick.” He listened, his body tense but he remained quiet. “Her treatments started today. It was her first one, and I don’t think she’ll make it alive through all of them. You should have seen her, she is so small and the way-”

My voice broke and I cut myself off, unable to continue.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He wiped a lone tear that escaped, rolling down my cheek.

“Emma won’t survive this round of chemo. She needs a bone marrow transplant. My friend wasn’t a match, although she is her mother. I tested for it; Daphne did too. Her doctor is taking random donors but so far nothing.” I paused, fear gripping me. “I’ve known her since birth. I was in the delivery room when she was born. It will break my best friend if she loses her. It will break me too.”

“Do you need money for doctor bills?” I shook my head.

I can’t believe I’m about to do this.

“Emma’s father doesn’t want anything to do with her. But he was Irish. This is probably far-fetched but I was going to ask,” I swallowed a big lump in my throat. “If you would consider getting tested to see if you are a match. You are the only Irish person I know.”

I couldn’t believe I said it. I held his gaze, while I shook on the inside but this was different from the pleasure he gave me earlier. This was fear, a dreadful and cold fear.

“If I had anyone else to ask-” I whispered low, gripping his shirt. “She’s only four. If she doesn’t survive this, I’ll lose my best friend too.”

“Oh, Marissa,” his voice was a hoarse whisper. “You didn’t have to sleep with me to ask that.”

A heavy exhale left my lips. “Declan, I know we can never be. I didn’t know that seven years ago, but I know it now. Still, it doesn’t erase the fact that I want you.” His gaze told me he didn’t believe me. “It’s true. I never wanted another man the way I want you. No matter how much I told myself it was stupid. When I heard who you were, it would have been suicide for both of us to continue it. Yes, I was hurt you weren’t the one to tell me, but then I didn’t exactly ask for all your information that night we met. And I didn’t tell you my full name. But hope kind of lingered, which was stupid. Till the day you beat Giovanni.” The image of my brother’s beaten face flashed in my mind, guilt eating me. “And I still want you. Now tell me what a horrible person that makes me.”

“Marissa-” I knew he’d try to explain but there was nothing to explain. He couldn’t even fathom how deep Brianna, Daphne, and I were in this shit.

“Please don’t even try to explain, Declan,” I cut him off. “Just tell me yes or no.”

“When and where?”

“W-what?” I stuttered in disbelief.

“Tell me when you want me to get tested to see if I am a match and where,” he said firmly.

This time I started crying. All the stress of the day burst out of me at once. I buried my head into his chest, and his hand rubbed my back.

“Shhh, baby,” he murmured. “Don’t cry.”

I raised my eyes to meet his gaze. “Thank you,” I whispered.

“Fuck, Marissa. Don’t you know I’d do anything for you?”

I sniffed, trying to get myself together. I wanted to be his. Nobody and nothing felt as right as Declan. Maybe in another lifetime, but it would never happen in this one.

“Your eyes shine like emeralds when you watch me,” he murmured softly. It almost sounded adoring but it was wishful thinking on my part. “Tell me when and where.”

“I’ll see if I can squeeze us in tomorrow,” I told him, my voice still wobbly. “I have to check with the doctor. Would tomorrow work for you?”

“I’ll make it work.”

I took his head between my hands. “I’ll owe you forever for this,” I vowed to the head of Irish mafia. It was stupid to give him that pledge but I meant it. I knew Brianna was on the right track, but I couldn’t put her in danger and among another organized crime group. I was almost positive he’d be a match for Emma.

“You owe me nothing, Marissa. But give us a chance.”

“But-”

“Fuck everyone else,” he muttered. “I'm the head of my family. What I say goes and you are mine. Give us a chance.”