Page 45

Chapter

Thirty-Four

Liv

When I asked Maev if she’d ever heard of two minds sharing a dream, she snorted, saying I had read too many stories.

I corrected her, stating I hadn’t read the stories in my childhood—they were told through my mother.

Brekt and I unquestionably shared the dream.

I had entered his dream world before; he said he’d known me for years.

Since leaving the Guards, since becoming the Ikhor, my dreams have turned dark and haunted.

What if this place is real? What if Brekt and I met somewhere outside our understanding?

If it were true, this place is terrifying and houses something sinister looking for me.

I felt it when I travelled to the dark and quiet place.

I was being hunted; I was being watched, and I was about to feel pain.

M aev paced around the main table. She had circled it ten times while I waited for her to speak. My attention darted to the door, waiting for Ollo. He was somewhere on the ship, looking for empty crystals to see if I could fill them.

I fidgeted, testing my hand and trying to force my fingers into working again. My leg bounced as I held it all in, slamming everything into my box.

I was close to exploding.

I hadn’t stopped crying since the Aspis flew off an hour ago.

He is alive. I need to find him.

The thought overruled the desire to find the gods.

I had removed several splinters from my arms and legs from crashing into the crates. There were still some lodged in my back from being pulled across broken wood, but Maev was too preoccupied, so I hadn’t asked for help.

It was pitch black beyond the glass wall at the front of the bridge—the sun wouldn’t be up for another hour or so. Crystal powered torches set the room alight, throwing it into a golden glow.

He is alive!

Maev halted, her hand going to the air before she paced again, braiding her long, silvery hair as she thought.

“What are you trying to figure out?” I asked. “I could really use a distraction right about now.”

“What am I trying to figure out? Are you kidding? We found out several days ago we need to find the actual gods for you to return the magic. Meaning we had to change our plans. Then I find out it’s possible you can fill crystals, changing plans again because we could do so much for the people before you return the magic.

And then the Guard returns. The actual Shadow Guard—the host of the Aspis. Meaning the legends are all wrong.”

I bent over my knees. My tears had run dry, and now my stomach threatened to heave.

He is alive.

“Liv?”

“I’m okay. Just panicking. I got this.”

Maev was at my side, rubbing my back, and I winced when she hit a sliver. “Oh, your back is torn up, Livy!” She lifted my shirt. “Let me get these out.” She sat behind me with a small tool and began plucking wood, starting near the base of my spine.

I sucked in a breath.“Let’s go back to the gods and the crystals. I’m not ready to talk about … anything else right now.”

A few weeks ago, I would have argued that it wasn’t my job to help her people, but the twins were rubbing off on me.

For the first time, I considered saving my magic to help the people in need.

The twins had gone against their own wishes to help me—teaching me about sacrifice.

They were kind, brave and intelligent. Because of the twins, I believed there were people out there worth helping.

“On one hand, you could save a lot of people,” Maev said.

“But on the other hand, the magic is hurting you, and part of me thinks we need to get rid of it fast.” She moved up my spine, carefully plucking as she went.

“Ollo has to report back to the Aerial Elder, explain the missing ship, and we need to sneak back into the city without people knowing you are with us.”

“Why do we have to sneak?” I focused on my feet. Pushing the toes of my boots together.

“Oh.” She stopped again. “Well, his mission was a secret. My being here is a secret to those who made the mission. If it got out the Ikhor was in the city, the Elders would parade you in front of everyone.”

“Not that I want that, but is that bad?”

“Rydavians have waited a long time for the magic to return to them. You will have to face people begging for your help and need to understand their reactions when you say that you can’t. When they find out you plan to return the magic, you will have people after you. Especially the defence units.”

“Okay. So, we keep my identity a secret for as long as possible. What about the crystals?”

I may be willing to help innocent people, but if they asked me to fight for them? No. I would not fight the Guardians.

Guilt settled in as I realized I would fight for him .

He is alive! My whole body shook.

“Well, that’s another thing. I am trying to figure out if there is a reason to test the theory in my lab or if we search for the gods first.” Maev’s usual excitement about her experiments fell flat.

Her tone was low with worry. “Having a supply of magic crystals could really help the people and help our journey. I’d love to test how many you can produce and how often. ”

I flexed my hand out of habit. “Because the supply is running low. Meaning people can’t get medicines and power their weapons.”

