Page 78

Chapter

Fifty-Five

Liv

Sadness used to be a heavy weight tugging on my arms and legs while I dragged myself from place to place.

It had seeped into the cracks of my skin and burrowed into my flesh, making a home.

I allowed myself to be weak, selfish and terrified.

But now I wear my sadness more efficiently.

I walk with surer steps and I’m learning control.

I don’t think I need this stupid diary anymore.

—Afterthought: Perhaps the diary is partially to thank. I won’t throw it away just yet.

“ T his used to be the home of the royal family,” Maev said, walking stiffly away from the Elders sitting behind us.

The castle was not what I assumed a royal family would live in. It was warm and inviting—like a home. The bottom floor was for public use, while above housed personal suites.

Maev explained it was a collection of several rectangular buildings with sloping rooftops. Balconies lined every window and door. Elegantly decorated, the open space inside was inviting despite its dark history.

Maev was practically running toward the large staircase to the second level.

I hadn’t noticed the stairs when we first entered the room.

“They have anticipated your return in recent years. Not all floors have been dusted and cleaned, but the top floors have been prepared for your stay. The lower level is where the Elders meet. The rest of Avenmae Castle is empty.”

“No one lives here now?” The walls were white stone with massive windows, allowing the natural light to shine off every polished surface. The white velvet curtains matched the wall, and the carpets were intricately woven with blue patterns. Gold crystal-powered chandeliers hung from above.

“Parties are held here.” Maev’s voice echoed around the massive hall on the second story.

“And no one else is here. In this entire castle?” I asked. It could house dozens of families.

“No one. Just the staff who will serve you. It’s been deserted since the royal family was killed. The last royal family that ruled was two hundred and thirty-one years ago.”

I stopped. “I don’t understand. I have to stay in this place alone?”

“You’re bigger than royalty, Liv.” Maev grabbed my hand, pulling me to a large blue-carpeted staircase leading to the third floor. “But I am going to steal a room here too. So you won’t be completely alone.”

I was worried about the trail of dirt we left on the carpeted staircase as we passed a member of the staff, who bowed.

How ridiculous. I was in tattered, dirty clothes, and I had red eyes with black around the iris. I was skin and bones and not a towering warrior. I had done nothing to deserve this respect.

Yet, it felt good. For the first time in my life, I was welcomed. Wanted.

“The festival the Elders mentioned …”

Mave gave a curt nod. “The Festival of the Arts is taking place over the next several days. There’s a competition too. I had planned to enter my tracker in it.”

“You can still enter. We aren’t leaving right away, correct? You should do it.”

“The stupid Interrogator stole my tracker. I have nothing to enter. All my work is wasted.” Maev banged her hand against the railing as she let out an exasperated breath.

There was a pang in my chest. I hadn’t known at the time it had been taken from her. Otherwise, I would have demanded Nuo give it back.

“Just another reason that man is horrible,” she said. “Although, I could try entering my blueprints. But that won’t win me first place. I need a demonstration.”

“So, this festival of arts,” I interrupted. “What does it have to do with me?”

“Today is the parade. I’m guessing the Elders wanted to send the Ikhor through the streets for everyone to see. A big start to a week of celebrating.”

Sent through the streets? How many people would be looking at me? “Do I have to do or say anything?”

“You don’t have to. You don’t even have to go.”

I thought about it. “It would give me a chance to see your city. And I don’t mind making the people feel better if I don’t have to do anything. It’s already known I’ve arrived. If I know how people talk, the entire city probably knows I am here.”

“Probably,” Maev agreed.

I was out of breath when we reached the top of the last flight of stairs, having lost track of how many we had ascended. The landing opened to a short hall before a gold set of doors.

“You need more crystals, Livy. You’re getting weaker. If you’re going to agree to meet the people, at least let me get you some crystals.”

“Thank you. Then I agree to do it. We can tell the Elders after I clean up.”

“I will run to my lab before we go.” Maev stopped at the top of the final step, lifting a hand to the door before us. “Your suites.”

We were first met by a small room with cozy chairs and several doors leading off. I followed Maev around the luxurious cushioned seating area.

“These rooms belonged to the last queen. She lived in this home with her three children, who had quarters on the floors below.” Maev opened the first door, peering inside before moving on to the next.

“She lost her children in an attack from Veydes. The princes were nearing adulthood, in which they would marry. The first daughter born would be in line for the throne.”

“What happened to the queen?” I asked.

