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Chapter

Twenty-Six

Liv

I have made several journal entries about shadows and dreams. One event blends into the next, and I’m no longer confident in my ability to distinguish reality from the fog clouding my mind.

I have seen shadows twice now where there shouldn’t be.

My dreams feel too real. The magic is rattling inside me, begging to be used.

Perhaps I’m mistaken, thinking his death broke my heart.

Perhaps it was already broken. Maybe his death is what broke my mind.

I made a fist, once again checking how many fingers would bend. I had hoped mobility would come back, but after several hours and no change, I believed my hand would not recover.

“Should I be calling you two the Guards of the Ikhor?” I hid my hand behind my back as they joined me near the exit of the airship. The ladder that descended to the outside had already been lowered.

It was a weak attempt to ease the tension. Being surrounded by people who didn’t like you wasn’t something you ever grew used to. Ollo’s words on the deck floated back to me. “ You’re bringing out the trueness of her. I think she intends to be your friend.”

If Ollo was telling the truth, and that’s how Maev felt … it changed everything. My intentions had been to get rid of the magic, to save myself, but that resolve was cracking.

Maev and Ollo wore matching Guardian clothes—all shades of black and grey.

Ollo had pulled his hair up in a knot at the back of his head, while Maev had braided hers down each side.

Their tall, thin frames and blue-marked skin reminded me I was a world apart from anything I had ever known.

Their expressions remained stony, glowing orange in the lamplight.

It would take more than a few jokes to earn their forgiveness. But I would.

I had bathed and changed into Guardian black, hiding the new scars lining my shoulder.

Before coming to these lands, before becoming the Ikhor, I didn’t have bones and crystals in my ears, and no scars marking my skin.

Now? Now, I was showing signs that I had finally lived.

I needed to toughen up, be braver, and try harder.

Life could be quite adventurous if you let it.

Losing an arm was a surprisingly effective lesson.

“What’s the point of the backpacks if we aren’t taking much?” I puffed the hair from my face as I readjusted the lightweight pack.

“Yours is a few essentials,” Ollo said. “Ours are packed full in case we can’t return to the ship and must make the long journey home on foot.”

“Oh.”

“I’m guessing you’re staying in Veydes if you surv—” Ollo stopped abruptly.

“If I what?” I asked.

“If you survive,” Maev snapped, her chin lifting, waiting for my reply.

Ollo rubbed his temples. “Mae, can you attempt at subtlety?”

“Why bother? This is her decision. She needs to face the consequences. We nearly died. If it’s not the beast coming at us, it’s the Guards cornering us.

Now, we are going to pray to a god that isn’t ours alongside the Ikhor, who doesn’t know how to use her powers—powers that could have helped our people.

You’re a pilot, not a fighter, and I can barely hold a weapon.

We are not even educated in negotiations. ”

“I’m equally as upset as you. We both had high hopes for Rydavas. But if Liv succeeds, she’s ending it all. The whole world would win. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Maev looked away.

“I know why you came,” Ollo said. “I know your intentions were not purely to help me deliver the Ikhor to the Elders.”

Maev’s weary gaze held her brothers as he gave her a knowing look and said, “I know you Mae, even if it’s been some time. You are not one to risk so much unless it’s to sate your curiosity.”

She hesitated. “My research could have used her magic.”

Ollo’s head tilted. “And what about your conscience?”

“Obviously, I don’t want to send Livy to her death.” Maev’s cheeks turned a shade darker.

“Livy?” Both Ollo and I questioned.

Ollo didn’t meet my eye when my lips quirked.

“It may not seem like it,” Maev continued, “because I am still so mad at you, Liv, for all the stupid decisions you keep making, but I consider you my friend. I am not only thinking of my people when I say I don’t want to do this. I don’t want you to die.” She crossed her arms.

She was almost as frightening as Kazhi.

“But you are,” I said, almost as a question. “Helping me, I mean.”

I ignored the sting of her words because it was a novelty to have someone mad at me for reasons I earned .

In my experience, people didn’t like me for something I couldn’t control.

But another emotion replaced the harsh truth she lay on me.

Something I had lost after Nuo’s threats—a determination to live a life that was full.

“I don’t want to die either. I will do my best not to.

If this doesn’t work, I promise to help you two. I will help your research, Maev.”

“And our people?” Maev said sharply.

