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“Divorce papers?” I ask quietly once we’re back in the kitchen. She’s standing on one side of the counter, and I’m standing on the other. I hate how it feels like we’re already pitted against each other.

The only item on the countertop is my phone, which I set there before we headed upstairs to tuck in Harper.

It’s a face-off, but I don’t want it to be. I want to get through this together, but I already know the divide is too wide. Maybe the counter between us symbolizes that.

She sucks in a breath. “The contract you had me sign said I could get out at any time. I’ve decided to exercise that right. It’ll be quick and easy since the terms were laid out in the paperwork you gave me.”

“And you thought just leaving the folder on my dresser was the way to go about doing that?”

“I didn’t know when you were coming home,” she says pointedly. “You stopped communicating with me, and I set it there so it wasn’t sitting out on the kitchen table for Harper to find. It’s not how I planned to talk to you about it.”

I press my lips together and glance down at the countertop before my eyes move back to hers. She’s studying the same countertop, her eyes refusing to meet mine. I don’t want to point fingers even though clearly she blames me for all of this. I don’t want to get angry. I don’t want to fight. I just want to talk. “Then what was the plan?”

She shakes her head a little. “I don’t know. I guess I figured we’d eventually have a chance to talk, and I’d tell you where I’m at.”

“And where’s that?” I’m trying to keep emotion out of my tone. She seems fairly set in what she wants to do, and I’m not sure trying to convince her otherwise is the right move here. I reach into my pocket and pull out a quarter, and I start to flip it just to keep my hands busy. To keep my mind occupied. To focus on something other than the pain that’s ripping my chest apart.

“This is all…it’s just a lot more than I bargained for. We rushed into this, and I lost my job because of you. People look at me different now.”

“Who gives a fuck what anybody else thinks?” I demand.

She lifts a shoulder. “Me. I care. I was building a reputation in my career, doing something I loved, and I lost that. When the marijuana thing came out, I told myself I could get past it even though I found out from Ellie and not you. You stopped communicating with me, but I tried to understand anyway. You were hurting and just wanted some relief. But this sex club thing…” She shakes her head. “It’s too much. Paparazzi are taking my photo when I get to Ellie’s so they can show the world how I’m reacting to your mistakes. I love you, but it’s not enough. We rushed into this, and we’ve gotten to the point where I think it’s better if we just cut our losses and move on.”

“Cut our losses?” I ask softly. Her eyes finally move to mine. “Maybe it was rushed for you, but for me…” I close my eyes as I think about this actually being the end. “I love you in a way I’ve never loved another person. It was fast, sure, but it was also right. You’re everything to me. To us. You’re part of this family. Don’t do this, Victoria.”

“I have to,” she whispers. “I can’t live like this. I can’t keep waiting for another shoe to drop, Travis. We’re all out of shoes here.”

“I don’t want you to leave me,” I murmur. “I don’t want to lose you.”

She presses her lips together as another thought pops into my head.

“What about Harper?” I ask softly as I slip the quarter back into my pocket.

She shakes her head. “It’s not fair to use her to hold onto this.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.” I hold up both hands. “I would never. I just mean in terms of our nanny arrangement.”

“I’ve thought about that, and I can just stay in my casita until you find a replacement for me.”

I blow out a breath. I hate this. I hate everything about it.

But if she’s still in the house attached to mine, maybe I can find a way to fight.

My phone starts to ring, and we both can see it’s my father calling.

“You should probably get that,” she says, nodding toward my phone. “Goodnight, Travis.”

I stare after her as she disappears from the room, and eventually I pick up my phone. “Hey.”

“I’ve got some bad news,” he says, cutting right to the chase. “The judge reviewing Jerry’s petition decided to move up your hearing. It’s scheduled for August twentieth, and my guess is he moved it up because of the latest headlines.”

“Fuck,” I mutter. It’s only a couple weeks away, and I’ll still be at camp.

“It’s a Monday.”

“We have practice on Mondays during camp,” I say.

“It won’t look good if you can’t be there, Travis. I know how important the game is, but consider what else is important.”

Maybe Coach will understand, but after the way I’ve let him down time and again over the last few weeks, I’m not sure I have the balls to ask.

I will ask, though. This is my chance to hold onto my girl. I won’t lose her.

I can’t.

Not when she’s all I have left.

The next day is Harper’s first day of school, and we spend the morning pretending for her sake. We take photos, and I sense Victoria pulling further and further away.

This should be her first day, too. But it isn’t. Because of me.

She spends the day at Ellie’s house working, and it’s my one day off before we hit camp hard again tomorrow.

I wait until Harper gets home, and then I know I can’t keep this inside any longer. Victoria is still at Ellie’s, and maybe I should wait for her so we can tell Harper together, but that this is us now. It’s just me and Harper, and that’s how it started, too.

I need to be honest with her.

It’s with a thundering heart that I grab her an after-school snack and sit down across from her. “I have something to tell you,” I begin.

She tilts her head as her eyes meet mine. “What’s up?”

I suck in a breath. “Two things. First, my father called to let me know the Callahans are petitioning to rule me unfit to raise you.”

A look of terror darts through her eyes. “What? But…you’ll win, right?”

I nod. “I promise to do everything I can to protect you and keep you here with me.”

“What can I do to make sure of that?” Her little brows knit together, and I sort of regret telling her. I regret causing her any pain at all, even though telling her about the divorce isn’t going to go over well.

“Nothing, ladybug. I’ve got this.”

“You sure?” she asks, narrowing her eyes at me.

“You want to stay here?”

“Of course I do. You and Harts are the best.”

“I have one other thing I need to tell you,” I say softly.

She sets down her Fruit by the Foot to look up at me, her wide eyes full of innocence despite the hardships she’s endured since March.

I clear my throat as a dart of anxiety flits through me. This isn’t going to be easy. “Victoria and I have decided to get divorced. She’ll remain your nanny until I can find a replacement.”

Her eyes harden as she stares at me. “A replacement?”

I nod.

“Nobody can replace her,” my daughter hisses at me. “Why are you getting divorced?”

“Lots of reasons,” I begin, but she interrupts me as she leaps out of her chair.

“You know what? Forget it,” she snarls. “I don’t want to know why. It’s your fault, and I hate you! I don’t want to live here anymore. I’d rather go back to the creepy clown house than spend another night here. I wish I never met you.”

She takes those words with her as she runs out of the room, leaving me alone in the kitchen as regret fills me.

To be concluded in book 5, FIELD GOAL