Page 54

Chapter Fifty-Two

Tobias

After sending the text to Theo, telling him to come over, I regret it.

But that lasts only a few seconds before butterflies are fluttering in my stomach.

I keep reminding myself that I miss him, and I need to be willing to forgive him if I want things to work out with us—and I have recently accepted that I do.

If I’m ever going to figure us out and see if we can work together as a couple, I need to hear what he has to say.

I need to let him apologize. And I can forgive him without us getting back together.

Even if he messed up, Theo isn’t Brandon.

Theo doesn’t get satisfaction out of hurting me.

He doesn’t manipulate me on purpose. Yes, he lied and he hurt me, but I’m not perfect either.

If he can prove to me that he is sorry, that he will never do it again, I think we could make this work.

Because I really fucking want to. Missing him this much tells me all I need to know.

He doesn’t answer me and tell me he’s on his way, so I’m not sure if he’s even coming.

Something tells me he’ll show, but I can’t bank on it.

Maybe he hasn’t seen the text yet. When my doorbell rings ten minutes later, I can’t help but grin.

Maybe he was in the area because his house certainly isn’t ten minutes away.

As I stand in front of the door, my nerves go haywire.

I pull the door open, trying to hide my smile so I don’t let him think everything is okay.

We have so much to talk about before moving forward.

When the door is open, though, a frown falls over my face.

It isn’t Theo standing there.

It’s Molly.

“What are you doing here? Is Mom okay?”

I never thought I’d see the day my sister is standing on my doorstep. Even in the case of something happening to our mother, I assumed she’d call. Maybe not. She'd probably have the hospital call. Which makes me think something is very wrong. She’s never been here, not once.

“Can I come in?” she asks.

I step to the side, not sure of what to say. She walks deeper into my kitchen, looking around the area. My sister and I are strangers. Stepping into my house, she’s probably learning so much about me she never knew.

“Is Mom okay?” I repeat as I close the door.

Molly turns to me with a sad smile, and nods once.

“She told me what happened.” I raise a brow, not sure what she’s talking about. “With Dad,” she clarifies.

I suck in a breath. “Oh…”

Not much, but it’s all I can say. None of this is what I was expecting for the night .

“I’m sorry,” Molly says, holding her chin higher. “For… everything.” Her words crack, eyes getting watery. “I had n-no idea, Tobias.”

With a sigh, I walk to her and pull her against me. She cries against my chest, her body shaking. I haven’t held my sister while she cried since she was eight and fell off her bike.

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea why you were so angry and upset. I miss Dad so much, but I knew Mom missed him too, and I was just trying to be there for her.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” I hug my sister tighter, and we stay like that for a while before she finally settles. I get her a tissue and she wipes her eyes. They're the exact shade of Dad's, and it sends a pang to my heart seeing them so close.

“Please forgive me,” she pleads. “I don’t think I can ever apologize enough for the way I’ve treated you.”

“Molly,” I say, putting my hands on her shoulders. “I forgive you. Let’s move forward and start fresh.”

“That’s it?” I nod, and she bursts into tears again, falling against me. “After the way I’ve treated you, that’s it? You’re just going to let it go?”

“You’re my sister. We’re supposed to fight,” I say, trying to joke, but she doesn’t laugh. “Dad wouldn’t want us hating each other, Molly, and this isn’t entirely your fault. I should have said something sooner.”

“No, no,” she mutters, shaking her head. It takes longer for her to get herself together this time, but I let her let it out. She needs this as much as I do .

When she pulls away, she gets a few more tissues from the box I left on the counter, wipes her face and eyes, then gives me a sad smile.

“I had to come by to apologize. Truthfully, I thought begging for your forgiveness would be much more difficult.”

“I’m not really an asshole,” I say. “Despite what you think.”

She huffs out a laugh.

“I can see that.”

I shrug, shoving my hands into my pockets.

The doorbell rings again, and this time I know it’s him.

“Sorry, I’m totally intruding.” Molly sniffles, running a hand over her hair.

“If you need to stay, I’ll tell him to leave.”

I never thought I’d see the day when I told anyone to leave for my sister, either, but here we are.

“Oh no, definitely not,” she says, waving me off. “But I would like it if we could make plans?”

I nod. “Of course we can. I’ll text you tomorrow?”

“Thank you, Tobias.” She gives me another hug, and I walk her to the door, pulling it open.

