I close the door behind her as I draw in a deep breath, and Harper runs back to her iPad, completely unaware of how affected I am right now.
Friday nights sure look different than they used to.
I lean back against the door as I try to ignore the feelings pulsing through me after the night we just had.
What the fuck is that? The weird warmth in my chest. The strange way my heart is squeezing right now. The way my brain won’t stop telling me I need to stop her, to get her back in here, to kiss her…
Maybe it’s just the home cooked meal. It’s been a long time since anyone cooked for me with the sort of tenderness she did. Actually, I don’t know if anyone has ever cooked for me like that aside from when I’ve eaten over at a friend’s house, and that was just because their mom was making dinner anyway.
It was fun . It felt like a family there for a little while, like a glimpse of my future where I find a woman to settle down with, someone who can help me raise Harper and maybe even start the kind of life like Tristan has now, where he’s sacrificing everything because he found the right woman. Where he wants a whole horde of kids.
Do I want that?
I never did before, but now that I have one, why not add more to the pack someday?
I missed the entire first decade of Harper’s life, and nothing will ever replace that…but what was it like?
Part of me wants to know, and the other part of me, the old part of me—is pushing back. It’s not like I have to make that decision right now, but it’s the first time the thought has even crossed my mind.
Ever.
It must be the fajitas.
Those fajitas really were kickass, and I wonder what else she can cook. I wonder what other talents she has. I got to see what she’s like when she’s in her element—not her professional element as the reading teacher, not rejecting me at a bar, but just her. She and Harper were laughing together, and I couldn’t help my joy in watching the two of them.
We sang songs together. We had an amazing evening.
I’ve never been one to just sit around. I’ve never been one who waits for the action to happen to me. I make things happen.
And I’ve never really been one who didn’t finish my sentences, but I let that one trail off and hover around us instead of just saying what the fuck I wanted to say.
I don’t know what stopped me. Maybe it was because there were too many ways that sentence could have ended.
Harper will go to bed soon, and then…
And then we could have a drink.
And then we could talk.
And then we could get to know one another.
And then you could tell me why you broke up with your ex.
And then I could try to figure out why you’re so goddamn intriguing to me.
And then we could fuck.
“Harper, go get in the shower, okay?” I yell as my feet spring into action. I open the front door.
“Aw, come on! Let me just finish my game!”
“Fine,” I yell over my shoulder. “Finish your game and then go take your shower.”
“Thanks, dude!”
I close the front door behind me, and she’s still in my driveway. Her face is lit by the light of her phone screen, and I walk over toward the driver’s side door, not sure what I’m going to say but sure I’m not ready for her to leave just yet. I knock on her window, and she jumps then drops her phone, startled.
I can’t help my laugh as her hand rises to her chest and she clicks the button to open the window.
“You scared the shit out of me,” she says, panting a little.
“I’m sorry,” I say, still laughing a little.
“What are you doing?”
I shrug as I blow out a breath. “I don’t really know. I guess I just…wasn’t ready for you to go.”
Her brows pinch together. “Why? Did it go too smoothly? You didn’t want me to go without a final insult?”
My own brows pinch together, too. “Is that what you think of me?”
“That’s your track record,” she points out, and she shrugs, keeping her eyes down on her steering wheel. “I didn’t want to leave, either, but I was afraid to stay.”
“What are you afraid of?” I whisper.
She turns toward me, and when her eyes meet mine, I already know her answer before she says it. “You,” she murmurs.
I think I get it. I’m a little scared of how powerful this could be between us, too.
Okay, I’m terrified of it.
Our feelings for each other are strong, and not always in a good way.
Maybe that’s why we continue to battle. We’re fighting against the very thing we both want, but this is something I’ve never wanted before.
Ever.
And maybe that’s what prompts the next words out of my mouth. “You should be.”
She presses her lips together as she turns back to her staring contest with her steering wheel.
“It’s no secret that I’ve wanted you since the moment I first saw you, Hartley,” I say, my voice a little gravelly. “And every time I see you, I want you a little more.”
“There’s a child involved now, Travis,” she says quietly. “I can’t just be one of your girls you spend the night with and never call again. There’s too much at stake, and I’m not willing to risk her heart for a few minutes of fun.”
“A few minutes?” I scoff. “Try all night.”
She grunts out a chuckle at that. “Regardless, you’re a one and done kinda guy, but I’m not a one and done kinda girl.”
“Maybe you’re making me want more.”
She lets out a soft snort. “I don’t think I’m the right girl for you.”
I press my lips together as I stare out into the street. “Another night, another rejection. Should’ve seen that coming.”
“Trav, I—”
I hold up a hand. “Save it.” And then I turn away from her and storm back into the house feeling like I just ruined one of the best nights I’ve had in a long, long time.
Table of Contents
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