Page 8

Chapter

Seven

Nuo

I stared at the Aethar dead at my feet. I hadn’t remembered killing it. But the wounds showed it was my kill. Kazhi usually went for the throat. Bastane for the heart. Me? I let them bleed out. But it had died quickly. The state of the midsection told me that.

I was tempted to kick the dead body. I’d always kept my hatred in check, never allowing myself to tip over the edge into the monster I was capable of. The monster was the one who demanded the blade move, and I was the one who held it steady.

“Filth,” I muttered to the body growing cold in the rain.

We’d flown far from the burning field where?—

Where—

I forced myself to move again, cutting short the thoughts of what had happened.

Just keep going. Keep moving.

The Aethars we encountered were emptying an airship that curiously didn’t belong to the Guardians. It was hard to believe the Aethar had an airship of quality—or had one at all. On top of that, the lying bastards said they knew nothing of the Ikhor or its whereabouts.

I could barely recall the fight or torturing them for information. I only remembered how the last one laughed seeing my hands shake.

For years, I’d been warned it would happen—that the time drew closer to when Brekt would be gone. But how could he have asked me to prepare for this? I was expected to hunt the Ikhor, pretending he hadn’t … flaked away to pieces.

“Nuo,” Kazhi shouted, tearing me from the spiral I was headed down.

I looked in time to see her throwing one of my knives my way. Catching it, I stuck it in the sheath inside my vest. Blood stained the edges, but what did I care? I needed to pack up and move on, keep myself busy.

Passing the body at my feet, I kicked it in the leg. The cuts showed I had used my special blades to question the Aethar on the whereabouts of the Ikhor. She’d lied until I took her life, claiming they hadn’t seen him.

Him . Ha!

The Ikhor wasn’t a fucking him. It was Liv. Liv, who?—

Stop . I grabbed a fistful of my hair, yanking it until the sharp pain on my scalp replaced the ache in my chest.

Trust had never been something I’d given easily. But Brekt had asked me to trust her, saying she needed us. Then he had the nerve to ask me to ensure she was safe when he was gone.

How could she have done that to him, betrayed him? He could have died not knowing. In his last moments, she showed us who she was. Why not spare him?

But now, I knew. I knew what she did—how she had made my brother feel before his death.

The Ikhor was going to pay.

“Nuo, get your shit together and get back on the ship.” Falizha strode past, carrying crystals left by the Aethars. Soaked from the rain, her golden hair was pulled tight from her pinched face, sticking to the back of her cloak. Not a drop of blood touched her sword. She hadn’t stepped in to fight.

“How in Mayra’s forsaken seas are we supposed to follow the Ikhor without a crew?” I barked at her.

Falizha stopped, her eyes narrowing to vicious little slits.

But I saw the lust there, too. Her attention wandered over my chest, my arms, my hands covered in Aethar blood.

She wanted me, never stopped wanting me.

Though she would spit how I was a disgusting Sea-leg, my refusal of her invitation to her bed irked her.

Falizha saw the power I had as a Guard, a rank far above her own. She wanted the power—to claim me and, in some way, take ownership of my strength and position. Right now she was taking in my weaknesses, thinking that in my saddened state, she’d find a crack and work her way in.

Like I’d ever touch her.

“I can run my own ship,” she said, her voice taking on a sultry edge before sharpening like a blade.

She was a confused one. “There’s no one better to pilot her.

And before you go accusing me, Nuo, remember who led the Ikhor around for weeks—bringing their whore into the Guardian City, where she could have killed everyone.

Remind me, who was fucking her? I couldn’t track who she was spreading her legs for. ”

Without realizing it, my special blades were in my hands, and Falizha backpedalled.

So easy. It would be quick. Or I could draw it out.

A tattooed hand wrapped around my wrist, stopping me.

“The Ikhor is no longer a she.” Red streaks ran down Kazhi’s neck, where the rain washed away blood. “That person is gone. We hunt an evil-possessed body. Our emotions about what happened on that field can be put away.”

She spoke her last bit to me, and I couldn’t argue. Time wasn’t something we had. We needed to find the Ikhor before it caused more damage.

“I don’t take orders from the Guards.”

