Page 55

Chapter Fifty-Three

Theodore

I blink my eyes open, a warm yellow light filtering through the shades and brightening the room.

A smile befalls my lips when I remember where I am and who I’m with.

I’m almost afraid to look behind me in fear of it not being real, even though I feel him holding me.

The smell is another giveaway, because his scent is everywhere.

Needing to know I didn’t make last night up, that I haven’t gone completely crazy, I roll over, and my smile grows when I see Tobias sleeping soundly. I shift carefully, not wanting to wake him or move out of his grasp.

When we’re chest to chest, I run my fingers gently along his cheek, then his forehead to brush his dark hair out of the way. I kiss his nose, his lips, and hold onto him, hoping like hell I can have this every single day for the rest of my life.

I told him I was sorry, but it wasn’t enough.

I don’t think it’ll ever be enough, even if I said it every minute of every day for the rest of eternity.

I hate that I let my fears over stupid things get in the way of this.

He was right all along. I would get by. I would be fine.

Because I am, and I did it on my own—with help and support from friends.

I needed that. Being away from Tobias sucked, but having the confidence of figuring this out, of surviving, was good for me.

I want everything with this man. Hopefully, when he wakes up, he doesn’t feel like last night was a mistake.

This could all go very badly. He could kick me out, tell me he regrets it and never wants to see me again.

I don’t think anything would hurt more than that.

I'd have to respect his wishes and go, but it wouldn't be easy.

“Why are you staring?” he murmurs, and I can’t help but laugh.

“Can’t help it,” I whisper. “You’re hot.”

He smirks, but keeps his eyes closed, sliding closer to me and hugging me tighter. That’s a good sign. He isn’t mad. He’s happy. That’s all I want for him. For us, really. Together.

“Tobias?” I say gently.

“Hm?”

“It’s tomorrow.”

He opens his gorgeous hazel eyes, and they find mine like a magnet.

“Yeah, it is,” he says in a sleepy voice.

I run my thumb along his bottom lip, then lean in to kiss him, and whisper, “I love you. ”

He sighs softly, and I add, “You taught me what it feels like to live.” The smallest frown appears between his eyebrows, and I keep going. “I don’t want to go back to pretending.”

“You won’t have to,” he responds. “Because I love you too.”

“Say it again.”

“I love you, baby.”

I kiss him again, this time more playfully and firmly, until I’m pushing him onto his back and crawling on top of him.

I rest my head on his chest while his arms come around me and we stay like that for a while.

I’m in and out of sleep, his soft breathing and beating heart comforting me like nothing else.

“Where’s Biscuit?” he asks, breaking the silence. “She’s fine alone all night?”

I turn my head, resting my chin on his chest to look at him. If I answer that question, I’m not sure he’ll take it the right way. So instead, I say, “How about I make you breakfast and tell you what I’ve been up to?”

“Sounds like you’re avoiding the question. You didn’t get rid of her, did you?”

There isn't an accusation in his voice, and I don’t want to put any negative thoughts in his head.

“Of course I didn’t. And I’m not avoiding it, you just need context,” I explain.

He frowns, and again, I kiss him because I can’t help it, then I get out of bed.

“Third drawer,” he says, jerking his head toward his dresser .

I go to it, pull it open and find sweatpants. I get us each a pair, and we put them on before going to the kitchen. He has no fresh food in here, so I settle on a box of pancake mix with a questionable expiration date on it. All it requires is water, so I mix it up and make the whole thing.

Once we’re sitting at the table, eating dry pancakes because he has no syrup, and drinking black coffee, I decide it’s time to tell him the whole story.

From the day he left, up until last night.

I tell him all about Marianne and me talking things out, how we told our families together, and how mine haven’t spoken to me since—except for my brother.

I tell him about living with Asher and Morgan.

That Marianne got me a job with her father, to which he frowns, and that Biscuit has been there—which makes him frown deeper.

“And I know what you’re thinking,” I say. “And I understand that it may be weird for you, but this is what feels right for Marianne and me. We’re friends, have been from the beginning, and this is the way it needs to stay.”

He nods, studying me for a long moment before saying, “Thank you for telling me all of that. For being honest.”

“Tobias, I swear I will never lie to you about anything ever again. Unless it’s for your birthday.”

“You don’t even know when my birthday is…” He smirks.

Fuck, he’s right.

“When is it?” I ask sweetly, hoping he’ll just tell me.

“Tell me something first,” he says, picking up his mug to finish his coffee. “What the hell kind of name is Donald Wren?”

The name I used when I booked a date with him. Damnit . I groan, my head falling back on my shoulders.

“Do we have to talk about that?” I whine, covering my face. Can the floor open up and swallow me whole? Please?

“Well, we do now,” he says with a laugh.

“It’s stupid.”

“Even more of a reason to hear it. Come on. Tell me.”

Chewing on the corner of my lip, I watch him, hoping he’s going to tell me he’s joking; that he really doesn’t care. But that won’t happen. Once his mind is set on something, that’s that.

“Fine,” I huff. “I was trying to be funny, I don’t know. I went with the whole Pluto thing, but couldn’t think of a name having to do with a planet, so instead I went with Pluto the dog.”

“The dog?” he asks humorously.

“Yes, the dog. And Donald is one of his friends, so...”

“And wren is…”

I hold his gaze, not wanting to say the rest of it because it’s really stupid. Embarrassingly stupid, and I don’t want to admit it. I never thought I’d have to explain this to him. If I did, I would have chosen something better.

“Wait,” he says, a slow smile forming on his lips.

“Wren as in the bird ? Instead of duck?” He barks out a laugh.

“Creativity is not your strong suit, is it?” His laughter is growing, even though he’s trying hard to stop it.

So, I do the most reasonable thing possible and tear off a piece of my pancake and throw it at him.

“Hey!” he says as he picks it off his shirt and puts it on his plate.

“You’re being mean,” I whine.

“Aw, baby…”

He gets up to come over and kiss me, soft and sweet. When he pulls back, he’s smiling. He cleans the dishes up, putting them in the dishwasher before taking his seat again and asking, “So, when do you start this new job?”

“Monday.”

“Look at you being all independent. It’s almost like you don’t even need me.”

I purse my lips, leaning back in my chair. “Even if I didn’t, I’d want you, anyway.”

His grin is blinding, and all I can think about is the first time I saw him. I was in disbelief of his beauty then, and I’m in disbelief now.

“Are we really doing this?” I ask, the words coming out raspy.

His smile slowly falls, and he looks at me seriously. “As long as it’s what you want.”

“It is,” I say adamantly.

“Forever? Because I don’t think I can handle anything less, Theo. ”

I get out of my chair and go to him, staring down at him for a few seconds before dropping to my knees. “Forever, Tobias. I promise, I want forever with you. I want everything with you.”

“Everything, huh?” he says with a chuckle, running his fingers along my chin. “I guess we should start by going to get our dog.”

Our dog.

I lean into his hand, then turn my face to kiss his palm. “I could use a visit with her.”

“Oh, I meant to stay," he says.

“Stay?”

“Here. With me. And you.”

“Stay here with…”

“Us.”

I hold his gaze, knowing what I’m hearing, but I’m not sure I understand. He can’t be saying what I think he’s saying… can he?

“While we’re out, we can get your stuff from Asher’s too.” I narrow my eyes, and his narrow too. “If it’s too much—”

“No!” I blurt, jumping up and into his lap. “No, it’s not.”

He hugs me back, laughing. “Thank fuck for that,” he whispers.

Yes. Thank fuck for that.