Theo looks a mix of devastated and in awe of seeing me. Like he’s never seen something so beautiful… Time seems to stop as we lock eyes, and for a moment, I feel like I can finally breathe again. But then he breaks it by glancing at my sister, who is awkwardly standing to the side.

“Hi,” she says to him. “Sorry to be a bother. I’m leaving. ”

“It’s not a bother,” I tell her. She gives me one last hug and then goes, smiling at Theo as she passes him.

I watch her until she gets into her car and then I bring my attention back to Theo, who is standing on my porch in the drizzling rain in nothing but a T-shirt and sweatpants, looking better than ever.

“Come in,” I say, stepping to the side.

Theo hesitates a moment before stepping in. “That was—”

“My sister,” I say.

“Yeah, I thought so.” I frown at him, raising a brow. How does he know that? “You look alike,” he says with a shrug.

“Do we? Never heard that before. At least, not in twenty years.”

“When’s the last time you were seen together by a stranger?”

“Good point.”

We go into my living room, and then all words fail us.

We stand there, in what should be awkwardness, but somehow feels comforting, staring at one another like we forgot how to act or speak.

He’s here, in my house, and that feels like a big step.

I know he wants to be here, but now that he’s here, I know I want him here, too. Maybe for always.

“Hi,” I finally say.

His smile is slow and sweet. “Hi,” he answers almost bashfully. “How have you been?”

His words are soft, unsure. Like he doesn’t know if he’s supposed to talk or wait for me to talk.

This bout of shyness is different from what I’ve seen from him before.

I’ve seen so many parts of Theo in the short time we were together.

His nervous shyness that first day, then his eager but hesitant side when things turned sexual.

Now there’s this timid side that I’m not sure I like. I mean, I like all things about him, but I hate that he feels this way around me. It’s not how I want us to be. It’s not the way we’re supposed to be. It’s not us.

“You missed me?” I ask, my voice coming out husky as I take a step closer to him. There’s barely a foot between us now, but it still feels like miles.

“So much,” he answers back.

I brush my thumb over his cheek and rest my hand on the side of his face.

His eyes fall closed and he takes in a shaky breath.

I take the moment to look over his face, see his features.

Not much has changed. Though it feels like forever since I’ve seen him, it hasn’t been all that long.

Not counting Valentine’s Day, of course, because that wasn’t us. Not the real us.

“I missed you too,” I whisper, sliding my hand around the back of his neck to pull him to me. A shaky breath escapes him as he clenches my shirt, burying his face against my chest, not too different from how my sister was moments ago. I guess I’m forgiving two people tonight.

Running my fingers through the soft hair at the back of Theo’s head, I hold him and we sway gently. I’ve missed him so much. More than I allowed myself to feel. My chest is full of more emotion than I thought possible. It's hard to breathe.

“I’m sorry,” he says after some time. “I swear I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”

“I believe you, Theo,” I say, pulling back to meet his bright green eyes that I’ve missed so much. “But we have a lot to talk about.”

He nods, not letting go of my shirt. “Yeah, we do.”

Cupping his cheeks, I lean in to kiss him. Just a soft press of our lips. He whimpers before I pull away and I rest my forehead on his for just a moment, before taking his hand and leading us to the couch.

“I asked for your honesty once, and I didn’t get it,” I start. He watches me carefully. “I’ve thought about a lot of things since we’ve been apart, and what I came up with is this: You made a mistake.”

“I did,” he says firmly. “The biggest mistake of my life.”

I nod, taking his hand again and running my thumb along his knuckles. “I also realized that my life is not as good without you in it. I miss you. And I regret not telling you I loved you on New Year’s.”

Theo sucks in a sharp breath, biting on his bottom lip as he fights tears.

Continuing, I say, “I don’t think it would have changed anything that happened, that’s all just part of our story now, but…” I tilt his chin up to look at me better. “I want to tr y again.”

“You do?” His words come out as a whisper.

“Everyone makes mistakes. Some small, some big. Some that hurt people and some that don’t matter. I won’t lie and say it didn’t hurt and that it still doesn’t. It’s going to take time for me to trust you again.”

“I will do anything to make that happen.” Theo moves closer to me, lifting up on his knees. He grasps my face, looking deep into my eyes. “Anything, I swear. Can I please kiss you?”

“I’d like that.”

