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“Guilty,” I say to the judge.

We didn’t bother trying to get Owen to drop the charges. We both knew he would never do it, and having any contact with him at all at this stage of the game seemed like a bad idea.

“Mr. Woods, you have entered a plea of guilty to the charge of vandalism. Do you understand that by pleading guilty, you are waiving your right to a trial and admitting to the truth of the charge?” the judge asks.

“Yes.” I nod, and the judge says things about what that means, and then he sets the date for sentencing just two and a half weeks from now.

That’ll take us to the start of July. The first Saturday in July is the Imagine Dragons concert.

When I bought those tickets, I never imagined this is where we’d be. I never imagined any of this. I never thought I’d be worried about facing jail time. About being ripped away from my child…my wife. About…any of it.

This all just feels like such a waste of time. There are actual criminals roaming around and the court is tied up with this nonsense.

Nothing changes over the next two and a half weeks while I wait for my sentencing…and yet it feels like everything has changed. Harper is either ignoring me as she plays around on her iPad, or some days she’ll go to school with Victoria for the free tutoring. She’s working hard at becoming a better reader, and it was The Babysitters Club books that started to make her excited to read more. Victoria has been busy with summer school while I’ve been burying myself in workouts and studying.

We went from barely being able to keep our hands off each other to a married couple who only had sex a handful of times since the honeymoon.

I’m cranky all the time since there’s too much jizz built up inside me, which isn’t exactly a medical diagnosis, but my attitude isn’t winning me any points on the sex front.

By the time I get home from meetings or study sessions or workouts, it’s late and I’m exhausted. And she has early mornings with summer classes starting at seven-thirty.

I know our schedules are just opposite right now, but it feels like something more is at play. It feels like I’m slowly starting to see us fall apart, and I’m not sure what I can do to save it.

I’ve never had anything to save before.

I don’t know how this works.

And so I just trudge through each day.

It’s the night before my sentencing—a Sunday night when I’ve been gone all day doing intense workouts at the gym next to the Complex to get ready ahead of training camp and distract myself from the anxiety of the sentencing—when Harper’s laying on the couch across the room from me. I’m watching ESPN to catch today’s highlights, and Victoria is in her casita prepping tomorrow’s lesson plans when Harper clicks her iPad off and looks up at me.

“Can I ask you something?” she begins.

I turn off the television and give my girl my full attention. “Anything. Always.”

“Why did you really get arrested? What happened?”

I press my lips together. I know she’s angry with me. I know she resents me, and I know her “real” dad never would’ve done anything to get in trouble.

I lean forward and set my elbows on my knees. I haven’t told her mostly because I wanted to protect her. But maybe that was the wrong move. Maybe honesty is the better choice here. If I’m ever going to get her to trust me—or to stop resenting me—then she deserves to know.

“You know Victoria used to date Owen, the guy at the wedding in the Bahamas who was at the airport when I got arrested, right?” I begin.

She nods.

“When Victoria broke up with him, he kept a ball that belonged to her. It was a special ball. Her dad caught it at an important game for his favorite team, and he gave it to her to keep. She treasured it, and when Owen wouldn’t give it back to her and he made her upset, I went over to his house. I made a bad choice and I started tearing apart his house to look for it. I made a little bit of a mess, and he took pictures of me as I did it. I broke some things even though I shouldn’t have, but I had to get that ball back. I finally found it and took it back to Victoria, and she convinced him not to ruin her sister’s wedding by having me arrested before we left for the Bahamas. He promised to wait until I got home.” I shrug at the end of the story.

“Is that why you got married?” she asks. Damn, she’s a smart little girl.

“We got married because we love each other. But between you and me, we both wanted to make sure you had someone stable who could be here with you when we knew what was going to happen.”

“That you were going to be arrested?” she guesses, and I nod.

“I’m sorry for what I did. I wish I’d never done it.”

“But you got her special ball back,” Harper says. “That makes you a hero.”

My chest tightens at her words. That’s all I ever want to be in her eyes, and I will do whatever it takes so she continues to see me that way.

The next morning, I head to the court for my fate. Victoria has to teach her class, and Harper goes with her since I don’t want her at the court.

Victoria told me she’d get a sub for the day to be there to support me, and I told her not to bother. It’s just the sentencing. It’s not a big deal.

Except…what if there’s jail time involved? What if they haul me straight to a cell and I don’t get to say goodbye?

The morning is chaotic. Victoria oversleeps, so she jumps out of bed and dashes into the shower. Harper doesn’t want to get out of bed, and I spend it yelling at her and coaxing her into movement. Victoria and I share a quick kiss, and that’s it.