“It is believed she was captured and died on enemy lands, refusing to betray her people.”

“You don’t know what happened to her?”

“Her body was never recovered. The princes’ deaths were bloody.

They fought but were outnumbered and executed in front of the Queen.

There was a trail of blood, indicating the queen had been taken.

After that, the remains of the city were so bad that the decision to have the Elders run things took effect.

The Queen was never found. Over the years, so many false ransoms were sent that our people gave up hope for her return.

Our forces had no power to retaliate. So we stayed as such—weakened, with no rulers.

It became our fate. We’ve rebuilt since then, as we always do, and now our city is functioning well.

But supplies are difficult to maintain, and magic crystals become rarer and rarer. ”

I pulled the few from my pockets that were glowing, having long ago eased the tension in my body. “Here’s a start.”

Maev tucked them away before opening a new set of doors into a spacious bedroom. To my left was a canopied bed nearly as large as my old shack back home. To my right, arched doors opened to a stone balcony that wrapped around my entire suite.

My suite. I couldn’t stifle the laugh that bubbled out of me.

“Life is crazy,” I said to Maev when she gave me a look.

It reminded me of the Guard’s suites back at the Guardian City and made my chest ache, but I pushed that thought aside as I went to the balcony.

From nine stories up, I looked down to the streets below.

Avenmae had the tallest buildings I had ever laid eyes on.

The sun was out, shining brightly over the tiled roofs, and in the distance, the giant outline of a mountain range—the same one we had passed on our way here—stretched across the horizon.

A great river flowed through the city, trees and flowers lining the streets. The city was loud but peaceful.

It was nothing like I could have imagined back home, and it made the Guardian City look like it belonged in a time from hundreds of years ago. Avenmae was fresh, energetic, and modern.

Airships flew by in the distance, silent on the wind. The clouds high above floated by, not caring at all about what was happening below. For a moment, I forgot I was a saviour or a great evil. I was just a speck in a massive city.

Until I saw citizens waving their hands in my direction. I backed away immediately, my earlier fears confirmed—the citizens knew I had arrived.

I ducked back inside.

“You’re going to have to be braver than that if you expect to be paraded.” Maev chuckled.

I ignored her, taking in the dark navy walls in the suite. The space was cozy and private. Opposite the door we entered was a seating area and fireplace that was so large I could walk in it. Next to the bed was a door going into a room lined with shelves.

“The closet.”

I turned to where Maev stood at the end of the bed, watching me.

“This is a whole room for clothing?” I asked.

“Yes?”

“This room is bigger than the shack I lived in back home.”

Her face fell. “Well, there’s nothing funny about that. Even our most poor residents have homes bigger than this closet.”

“The difference is almost too much.” I took a seat in a cushioned chair near the fireplace.

“The people who are in the Endless Forest suffer, while places like this exist where a room for clothing is bigger than some homes.” I picked at the chair’s fabric, tapping my foot on the carpeted floor.

“I don’t know if I can stay here, Maev.”

“Not staying here won’t change things. You’re being offered comfort.

Take it, Livy. You need rest before you go search for the gods.

” She sat in the chair next to me before the fireplace.

“You have a good conscience. It’s one of the reasons I like you so much.

Even if you have a shorter temper than I do. ”

“Short temper and godly powers is not a good mix.”

Her mouth went taut. “Nope.”

She showed me the clothing supplied for me in the closet, and then left to find crystals, while I made use of a bath already drawn up in another room.

When she returned in a new set of clean clothes, she helped me into a long-sleeved gown that sunk low on my chest. She tied my hair up off my shoulders and wrapped a belt of silver around my waist. It was simple, but beautiful.

The fact that I looked like a colour-leeched version of a god took away my love for the gown. It made me want to be sick. I dressed well in the Guardian City. But his reaction and presence at my side had distracted me.

Now? Now, I could see the staggering difference between the girl I used to be and the one I was becoming. I was no longer scared or broken. But one thing that was the same was knowing how cruel the world was.

What would I have thought when I was dying beside the frozen river if I had seen into the future to me standing in this room?

I didn’t deserve nice things just because I had power, and I didn’t deserve them more than the lonely girl alone in her shack. I got them because others wanted something from me.

Maev squeezed my arm. “It matches the pale skin and white hair. You look like a star.” She smiled at her work when she finished my hair.

“A red-eyed star?”

She blinked and pursed her lips. “Well, I guess we all have flaws.”