Falizha was asking for a death sentence, talking to Kaz that way. Kazhi’s head tilted—just a fraction. My skin crawled when she looked at me like that, and knowing Falizha was a coward, I assumed she was shitting her pants.

“And yet, Falizha, you will get on your ship and take us to the Ikhor, like I said.”

I savoured it when Kazhi spoke like that to others. Mostly because it kept her attention off me.

Falizha gave a frustrated huff before stalking off to her ship. “Come on, Armel. Let’s get eyes on the Aspis.”

Falizha passed Bas, who didn’t answer. He was wiping off one of his swords and, in the next moment, dared to open his mouth to speak to me.

“Go on and follow your own kind, bastard.”

Bastane was dead to me. More so than Brekt. Not that he and I had ever seen eye to eye, but I never thought he’d trust the Council over us.

Bastane’s mouth set into a hard line before he sheathed his sword and stalked off toward the ship.

“How can we keep going like this?” I groaned.

My throat was raw from screaming. When we had first entered the gold bitch’s ship after the burning field, I needed some time alone. Had they all heard? Of course they had. I’d trashed an entire room on the airship. Any other time, I would have been embarrassed at the show of weakness.

Kazhi searched my face, hers showing nothing of what she was thinking. “How will we get to the Ikhor on foot?” she asked. “How will we follow it ?” She nodded to the sky, where the black shadow hid inside dark clouds.

A sickening wave came over me.

That black shadow used to be my closest friend. All I could see was his death—it had been brutal. And I stood by, making threats, not doing a godsdamned thing to save him.

Nothing was as I thought it would be. The honour, the glory, the pride I thought I would feel following the legend that would save us all.

I’d seen the faces on the Aethar when the beast roared above them. Pure fear. It wasn’t much different from how I felt when the dark shadow crossed overtop. The idea that I had anything in common with the Aethar sickened me.

I pulled my hand from Kazhi’s grip. “I need a minute.” I stepped away, into the torrent of rain.

“I’ll give you five. Then get your ass on the ship.”

She hurt, too. Kazhi was always cruel with her words, but on Falizha’s ship, she had a near meltdown when Falizha acted as though we’d all get over it and move on. On top of that, her fighting had been sloppy. Kazhi was never sloppy. It hinted she was distracted, too.

I moved away from the airship, the bodies, the blood. Several pairs of footprints appeared and faded from sight around the river nearby. The rain hid what lay in the distance. How many had I let slip away, lost in my bloodlust?

I sat down on a smooth rock, tipping my head to the sky. The rain washed away the blood, and a dark part of me wished it would stay. I felt dirty—I should look it, too.

Let the enemy see me covered in their blood. I wanted to cause them all so much pain.

I laid one of my blades across my lap. The water ran past me in the slow-moving river, unhurried, uncaring. The world went on while I watched mine fade like ashes in the wind—like Brekt’s body had.

The man I was yesterday was dead. Dead like Brekt.

Did the Ikhor feel anything? Had it planned everything the entire time? Had it planned for us to find it in that cave, what felt like so long ago? Had it called the horde to that burning field and ordered them to take Brekt down?

One Guard down, another broken.

It took me too long to realize I’d been stroking the sharp edge of my sword. More blood was spread along the blade where my fingers had been cut.

I hadn’t felt a thing.

I stared at that sharp blade.

Stared.

And stared.

The downpour cleaned it, and it shone. I wonder what it would feel like to ? —

I shot up, holding that thought in check—that was the monster taking over my thoughts. It wasn’t like me to think those things.

But I continued to stare at the sharp edge.

I wiped a hand down my face. “This isn’t you.” I paced along the river, holding my breath. “This isn’t you. You have shit to do. You have a goal. You’re a Guard. Act like it.”

A roar cut through the sky.

“I know!” I screamed toward the clouds. “I tried. I tried as hard as I could to find the answer. There wasn’t one.”

I’d let him down. The only skills I had were fighting and gathering information, and neither had saved him. Of course, there hadn’t been answers on how to save him. There were no books on how to outrun fate.

“And how could you ask me to make those promises to you!” I threw my middle finger to the sky to feel less embarrassed at how my voice cracked. Then I let my hand drop because he wasn’t in the sky.

He was fucking dead.