Page 41 of Unconventionally, Elle

Seven years ago

J?ude was heavily involved in the BP litigation from the Deepwater Horizon spill. I rarely saw him and woke up alone in our bed most days. I was to blame too. Work was my priority. Always.

My morning chats with Grandma Di were shorter, and lately I'd been antsy to hang up so I could get to my desk.

Whenever I talked to her, she asked if I was writing.

I wasn't. For her to ask if I was writing, it made my stomach hollow out.

I wanted to write, but I wanted to make her proud and to be financially secure.

I wasn't brave enough to be a writer, and every time she asked, I'd gently change the subject and ask how she was feeling instead.

She never remembered telling me at the beginning of the conversation anyway.

"Are you awake?" he whispered, tiptoeing to my side of the bed.

"Mm," I murmured, staring at the ceiling again. He perched on the edge of the bed next to my right arm.

"Hello, beautiful," he whispered and kissed my forehead.

I closed my eyes and allowed a soft smile to ghost over my lips.

He stood back up and walked slowly to his side of the bed.

I watched him take off his shirt, then strip down to his boxers.

With a loud groan, he lifted the covers and crawled into bed.

I turned on my side to face him in the middle of the bed. He extended his arm, signaling for me to nestle into his embrace. I couldn't resist.

"I miss you," I whispered with my head on his solid chest. "We keep missing each other." I kissed the inside of his shoulder and snuggled closer, craving his warmth and affection.

He sighed deeply and traced small circles on my exposed arm. "I know. I miss you too. This case is draining me, but I'm hoping it won't be like this much longer." He focused on the ceiling and avoided my gaze.

"Fingers crossed," I murmured.

He tilted his head to the side and kissed the top of my head again.

"I'm sorry." His voice was barely audible, but it was amplified with my head on his chest.

I should have acknowledged it, but instead, I stayed silent and let his inhales and exhales gently lull me to sleep.