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ELEVEN

JACK

OCTOBER

The air was filled with the whine of a motor and kids’ laughter. A new kid ran up, headed straight for the bounce house I’d rented for Harper’s birthday bash. Rather than something extravagant like her mom had thrown, I was just keeping it casual: playtime, pizza, and cupcakes with her closest friends.

“Shoes off, Aspen!” came a call from beside me, along with the hollow metal clank of a cane.

Suddenly, my chest felt lighter, my stomach tighter, and something weird was happening with my face. “Hey, you made it,” I said, bending to give Mara a side hug then crouching to say hi to Hazel, who toddled along next to her mom. Mara wore this mid blue wide-necked shirt that showed off her shoulders, jeans with sneakers, and her hair in a ponytail with her bangs out, just like in the picture I had saved. It seemed like that was her go-to mom look. “You want to sit?”

She waved me off. “Eh, not yet.” She flicked her head toward the bounce house. “They kind of remind you of little pieces of popcorn, don’t they?”

“They really do,” Jeanine Sorrento chimed in on my other side. “Especially when their hair flies up from all the static. Hey, I’m Jeanine. Dylan’s wife. Alice’s mom. And Greyson and Bella. They’re all part of the popcorn. Well, except Dylan. He’s over there with the guys.” She leaned to shake Mara’s hand with a broad smile.

“Jeanine, this is Mara, my, uh?—”

My what? What the hell was I thinking? Mara was absolutely nothing to me. She was just a mom from Harper’s class. And the hockey team.

And a mom whose picture was saved in the secret folder on my phone.

“I’m Aspen’s mom,” Mara said and with a wink in my direction added, “one of those hockey moms.”

The nerve on that woman.

“Aren’t we all?” Jeanine laughed, looking between us while I popped my jaw, then gritted my teeth. The drink cooler was on the ground and it might have been hard for Mara to bend to get something.

“Can I get you a drink, Mara?” came out a little too loud.

“Wow. The service,” Mara said with a smirk.

I must have sighed because Jeanine giggled. I elaborated so Mara would stop teasing me and would just make a choice. “Water? Seltzer water? Coke? Beer?”

“Seltzer sounds great. Thanks, Jack,” she said.

Why did I feel warm all over just from hearing her say my name?

Jeanine made herself scarce when I came back with Mara’s drink.

“Oh, actually, would you mind opening it?” Mara asked. “My fingers get too bendy sometimes.”

“How have you been opening cans without anyone around?” I asked, popping the top of the can for her.

“Either a bottle opener or brute strength,” she said. “Just blunt force trauma to the can.”

I was probably supposed to laugh, but I don’t do that much, so I pinched my lips and nodded. “Not to be rude, but what condition do you have?”

Mara took a sip off the seltzer and bobbed her head while she swallowed. “A handful of them really, but they typically come as a set. Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome makes the faulty collagen that makes my joints go all weird. Then the blacking out when I stand up is from POTS, which is related. Chronic pain,” she said, pointing in the air with her seltzer can. “And they think the weird collagen makes my gut hold stuff longer or differently than people with proper collagen, so that creates the Mast Cell Activation.”

She rattled it all off like it was nothing, but it was obviously a lot to manage.

“And what does that do? The mass cell stuff?”

“Mast, not mass. And that’s maybe the hardest one,” she said. “I can have allergic reactions just kind of at any time when any number of factors adds up.”

“Shit,” I said. “That’s gotta be scary living alone. And with kids.”

Mara pursed her lips. “There are a lot of scary things about parenting alone. You know that, though.”

I nodded and sighed. “I do.”

She turned to me with a soft smile. “You did a good job with her birthday today. I’ve always heard you should just do one celebration for divorced kids, but it sounds like your ex didn’t give you the choice.”

I grimaced. “She did not. But I asked Harper what she wanted to do, and she just said play with her friends. So that’s what we’re doing.”

Mara’s eyes were soulful looking over me, taking a moment to study me. “You’re a good dad, Jack.”

“You’re a good mom.”

She snorted and waved her hand. “No, I’m not fishing for a compliment. It’s just, no one probably tells you that you’re doing a good job. And you are.”

Why did my eyes feel hot? When was the last time someone complimented me ? Not my sports performance. Not how sharp I dressed. Complimenting me on something I cared about.

I ground my teeth together as my nose started to feel drippy.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, then her eyes rounded. “Oh, geez, I think Hazel’s trying to climb in the bouncy house. She’s going to get trampled.”

“I’ve got her,” I said, dashing off ahead of her. “I bet bouncy houses and loose joints aren’t good friends.”

I heard her laughing as I took off to grab Hazel. “Thank you!”

