Page 19

EIGHTEEN

MARA

NOVEMBER

My eyes must have bulged out of my head. “What?”

“Marry me, Mara. Make me the happiest man in the world and marry me.” He cackled, almost an evil laugh. “You’d get my insurance, which is really good insurance, by the way. And you’d get my money, and if I left L.A., it’d be easier to get custody because we’d be married and Syd wouldn’t?—”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” I said, putting my hands out. “This is escalating quickly. I don’t want in the middle of your custody battle, much less to be your wife.”

“Why not? It makes perfect sense!” He held out each hand in turn. “I get great childcare and happy kids, a positive mother figure.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Second parent, but go on.”

“And you, Mara, would get my insurance, and any money you need, and time off to do what you need to do for your health, and you wouldn’t be my employee. You’d be my wife.”

Anger started to build in me. “I don’t need your pity, Jack. I have my own insurance.”

“But you don’t have time to go to the doctor, do you?”

“Well, neither does any other working single mom,” I huffed.

“Okay, well, you’re the working single mom sitting in front of me, and I think you’d be good for my kids. There’s nothing wrong with taking advantage of a better situation just because other people are suffering. It’s okay to take care of yourself. And it’s not like I’m doing some charitable deed and patting myself on the back for it. It’s a mutually beneficial proposal.”

My mouth hung open. He had a point. At first, I pegged this for some ableist do-gooder bullshit, but if anyone were never to be charitable or self-congratulatory, it’s Jack.

I laughed, a full belly laugh. “Look, I know people do this in movies and stuff, but I still want to save marriage for love.”

“Your kids would have a dad.” Jack’s voice was more serious. That was a machete of a sentence, slicing me clean in half at the waist.

“Jesus, Jack.” I shook my head and stood, wrapping the blanket around my shoulders and pacing. “You’re making a lot of assumptions.”

“You said yourself that Aspen misses his dad.”

“Yeah, his dad, Jack. His dad let him down. Plus, what’s he going to think when his new dad who’s his best friend’s dad goes out cheating on his mom?”

Jack sat up straight, turning very serious. “I wouldn’t cheat on you, Mara.”

I raised my eyebrows at him. “You wouldn’t be out shopping for some young thing to drain your balls or whatever it is you guys say?”

“We don’t say that,” he said, his brow lowering. “And no. I just manage things on my own. I’m never going to love again, so why bother with all that?”

I turned to face him full-on. “And I need love to get married. My first marriage was a failure, but . . . I still hold out hope that someone’s out there waiting to love me.” I was starting to rant, getting worked up and stalking toward him. “Once the kids are gone, what will I have? I want my next marriage to be someone who’ll go all the way to the end and not give up on me just because my body gives up.”

I hated how choked up my voice sounded. I hated admitting that was why Bryce really left. I became inconvenient. That whole “in sickness and health” thing just didn’t apply when it came down to it.

Jack leaned forward and gripped my fingers in his hand, a gentle touch. “Mara, I can’t promise you love, but I’d take care of you. Okay?”

“Everyone says they’ll stick around until it counts,” I said, a single tear streaking down my cheek.

Well, this was embarrassing. I was crying in the backyard of my son’s best friend’s dad, who was a famous hockey player. Cool. Great look, Mara.

Jack’s thumb rubbed across my knuckles. “I’m sorry for what he did to you.” His voice was hardly audible over the crackle of the fire, but I heard it all the same. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“Apparently, no one’s keeping track of what we deserve.”

Jack squeezed my hand a little harder. “I’m trying to.”

“That’s not your responsibility,” I said. “You don’t need to right the wrongs of the universe.”

He tugged on my hand to make me look at him. “Why not me?”

I couldn’t come up with a good answer. “I don’t know.”

I went back to my perch on the couch, arranging the blanket over me again.

Pull it together, Mara.

I stared into the fire, letting my thoughts roam free. I got agitated again, needing to pick apart every tenet of his little scheme. “What about the kids? What would us being together for business teach them about love and marriage and commitment?”

He tossed his head from side to side. “I can’t promise love, but . . . we could have a little fun together. Be affectionate and stuff. You know. Meet those needs.”

