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The remaining time we have left before camp starts passes in the blink of an eye. I’m back in Travis’s bed, and in many ways I feel closer to him than ever. It almost feels as if the rough patch is behind us, but I know it isn’t. It can’t be when we’re both still being punished because of things the other did…when we’re both still harboring some resentment deep down. When we both keep pushing those feelings down. It can’t be good. At some point they’re going to bubble over, and it isn’t going to be pretty.

History has shown that it’s inevitable. We’re two passionate people who started out hating each other, and I’m scared of the moment everything shifts again.

Maybe it won’t. I pray it won’t.

I’m enjoying my new position with Ellie, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about how I might be enjoying the position at the district office that was supposed to be mine. The start of a new school year is upon us as we only have two weeks left of summer, and it’ll be different this year with Harper attending Stratford as I drive her there each day but don’t get to stay there with her.

We haven’t talked much about his suspension or his lost endorsements or how he’s feeling about all of it. I want to. I feel like we probably should open that line of communication, but a sense of guilt pervades me every time I even think about it, so we avoid the topic. It’s for the best, but I have a feeling the three weeks he’s serving his suspension are going to be tough on all three of us.

It’s the night before he leaves for two weeks to the private vineyard in California where the Vegas Aces hold their first two weeks of training camp, and I don’t know how to say goodbye.

We’ve shared a lot of intimacy over the past two weeks, and surely we’ll have that tonight, too—but I have this strange feeling like this is far more than goodbye for just two weeks. I’m saying goodbye to everything I’ve come to know with him over the last few months as he jumps headfirst into a new season.

His life will be consumed by the game as I sit on the sidelines with his daughter. I’m concerned she’ll feel abandoned by her father if he isn’t able to call and check in as often as we’re hoping he will.

My role is to be there for her, but I’m going through things, too. I’ll be missing him. I’ll be feeling that deep need to lean on him when I can’t.

We share a nice dinner together, just the three of us. We have a dance party filled with our favorite Imagine Dragons songs before Harper heads to bed.

Travis packs what he needs, and I sit in his bedroom with him while he works.

And through each event of the evening, I feel my anxiety rising. It’s twisting in my stomach.

It’s ridiculous. He’s just going away for two weeks. I don’t know why I’m so emotional about it.

Eventually we’re lying in bed, our bodies entwined, his arms tight around me. He must sense my unease because he pulls back a little, propping himself on an elbow so he can look at me.

“Hey, Hartley,” he says softly. “It’s going to be okay. It’s only two weeks.”

It cuts right to the heart that he knows exactly what’s going on in my head even though I can barely put words to it.

It shows how far we’ve come.

“I know. It’s just hard saying goodbye and not knowing what to expect.”

“We’ll be fine. I’ll miss you like hell, and if you two need anything, I’m just a phone call away. If I can’t answer, leave a message, and if it’s an emergency, I left you Coach’s number on the kitchen counter.”

“I’ll miss you, too,” I say, his words reassuring even though they don’t quell that rising anxiety.

We cling to each other, and then he slips inside me, our bodies rocking together in a slow rhythm as I try to push away the feelings of sadness, like this is goodbye…like this is the last time we’ll have this intimacy.

I pray it’s not some premonition.

I pray I’m wrong.

Morning comes too quickly.

We scramble to get ready before we wake Harper, have a quick breakfast as a family, and hop in the Mercedes to drive Travis to the bus lot where the team is meeting this morning.

I spot Ellie’s car as we pull into the lot. Luke has taken on a larger role with the team as a consultant to the coaches, so he’s heading to California for a few days, too. He won’t be gone the full two weeks, but as we traveled through time closer and closer to this day, the office seemed to get quieter and quieter as we all prepared in our own ways for our husbands leaving for a couple weeks.

The start of a new season means excitement is in the air, but it’s different for the men going on an adventure with their teammates versus the wives and families they’re leaving behind.

Life goes on for those staying here in Vegas. The moms have to take on the workload of two parents since the dads will be away for the better part of the next six months just when we’ve gotten used to having them around.

I never realized what being married to a professional athlete would entail, and I’m not just talking about the paparazzi.

So as we stand outside the team bus, I try to hold back my tears as I watch Harper fall apart. It’s probably hardest on her since he’s largely been her anchor over the last few months.

Goodbyes are happening all around us, but I can’t focus on anyone else when my own heart feels like it’s breaking.

It’s only two weeks. We can do this. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

I’m just being dramatic. It must just be the thought of him starting a new season. I’ve never known him during the season, so part of me feels like I’ll be losing the man I love for the next six months.

Or maybe my heart senses something the rest of me hasn’t quite come to terms with just yet. And that’s perhaps the most terrifying idea of all.

I drag my attention away from those thoughts as I do my best to stay here in the moment. I have to be strong for Harper, and I will do my best to fill all the roles for her. But nobody can replace the man who took her in when she lost her parents, and they’ve grown closer and closer over the last couple months.

“We’ll talk every day,” Travis promises her, but his words don’t dry the tears.

It’s a little surreal standing here watching the players get on the bus. The families stand in the parking lot waving as it turns out of the lot and drives out of sight.

How did I even get here?

It seems like an imaginary journey that I don’t even believe myself half the time, yet here I am, and somehow I fit in with these people, too. Ellie draws me into a hug, and Tessa hugs me next.

These women are starting to become friends now, and I can only imagine how working together through the next couple weeks and beyond will bond us more closely together.

“You and me for two weeks, kiddo,” I say to Harper as she sits quietly in the backseat on the way home. I have some work to do for Ellie today even though she told all of us to take the day off. “What trouble should we get into first?”

She doesn’t crack a smile as I look into my rearview mirror, and it’s only nine in the morning, but I drive straight to an ice cream place that I know is open twenty-four hours, and we drown our sorrows in ice cream. It does help just a fraction of a tiny bit.

We head home, where it’s quiet, and I offer a dance party but she declines. She heads up to her room, and I pull out my laptop and sit at the kitchen table to work on a few things while I let her work this out however she needs to.

I call her down for lunch.

“You doing okay?” I ask as she digs into her macaroni with hot dogs cut up—comfort food since she clearly needs it today.

She nods. “Yeah, I’m okay.” She fishes out a chunk of hot dog.

“You want to talk about it?”

She shrugs.

“Usually you’re so open with me, babe. What’s going on?” I ask.

“Are you mad at my dad?” she asks.

I shake my head. “Why would you think that?”

She’s quiet a beat as she fishes out some more hot dog. “I just don’t want you to leave us. I’ve lost enough.”

Tears press behind my eyes at her words. This sweet little girl is right. She has lost enough, and it’s tragic.

I will not be another person she loses. Ever.

“I love you,” I say softly.

Her eyes lift to mine. “I love you, too.”

My heart melts.

I know I’ll never replace her mother, and I don’t want to. She should hold tight to the memories she has of her. But having a bond with this little girl, having someone trust me the way she does, loving her and caring for her…it’s all I’ve ever wanted out of life.

I had no idea when I rejected Travis Woods that he would turn around and give me everything I ever hoped for.