Page 57

This morning will be filled with endorsement deals. Ellie managed to schedule mostly everything on the same day, so I’m set to record a few radio spots, film a commercial, and take pictures at two separate photo shoots for two different companies, and because she’s the best, everything is located in one central location.

I tend to get a little nervous when I have these sorts of days, especially when I have to read for the radio spots. But she sent me the information ahead of time, and I had my phone read out my scripts to me. I turned them into song lyrics to memorize them quickly, and I’m ready to go.

Everything goes off without a hitch, and before the first photo shoot, I’m even given the special treatment with a barber. He cuts my hair and grooms my beard for me, and it’s like I’m a new man as I smile for the camera.

As it turns out, I’m more nervous to pick up Harper after school than I was for anything I did this morning.

I’m not sure why.

I guess because it’ll mark the first time I’ve seen Hartley since I left her place last night, and when I left, it was…awkward.

I don’t want it to be awkward between us.

Fighting I’m good with. Fucking…hell yeah. But awkwardness is a phase I’m not equipped to properly deal with.

I debate parking and going in or just driving through the pick-up loop, and ultimately I decide on the loop as I wonder whether Hartley feels as nervous as me.

I sit in my car nervously flipping my coin while I wait, and when I finally spot Harper walking through the doors, I see her with a security guard again.

I set the quarter down.

Hartley didn’t even have the balls to come face me herself.

And for some reason, that induces a rage I wasn’t expecting to feel.

Maybe she’s busy. Maybe she had another tutoring session or more work to do—there are probably a million different reasons she didn’t walk my daughter out, but my giant ego can only seem to settle on one: she was avoiding me.

And I’m moved to give her a piece of my mind because of it.

I don’t have time to voice text right now since Harper’s sliding into my backseat, but maybe later.

Or maybe I’ll just show up at her place and confront her.

Now there’s an idea. Think you can avoid me? Think again. Fight with me, but don’t fucking ignore me.

“How was your day?” I ask, trying my hardest to push my confusion and annoyance to the back of my mind. Harper doesn’t deserve the brunt of that.

“Fine,” she mumbles as she buckles her seatbelt.

“Just fine?”

“I fell asleep during social studies and Ms. Miller yelled at me,” she admits.

You gotta love a kid’s honesty. It’s probably something most of the adults I know could use a dose of.

“Well you can take a nap when you get home,” I say.

“I don’t need one now,” she mutters, and I laugh. “Wait…you’re not mad at me?”

“I’m kind of mad at Madeline that she let you walk all over her.” I glance back in the mirror as I debate asking her how tutoring went, but I chicken out. “But I’m not mad at you.”

So much for honesty, I guess.

“Aw don’t be mad at her. She was nice. She just wasn’t you.”

My chest tightens at her words, and I realize for maybe the first time that I haven’t talked much about what’s coming once July hits to her …and she’s the one it affects the most.

I wait until we get home and I’ve gotten her a snack—a fruit roll-up and some Cheez-Its—and I sit next to her at the table.

“Can you turn that off?” I ask, nodding toward her iPad.

Her brows pinch as she clicks the power. “What’s wrong?”

I blow out a breath. “I don’t know if I’ve been specific enough with you,” I say.

“About what?”

I clear my throat. “The reason why Madeline was here last night.” Images of Victoria’s sweet pussy right there hovering above my mouth flash through my mind.

I kick those right out.

It’s not the time.

“To watch me while you went out to dinner with your football friends?” she guesses.

“Well, sort of. Last night, yeah. But it was also a trial run to see how well you two got along. Once the season starts, I won’t be able to drive you to school and pick you up every day. I have more free time now, which is a pretty sweet deal, but my hours are sort of crazy once the season starts, and I’ll be traveling over half the weekends of the season. I need someone who can help me out, like a nanny.”

She twists her lips. “Yeah, I get that, but I didn’t really think about it, I guess.”

“I’m trying to find someone who I trust to help me take care of you when I’m away,” I say, giving her full transparency.

“What about Bella’s mom?” she suggests.

“It’s a good idea and a definite possibility, but only as a last resort. I don’t want to impose on them. It’s a lot to ask someone.”

“Yeah but she’s already driving Bella to and from school so it’s not that much more,” she says.

I nod, keeping my trap shut. She doesn’t need to know about the mental strain of caring for a child. She doesn’t need to know how raising a little girl is so much more than driving her to school and picking her up.

And that’s why I’m sure Madeline isn’t the right fit.

There has to be someone who can help. Maybe if I talk to Coach, he can give me some recommendations. He and his wife never had kids, and Mo is like the team Mom. I make a mental note to ask her later.

“Oh, what about Ms. Hartley? She’s so awesome. She would watch me!”

I shake my head. “No. I know you like her, but she’s your teacher.”

She sighs. “Fine. But I feel like knowing all this changes things.”

“What do you mean?”

She lifts a shoulder. “Let’s do another trial with Madeline and I promise I won’t take advantage this time.”

I narrow my eyes at her. “Like I trust you after the mess you made.”

She purses her lips at me and nods toward the family room. “You cleaned it all up, so I didn’t even learn my lesson.”

Yeah, I had some nervous energy to work off this afternoon.

I don’t tell her that. Instead, I let out a heavy sigh. I got a text from Josh asking if the wide receivers wanted to get together at his place tonight to talk about the new playbook, and I was planning to miss it even though I know I should be there. It’ll be my first chance to go over the playbook, to act out the plays with someone outside of my own mind, to talk about which ones are most important for us to know off the bat. “Fine. There’s a meeting tonight for the wide receivers on my team I’d like to attend. If Madeline’s free, will that work?”

“Sure. Is that what you are? A wide retriever?”

“Receiver,” I say, enunciating the c sound with a dramatic eye roll. “I’m not a dog.”

She giggles, and I text Madeline first to see if she can watch Harper for a few hours tonight even though I’m not totally sure it’s the right move, and when she says she’s wide open for me, I’m even more sure it’s the wrong thing. But I already offered it to Harper, and I’d love to have her involved in the decision of who’s going to care for her long-term.

And then I start to mentally prepare myself for what’s coming next since before I go to Josh’s place, I’m swinging by Victoria’s to confront her about why the fuck she’s already avoiding me.