“Exactly. But Livy, you’re changing. I’ve noticed it but didn’t want to alarm you. Ollo likely surprised you with it.”

I snorted. “Not the biggest surprise I faced tonight. But you’re right. I hadn’t looked at myself lately, and I feel it. I’m changing within, too.”

Maev set her tool down and came around to stand in front of me, tilting her head. “How so?”

I hesitated to admit how crazy I had gone. “I hear things, see things, dream of awful things. I am angrier than I have ever been.”

Maev didn’t respond, but I knew what she was thinking—how I felt resembled the Guardians’ version of the Ikhor more than it did the Aethars’ hero.

“You dreamt of him.” She folded her arms when I nodded. “What things do you see?”

“I’ve seen shadows while awake. And monsters when I sleep. I don’t know where I go, but I find him there. I didn’t think it was real until I saw him on the deck. It’s the version of him I’ve been seeing while asleep.”

“And what about these shadows while awake?”

“I don’t know. It’s something else. Do you think I can do more than control the elements?” I had been wondering about that for several days now.

“What do you mean?”

“What if the Ikhor’s powers can do more than manipulate the elements? Like, what if I could fly or read minds? What if I am seeing into places that aren’t … here … this place?” I waved around the room. “What if I’m conjuring monsters into this world?”

Maybe that would explain why I sometimes felt like I was hearing things.

“Where have you heard such ideas?”

“My mother would tell me stories like that.”

Maev blinked. “Who did she know that could fly? I thought there were no legacies in the lost lands.”

“They weren’t stories of real people.”

“Ah. Well, the gods can only manipulate the elements. They work in tandem with the magic of the earth. The pure-blooded legacies could only work with a single element that passed through their bloodline. Or rather, they can, since I just found out they still exist.” She tapped a finger to her mouth.

“Like the Shadow Guard becoming shadow.”

“Do you think the shadows I’ve been seeing are him?”

Why could I not say his name? Why was I shaking, feeling so cold, when I should be happy?

“Maybe. You two are connected. And now, he’s alive …”

Ollo returned then, carrying a handful of empty crystals. Our gazes met briefly, his hardening. He had come to my rescue before being thrown across the deck, while their enemy—a Guard of the Aspis—held his sister.

A man I had defended as being good.

Had I lost Ollo’s trust?

“Stashed in the storerooms.” Ollo held up the pile of empty crystals. “There aren’t many, but we can stuff your pockets and see if you fill these too. I would be interested to see how many you can fill and how fast.”

He strode up to me and stuffed crystals in my pockets, and all the while, I held my breath, so he didn’t hear it hitch.

He bent down on a knee before me, his hand around my ankle as he put more in my boots, but he wouldn’t look at me.

Then he went to my mattress and put more under my pillow.

“We will check on them every day and see if it works.”

He turned around, finally meeting my eye, and the look that passed through them confused me. “In the meantime, try to concentrate on the crystals and see if you can fill them.”

“Okay.”

“You alright?” His tone was clipped.

I nodded, but he didn’t seem convinced.

He took a breath, searching the room before saying, “I apologize for my words above deck. The moment got away from me. I should not have made comments.”

My shoulders slumped, and I bit my lip to stop my smile. The twins always surprised me. Ollo was not mad at me, but embarrassed for insulting Brekt.

“He’s not an asshole,” I said. “Not to me. Not usually.”

Ollo held back his next thought, but I could tell he disagreed.

“And … and how do you feel about what happened?” Maev asked. “We should talk about it. As far as our next move goes.”

My head snapped up.

Maev was staring at me, unblinking, and Ollo made himself busy, fooling around with papers on the table.

“I don’t know,” I whispered. “I—I don’t know what to feel, what to think.”

“He’s alive,” Maev said calmly, like she was talking to a child.

Ollo cleared his throat. “He changed back into a man. This doesn’t confirm it is him.”

“Liv won’t see it that way,” Maev argued. “He spoke to her, recognized her.”

She didn’t bring up the dreams, and I was thankful.

“And was he always physically violent? Saviour?” Ollo had both hands on the edge of the table. “You told me he was good to you. The display above was not what I would define as good.”

I wiped at my cheeks, and couldn’t stop shaking.