It’s only after the fact that I realize not asking them to be with me at the sentencing is one more thing coming between us. One more step in pushing her away.

I’m not sure why I’m pushing her away, and further, I’m not sure why she’s letting me. A wedge divides us, and I don’t know how to close the gap when it just seems to be getting wider every passing moment.

It must just be me feeling this way.

She hasn’t said anything, but again, it feels like we’ve barely seen each other lately.

Once this sentencing is done, once the league hands down the punishment…maybe we can focus on us again.

Except then we’re just a couple weeks out from training camp. The team will travel to a vineyard in California for the first two weeks, so I’ll be gone with very little time to get in touch with my girls since football will become my life again.

I can’t imagine physical distance will heal the emotional divide.

My lawyer, Allen Young, picks me up with a driver in a huge black Yukon. The driver will wait out front of the courthouse for us so we have an easy getaway. It’s one of the things I have to think about since the public is clamoring to find out what happens today and the place will be swarming with people trying to get photos of me.

On the way to court, he coaches me not to talk to anyone who yells out questions. “Just ignore them,” he says, and I know it’s in my best interest.

It’s not some huge turnout like you see on television, but when we arrive, there are paparazzi gathered and people yelling questions at me as I walk into the courthouse.

I’m thankful Tristan tells me he’ll show up for me so I’m not alone. Ellie will be there, too, and once again I’m aware of and thankful for the people I have in my corner.

And maybe most shocking of all, when I arrive at the courtroom, I find my father already inside.

I also find Owen Platt inside. His jaw seems to be healed. What I wouldn’t give to fuck up the other side of his face…

I ignore him as I walk by him.

When I’m called up, my heart pounds as I await my fate. I cross my fingers and chant in my head.

Please be a fine. No jail time. Please be a fine. No jail time.

If it’s jail time, I’m fucked.

A fine I can handle. But jail time will fuck with this season. We’re cutting it too close now for it not to.

The judge begins. “The defendant, Travis Woods, has been found guilty of misdemeanor vandalism. The court has considered a variety of factors and finds Mr. Woods is not a danger and is likely to comply with the terms of probation.”

I suck in a breath. That has to be a good thing, right?

“Therefore,” the judge continues, “the court sentences the defendant to one year of probation. The defendant must pay a fine of one thousand dollars as well as an additional two thousand dollars in restitution to the plaintiff. If these terms are violated, the court may revoke probation and may sentence Mr. Woods to jail.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. Three grand? I can do that. Probation? Whatever.

I won’t miss time with Harper because of this. I won’t miss time with Victoria because of this.

I won’t miss playing time because of this.

This is the best case scenario.

Allen nudges me, and I say the words he told me to say. “Thank you for your leniency, Your Honor. I apologize for what I’ve done and for taking up the court’s time with this case. I also apologize to my family and friends for any pain or embarrassment I have caused. I am committed to being a law-abiding citizen going forward.”

“Thank you, Mr. Woods,” the judge says. “I don’t doubt that you will honor that commitment.”

I’m dismissed, and I meet with the small group who has gathered here for me out in the lobby. Paparazzi are gathered outside, so we take a beat to celebrate that it’s just a fine. It could’ve been a lot worse.

“Thanks for showing up,” I say to my father, and he gives me a hug.

A hug.

In front of other people.

It’s maybe more shocking than the fact I’m even here today.

We head outside, and a flurry of people fire questions at us. The crowd seems to have picked up in numbers since we first arrived, and the Yukon Allen picked me up in is waiting for us.

“Where’s your wife?” someone yells.

I ignore the voice as I was coached to do, but the thought that she should’ve been here plagues me. Not just for me. Not just to have her here by my side through this tough moment, but also to keep up appearances.

My father said Callahan has been in touch with the courts to try to prove I’m unfit to raise Harper. He’s working on filing a petition and he’s requesting a custody evaluation from the courts.

I might’ve agreed with him a few months ago, but now I feel like I’ve stepped up to be what she needs.

It’s none of this guy’s business how I raise my child.

My child.

But it’s also not Harper’s fault I chose a career in the public eye. She doesn’t deserve any of this. She didn’t deserve to lose her parents. She didn’t deserve to have her life upended. She didn’t deserve to get stuck with someone who doesn’t know the first thing about kids and instead gets arrested for vandalism.

Yet here we are.

Whatever the case, I will not let Callahan take her away from me. I will fight for her until my last breath if that’s what it takes.