After I contained any dangerous bouncing potential, I spent about an hour of the party trying to make sure Mara had someone to talk to, hovering nearby to make sure they weren’t saying something stupid.

“Where did he play?” Sorrento asked.

“CU Boulder. It’s where we met.”

“Nice,” Sorrento said. “But he didn’t play any more after that?”

“No. It was for the best. He had an inflated sense of his capabilities and loved blaming the rest of the team for his shortcomings,” Mara said with a laugh. “I didn’t even like going to his games, truthfully. It was hard to watch, they were so bad. And then I knew they’d act like baboons afterward.”

“Thank god you guys grew out of your baboon phase,” Jeanine chimed in and they all laughed.

“You should come to our game,” I said, joining the conversation a little more loudly than I would have liked. Everyone went quiet.

Mara cocked her head with a teasing smile. “So I can see how the pro baboons do it?”

My cheeks got hot and Rome swooped in. “Yeah, we’ve got a Saturday afternoon game this week, right? Those are easier to bring the kids to.”

“Says the guy who doesn’t have to entertain them in the stands,” his wife cut in, setting off a hearty laugh from the group. Hazel pulled Mara away right then and she excused herself.

And there I was, left with the realization that I wanted someone in the stands for me again.

What the hell did that mean?

Pizza was eaten and the kids were watching Harper open her presents. The adults huddled in a semi-circle around the kids, chatting and making sure their kids didn’t swipe a present for themselves.

“You should be glad Mikey’s pre-occupied with their baby,” Rome laughed. “He threatened to send the loudest present.”

“I think maybe I’ve got the loudest present,” Mara said, as Hazel squirmed and started to whine in her arms. “I think we’re going to have to take off. Thought I could push Hazel through her nap, but nay. Aspen, get your shoes, buddy.”

There was a chorus of “been there” and “I get it” from the parents, but my mouth apparently chose a different response.

“No!” It just fell out and every adult around us turned to look. Why was I so embarrassing at this party? It was just the guys and their wives for a casual Sunday afternoon. I was acting like I’d never done this in my life. I needed a cover for my interjection. “We haven’t done cupcakes yet. I have a guest room. She can take a nap there.”

Mara hesitated, so I waved her toward the house. “Come here.”

She had to choose between Hazel and her cane, so I reached for Hazel. “May I?”

Mara shrugged. “Ask her.”

I held my hands out and Hazel flopped into them. “Hey, you. Let’s get you a nap.”

“Jack, you really don’t have to,” Mara said. “Things are winding down anyway. Sometimes her naps run long?—”

I lifted a shoulder but didn’t look at her. “Wouldn’t want Aspen to miss his cupcake.”

“Sure,” she said.

Sure? What the fuck did that mean? I got to work setting up a pack and play for Hazel to sleep in while she and Mara sat in the rocking chair in there. When I was finished, I turned and shifted awkwardly, finding Mara nursing Hazel.

“I’ll just leave you to it.”

I was restless back at the party, but I managed to get a good video of us singing “Happy Birthday.” As soon as every kid had a cupcake, I went back inside to make sure Mara and Hazel didn’t need anything.

I pushed on the door handle right as Mara pulled it, stepping into the hallway and shutting the door behind her. It left one arm tucked behind her, and she leaned her ass against the doorframe, lifting one eyebrow at me.

“I was just . . . checking on you guys,” I whispered. “You were gone for a while.”

Mara stuck out her bottom lip and looked up at me through her lashes. “This is an awful lot of work for somebody who doesn’t like hockey moms.”

“I don’t like anybody,” I said, my voice huskier than I intended it to be.

Mara was pressed into the doorframe, and my hand was somehow on the wall next to her head. She combed over her lower lip with her teeth, those blue eyes softly meeting mine. “I think you might be a liar, Jack Leroy.”

I hadn’t kissed anybody since the last time I had sex, and that was, what, right after Sydney and I moved away from each other last fall? Mara was just right here and her lips looked so soft and red and her eyes were so bright and I bet her waist would feel good under my hands. Her gaze flickered to my lips. Hers were parted and mine were parted and I swear I could see every atom in the air between us, frantically moving with our breath.

A voice called from downstairs.

“Hey, Leroy? Alice needs a Band-Aid.”

I jolted away from Mara, dusting off my clothes like that would make a difference somehow. “Be right there!”

And at that, a cry came from inside the bedroom. Mara squeezed her eyes shut. “Left my cane in there anyway.”

She swung the door open and disappeared into the darkness inside.

“Jack?” Sorrento’s voice rang out again.

I adjusted my pants. “Coming! Jeez.”