I cocked my head. “What are you saying?”

Jack’s lips had a slight curve to them despite the bruising and split on them. “We’re friends. What would be so wrong about, you know, getting physical?”

My laugh was sincere because he was being funny. Right?

“What?” he asked. “Why is that funny?”

I waved my hands to settle myself. “So, let me get this straight. I marry you. I can take care of my medical needs in a way my current situation doesn’t allow. You make sure my kids and I have all our food, clothing, housing needs met. In turn, I’m a positive example for your kids, make sure their needs are met, and let me check my notes because this is where it takes a turn, have sex with you.”

“And your kids get a dad?—”

“Second parent,” I clarified. “Parents aren’t gender-dependent.”

“Right. Yes.” Jack let out a ragged breath. “And we make sure our kids have a good example of romantic love by being in love in front of them. Sleep in the same bed and stuff. We can’t have them getting a complex.”

“And we have sex,” I said, “but you’ll never love me.”

He lifted a shoulder. “I’ll make sure you never have to load or unload a dishwasher again.”

Our eyes locked. My lips fell open. “You are insane, Jack Leroy.”

“Really thought I was getting somewhere,” he mumbled. “I mean I can give you truly anything but romantic love, Mara. And you know, I’m pretty good at sex.”

My eyes widened. “Wow! What a selling point!”

“Try me,” he said, relaxing back in his chair.

“Come again?”

He put his tongue in his cheek and chuckled. “Oh, you would come again.”

“It’s usually the ones who are the worst at sex that talk the biggest game.”

“That’s why I’m saying try me!” he said, like I was proving his point. “Don’t act like we didn’t almost . . .”

Silence rippled between us, the crackling fire the only sound. I couldn’t quite figure out how the fire was burning, because it felt like there was no oxygen left in the air.

And yet, Jack’s eyes didn’t leave mine.

“We did,” I said. “Almost.”

He held up two fingers in a pinch. “This close.”

I didn’t know how to move on from that. Was I supposed to run across the space between us, jump in his lap, and start making out with him? It seemed like a viable option, but he wasn’t moving either. It was a stand-off.

I did what any sane person does when things are tense and you don’t know what to do: I deflected with humor.

I sat back in my seat, crossing my legs. “Okay then. How would you blow my mind? Take me to another plane of existence?” I challenged him.

Jack’s eyes shifted from the longing we’d just expressed to a glittering mischief. He was following me into humorous deflection. He smiled as well as he could with the busted lip. “You really wanna know? This involves some dirty talk.”

I smirked at him. “Oh, it’s been advertised and now I definitely need to know.” I sipped some of my fizzy water. Now that we’d settled into it, this was easily the most entertaining conversation I’d had in months.

He raised a leg over the arm of his chair, manspreading to set the mood, I suppose.

“I would,” he said slowly, drawing it out, “eat your pussy first, and then I’d fuck you.”

I was stunned to silence. I blinked fast. “Wow, Jack.”

“Right?” he said, truly impressed with himself.

“I mean, you should be one of those dirty-talking audio erotica guys. You could really get the ladies going with that one.”

Jack’s smile and laugh were genuine, his tattooed fingers running over the scar in his eyebrow. “Okay, fine. Those were softballs. Freebies. I bet I could get you off just talking to you now.”

“Oh,” I said, acting shocked. “Do I have to pay if those were just freebies? The intro offer?”

Jack’s gaze was hungry, something darker unleashed. “I’ll let this one be on the house. You probably need a little attention, don’t you?”

My lips curled up and my nipples hardened at the thought. I’d had exactly zero action in the months since Bryce left. This was risky if it went south. I’d have to see Jack again, but we’d be leaving in the morning. I could make our contact more sporadic. Maybe coordinate the playdates with Harper’s mom instead.

Though he was becoming a friend, and I’d have hated to lose that.

But friendship aside, a sexual experience sounded far more rewarding in the moment.

“Alright, then. Try me.”

Jack licked his lips, taking an extra second on his cut and bruise. “Let the games begin.”