“It’s hard to want to risk everything for people I don’t know. I am still learning how to do more than just survive.” I held up my damaged hand before they argued. “I can’t promise anything more. But I will go with you and see. I’ll make a choice then.”

“We take her to the temple to attempt to summon a god, or we get the next best option, and she helps our people,” Ollo said to Maev.

Maev huffed, nodding. She pointed at me. “No more funny stuff.”

I didn’t know what funny stuff was, so I agreed. My situation continued to get more ridiculous as I went, from the moment I landed to now travelling with the enemy and facing another god …

I gathered my courage, slapping the side of my face.

“What’re you doing?” Ollo questioned.

“Getting ready. Convincing myself this is the best move.”

Maev lifted her chin. “You mean we’re about to leave the ship, potentially taking away our chance to reach home, and you’re not even sure this is what you want to do? Do you ever think of others?”

I couldn’t come up with a reasonable response.

“Why the hesitation?” Ollo stepped closer to me.

“As you keep reminding me, the process might kill me. When I stated I wanted to return the magic … well, it’s far easier to say it inside the airship.”

“Then we should stay,” Maev scolded.

I stopped, shaking my head. “I still want to go. I want to try.”

“I will aim to help,” Ollo said. “Though I can’t fathom how we will take on a god.”

“I’m surprised you’re helping me at all. So I will take what I can get.”

Ollo bumped his shoulder against mine. “I would never allow the saviour to take on the gods alone.”

Maev’s hands went to her hips as she faced him. “It’s hard enough to keep my cool with everything going on. Please don’t make the day worse by acting cocky. It isn’t fooling either of us.”

I stood awkwardly next to Ollo, unsure if I should interrupt.

“And you.” Maev rounded on me. “You need to control yourself, too. You go from morose to angry to blushing in seconds. You need to present yourself differently if you’re calling on a god. If you’re too scared, we can wait.”

“We can’t. I’ve made my decision.”

Ollo gave me a small smile. “My advice is to act like you’re brave. Sometimes, if you try hard enough, the imitation can convince even yourself.” Ollo went to descend the ladder, but I grabbed his shoulder, stopping him.

“You two can stay here. I can protect myself. You don’t need to be put in any more danger.”

Maev whipped a braid over her shoulder. “Unfortunately for you, Ikhor, we are coming with you. We are trying to help. As friends. No running away from it like a coward.”

I bit the inside of my cheek.

“Since when do you make friends, Mae? I thought you liked being a loner.” Ollo lowered a foot onto the first rung.

“You’re one to talk,” Maev replied. “All your fellow pilots are party animals that don’t know a thing about you.”

“Better than your overly enthusiastic hermit of a friend.”

“What’s wrong with Cal?” Maev bent over the hatch, her blue braids falling in front of her. “He is a great friend.”

She held her hand toward the ladder, gesturing me to go next.

“I like the name Livy,” I said quietly, thrown off by their bickering.

“Hmmm.” She pressed her lips together, hiding a smile.

I made my way down the swaying rope ladder—a miraculous feat with one working hand—and landed on a bed of soft needles. I studied the ground, inhaling a familiar scent. My five good fingers—and one stiff one—tightened on the rope as I raised my head to search the forest we had landed in.

“Liv?” Ollo stepped closer. “You’re going pale.”

“Are you sure we are near the temple?”

“Yes, Maev followed the directions from the map. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Maev climbed down the ladder as the world spun, and the temperature dropped.

Fear .

My magic surged, coming forth without my control. But I couldn’t push the feeling down.

We stood in a small clearing, and the smell of damp cedar trees overtook my senses—it was identical to the Endless Forest, the home I never wanted to return to.

“What’s going on?” Maev’s feet thudded to the ground, which was now coated in ice.

“I don’t know.” Ollo exchanged a glance with his twin.

“Are you sure we are near the Mountain temple?” I spun on Maev, terrified she got it wrong. Was it possible they tricked me and returned me by airship? No one knew where my lands were.

“Where do you think we are?”

“This forest looks like my home. Did you lie to me?”

She turned in a circle. “The Lost Lands? This isn’t exactly what I pictured a mythical place looking like.”

I took a breath, really taking it in. Tall patches of grass pushed up through the layer of needles on the ground—the cold weather back home never retreated enough for the grasses to grow that tall.

“You know, it’s kinda ridiculous you freak out over a forest, yet the Aspis nearly killing you was no problem,” Maev muttered.