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My breath came out in puffs before me. “Losing my arm was a consequence of my bad choices. It’s another to live in fear of those controlling the choices for you.”

“Well, you’re not there. You’re here, near the Temple of Mountain, about to summon a god.”

I searched her face, finding every thought she didn’t hide.

“It’s not the forest you need to be scared of,” she continued. “You’re about to ask Ouras to rip the magic from you.”

“I have to face the consequences. I want it gone.”

Maev shrugged the pack off her back and pulled out a familiar looking rolled map.

“I forgot you stole Nuo’s map,” I said, distracting myself from my racing heart.

“Yeah. I stole a bunch of his stuff. There’s a torch in here, too.”

I couldn’t contain the laughter that burst forth, and the twins eyed me like I had gone insane. “If he hated you for being an Aethar, it’s not anything like the hate he would feel for stealing his most prized possession. You think I should be worried for my life.”

I shook my head as she opened the map and searched for the best path to the temple.

“You’ve drawn on it!” I gasped.

Maev rolled it back up and motioned us forward.

“His drawings are too simple, spaced out in a way that, while it will help us in the right direction, there’s no indication of distance or proximity.

I have been trying to correct his drawings.

” She was heading between two cedars, with Ollo and me trailing her.

I struggled to keep up with their long strides.

“The map is detailed when it comes to the locations he’s been, but completely blank where Rydavas lays.” She pushed branches as she went, diving into the forest. “He didn’t even get our shoreline correct. There’s an entire bay in the south he’s missing. And the north shoreline is a joke.”

I walked between the twins, who towered on either side of me. We may have seemed like a formidable group of Guardians to anyone we approached. When, in fact, none of us could use a weapon, and I lacked control over the most powerful magic a person could have.

“You don’t make maps of your own?” I asked.

“We have maps integrated into our ships. Most are hypsometric maps detailed by our best cartographers and used by the aerial units, but our airship, the one we lost, was a simple navigational map—not so detailed,” Maev said.

I checked to see if Ollo was as confused as I was, but he was listening, ignoring me.

“Rydavas has more airships at their disposal than the Guardian lands, and we work together,” Maev explained. “There’s no need for secret maps. The Guardians hide their treasures. As you can see from Nuo’s drawings, he has treasures hidden all over Veydes.”

I didn’t mention to Maev that some of Nuo’s treasures were past lovers. He’d also marked the places he couldn’t return, and my guess was they were past lovers who were no longer welcoming.

Maev lifted her tracker and found a strong signal. “My guess is that way. If there are more monks who are purebloods, I’m likely picking up their signal.”

“What if it’s Ouras?” I asked.

“Not likely,” Maev replied. “The gods are hardly ever seen by the people. We will have to call him.”

Yet I had seen one. Rem had walked right into the dining hall in the Guardian City. Though, the Guardians at the dinner had all been stunned into silence.

I followed the twins as we passed between large cedars, listening to them bicker about what they would rather be doing back home. They seemed content to ignore me, and I didn’t blame them since they hadn’t wanted to take me to the Temple.

“Ah, dammit!” Maev shouted, coming to a stop under a large cedar. “My tracker died. Crystals have run out.”

I continued walking, avoiding the truth, knowing it was cowardly not to admit I could fill their crystals. If I filled them with magic now, would the twins change their minds about helping me go to Ouras?

Maev twirled on her heel and walked backwards, facing me as we went. “So what’s so bad in the Endless Forest that it scares you more than the Aspis? I’m still shaking from it.” She lifted a hand in the air to show a slight tremor.

I thought about it for a moment. “A giant beast attacking me is so unreal I can’t process it. But the forest I came from and the society that raised me? That was conditioning—a horrible way to live.”

“Was it violent?”

“Oh no. The Law Keepers were, but there was no crime. Issues were quickly dealt with.”

“That sounds like peace to me,” Ollo commented. “The leaders used their control and gave the people a life with no worry.”

I stopped walking. “I thought you were supposed to be smart.”

“Pardon me?”

“When you are stripped of all choice, nothing is left of your soul. The suffering is in the lack of purpose or hope. It’s a prison packaged as peace and prosperity.

If you are fighting for your people, Ollo, I will warn you not to let your society become like that.

I have seen what bad rulers can make of a home.

I was dying every day. Eventually, my light would have been snuffed out. ”

Ollo dipped his head in apology as I continued past him, winding around a large cedar. “We had no gods to pray to. No stories to inspire us. We didn’t have a saviour who would return to fight for our cause. I prefer having my arm ripped off to the suffering I went through living that way.”

“I agree,” Maev said up ahead. “You know, if you kept your magic, you could return there and show them what you think.”

“I don’t wish to have anything to do with them ever again. I would be stooping to their level. They killed my mother for speaking out.”

“They killed her?”

I nodded. “Deciding what’s best for other people is never the right answer. That’s why I will never decide someone else’s fate.”

It occurred to me that it took weeks of knowing the Guards before I was brave enough to speak of my mother or the Law Keepers. I tucked away that realization—I was changing.

But something about Maev’s idea to return to the Endless Forest with my magic roused something within me. It roared up, driving me forward, demanding to be used.

Revenge , it commanded. I want revenge.

The twins walked on, not noticing anything amiss. But it was clear as day. The Ikhor was getting stronger, and I didn’t think the presence was made of anything good.

While they were walking ahead, I pulled out the photo I had hidden in my pocket.

The picture of the Guards with one side ripped off.

It ached to look at him. But at that moment, it brought me comfort, too.

I pulled strength from the small piece of paper.

He fought to the end, battling what was inside him, never letting it define who he was.

I was close to the temple, and I would beg Ouras to take it back. I may not be a saviour or a hero, but I could be good , and not become a product of hatred. I would not become the evil consuming me.