His lips meet mine, softly at first, but it doesn’t take long for it to turn heated. I feel how much he missed me in just the way he kisses me, like he’s remembering my mouth all over again.

He breaks the kiss but keeps his lips a breath away from mine. “I hate myself for not telling you that I loved you too, but I’m terrified if I say it now, you’ll think it’s a way to earn your trust.”

“Then save it for tomorrow. I don’t need your words right now,” I answer, pulling his body fully on top of mine.

He groans when he lands on me, shifting to get comfortable. He’s hard against my thigh, and I grip his ass to grind his dick against my leg.

“I need to know that you’re mine and only mine,” I tell him as I kiss his neck.

I should have asked that question before I told him to come here, but I was giving him the benefit of the doubt.

With how angry I was over what he did, I can’t imagine him coming back to me if he hadn’t fixed it.

I could be wrong again, but something tells me I’m not.

And if I am wrong, and he’s doing this again, then I guess we just weren’t meant to be and I'm the biggest moron on the planet.

“Always, Tobias. I promise .”

I push him up slightly, needing to see his face. Maybe if I look closer, I can see the honesty there.

“It’s over?” I ask.

Waiting a beat that feels like an hour, he finally says, “Has been since she saw us. We even told our families together.”

My chest floods with warmth and my eyes fall closed. I focus on keeping my heart steady. “You did?” I ask, opening my eyes.

“Yeah.” He smiles. “But can we talk about that later?” He moves his leg to rub against my dick. “I need to feel you.”

“Fuck,” I growl before taking his mouth again.

We kiss until our lips are sore, and only then do I take him to my bedroom, where I lie him down on the bed and kiss him more.

I peel his clothes off, slowly, kissing every inch of his body that I can.

It’s only when he’s a whimpering, begging mess that I take pity on him and touch his dick. I lick and kiss it, driving him crazy.

This isn’t just about sex, about getting off, it’s so much more than that. It’s us reuniting, making up for what we’ve missed, showing our love for one another, because words aren’t enough right now .

“I want to come with you in me,” he says, trying to shove my hand away from his dick.

“You will.” I swipe my tongue along the crown of his cock and he groans deeply, his dick pulsing. He’s so close, right where I want him. I get the lube from my nightstand and work on getting a couple fingers inside him. I avoid his prostate, needing to drive him wild first.

“Just give me your cock,” he complains. “Please, Tobias.”

I chuckle, watching him squirm as I fuck him with my fingers. I’ve missed this so much. There is a stream of pre-cum dripping down his length, so I lean in to lick it up.

“Fuck, Tobias,” he whines.

When he’s loose enough that I feel I won’t hurt him, I get undressed and settle between his legs, leaning down to kiss him because I can’t get enough of that. I need his lips on me, always.

Always.

“Tell me you missed me,” I say against his lips.

“I missed you so fucking much,” he breathes out, fingers digging into my ribs, hips thrusting up.

I nuzzle my nose in his neck, beneath his ear. “Say it again.”

“Tobias, I missed you.” His grip on me tightens. “Fuck me, please. I missed you. I missed you. I fucking missed y—ah, fuck!”

I slide into him, all in one go, and he clenches around me so tightly I can’t move.

“Damn, baby, you feel even better than I remember,” I say, kissing his lips. “I missed you too. I missed you so much. You feel so fucking good, Theo.”

“I missed you,” he says again. Tears form in the corners of his eyes, but I don’t think it’s out of pain. It’s just emotion.

He grips me tightly and I move slowly at first, until I can’t hold back anymore and I’m fucking him hard, needing him to feel how much I missed him—for days.

“Yes, right there,” he cries out. “I’m so close. Just—fuck, yes!”

His dick erupts without either of us touching it, and I grind into him as he rides out his orgasm. Seeing him come undone… damn, it's so sexy.

I pause, swiping up his cum and bringing it to his lips. He opens before I have to tell him to. Theo sucks on my fingers as I start moving again, cleaning them. Even when they’re clean, I let him keep sucking. He moans, meeting me thrust for thrust, showing me how badly he wants my cum.

“Gonna come,” I tell him just as my dick throbs out my release. I groan loudly, not holding back. Theo holds onto me for dear life as I spill inside him. When I move to get up to clean us, he holds me tighter.

“Don’t go.”

So, I don’t. I stay with him in my arms all night.