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FOUR

FRIDAY 24 JANUARY

Rowan pours Kate a glass of water. Her hand trembles as she takes it, and she hopes he doesn’t notice. He observes everything, though – that’s his job. She gulps it so fast it hurts her throat.

‘Kate – you did what you had to do to stop him. You were a child. I know it still haunts you but that’s in the past.’

‘Graham White will never be in the past,’ Kate says. ‘He’s made me the person I am today, don’t you see that? Everything in my life has been determined by what happened.’

Rowan bites his lip. She’s offended him with her acerbic tone and she needs to rein it in. She can’t turn him against her, not when he’s the one person who can help her.

‘I mistrust everyone because of him. I’ve put up barriers to protect myself that stop me living my life fully. That man might be dead, but he’s won. He broke me.’

‘Remember what I told you before? Focus on the good in your life. You have a wonderful son. A career you’ve worked hard for. Don’t lose sight of that.’ Rowan pauses. ‘Can I tell you what I think?’

‘Yes. Please do.’

‘I think your guilt over what happened when you were fifteen has carried over to this night you spent with this married man. And now that he’s dead, it’s exacerbated your feelings of guilt. But you had nothing to do with this man’s death. It was just terribly unfortunate.’

‘Graham White’s death was different, though,’ Kate says. ‘I killed him.’ And she hasn’t told Rowan that she found Jamie dead. He would never believe that she had nothing to do with it.

‘In self-defence. You didn’t know he’d die. You were just trying to get away from him.’

This doesn’t matter to Kate. She has become the person people think she is, the label they have foisted upon her. And the reality of what happened when she was fifteen doesn’t stop the nightmares. Or the devastating pain that has been stirred up again because she found Jamie Archer’s body. Is it just paranoia, or is he, too, dead because of her?

‘And you were never charged with Graham White’s death,’ Rowan continues. ‘As far as the police were concerned, there was no crime. Can we get back to why you think you’re in danger?’

He won’t say this, but he knows Kate is holding back. Perhaps he doesn’t truly want to know any more gritty details of her life. ‘Shall we talk about this woman?’ He leans forward, again. It’s starting to annoy her that he always does this. ‘Do you need to call the police?’ he says.

‘No! Not the police. Not after last time. I can’t…I can’t deal with that. The interrogation. No. I can’t go back there.’

Rowan sighs. ‘This isn’t like last time,’ he assures her. ‘You haven’t done anything. You won’t be in any trouble.’

But he has no idea. And I can’t tell him because he’d be legally obliged to inform the police that I’m a witness in Jamie Archer’s murder.

‘I slept with a stranger,’ Kate says.

‘I think you know that’s not a crime.’

She places her glass on the table by her chair.

‘Kate. I really think you should tell me about this woman. It’s understandable you’d worry she’s upset about you and her ex, but why do you think she wants to kill you?’

Kate takes a deep breath and begins.

THREE DAYS AGO, TUESDAY 21 JANUARY

Kate is early picking up Thomas. It had been quiet at the surgery so David had ushered her out, assuring her he’d cover on his own. She’d been reluctant to leave – she’s been avoiding Aleena at the school gates all week because it’s an easier pill to swallow than lying to her closest friend about what happened after she left the bar on Friday night. Kate’s already done enough of that – Aleena knows nothing of her past with Graham White – and now she’s somehow involved in another death. Jamie Archer .

She’s tried to search for a connection between the two men, but there’s nothing online. Jamie isn’t some relative of Graham’s – distant or otherwise. Kate stops and sits on a low wall outside the Sainsbury’s Local near the school, and googles Graham White again. She again pores over articles written at the time, even though she doesn’t need to – she knows every detail of Graham White’s life – thirty-nine years old when he died – only two years older than she is now. A partner called Jennifer Seagrove, who’d left him the day before he’d thrown Kate in the van and abducted her. At the time, police concluded that the end of his relationship had sent him spiralling out of control, and that he’d seen Kate walking home and full of rage had acted impulsively. There’d been nothing in the van to suggest premeditation. There is no excuse for what he did to Kate – for what he would have done to her. The man was sick in the head. Kate stares at the photo of Jennifer, smiling for the camera, her head resting on Graham White’s shoulder. How can a man who looks so innocent, so in love with his partner, have been such a monster?

Jennifer shut down after talking to the police, refusing to speak about Graham, insisting their relationship was over so it was nothing to do with her. Kate always wondered why this didn’t strike people as odd; Jennifer and Graham White had been together for three years and then suddenly she cut him off and never looked back, even when he died.

Even though she’s done it before, Kate types Jennifer’s name into Google, once again coming up with no match for the woman who was seeing Graham White. Anything could have happened to her – it’s been over twenty years so she may not even be alive.

Graham had no children or siblings. Parents who were now both dead. Nobody who would be seeking vengeance for his death. And even if there was someone out there, why would they wait twenty-two years?

Slipping her phone back in her pocket, Kate assures herself it’s just coincidence. That she has just been unlucky twice in her life. Wrong place, wrong time. Jamie could have gone home with anyone the other night – it just happened to be her.

She walks towards the café near the school, pausing outside; she’s still too early to turn up at the school gates.

Stepping inside, a blast of warm air envelops her, and she unzips her coat. It’s too warm in here, and she considers ordering her coffee in a takeaway cup and sitting outside where she’ll be able to breathe.

Kate places her order and hears someone call her name. She scans the coffee shop and sees Aleena sitting in the corner, at the table the two of them always try to commandeer whenever they’re here. Aleena beckons her over, and with no choice, Kate forces a smile and makes her way towards her friend.

‘Where have you been?’ Aleena asks, standing up to hug Kate. ‘I haven’t seen you since you abandoned me at the bar. I can’t believe you went home so early.’ She sits again and taps something on her laptop before closing it.

‘Work’s been so busy,’ Kate says. ‘You know how it is. Anyway, it’s only been a few days.’

Aleena frowns. ‘Yep, a few days of silence.’ She pauses. ‘Well, at least you’re alive. Hope you don’t mind me saying this, but you look exhausted.’

‘I haven’t been sleeping too well.’

‘You know what that could be, don’t you?’ Aleena lowers her voice. ‘Perimenopause. I read about it – it can start in your thirties. Did you know that? And sleep disruption is definitely a symptom.’

‘Yeah, it must be that,’ Kate says, assuring Aleena she’ll make an appointment with the doctor.

While Aleena catches her up on what’s been happening with her this week, a woman in a quilted coat and baseball cap walks in, her reddish-brown ponytail protruding from the gap at the back. She keeps her head down and speaks softly to order her drink, as if she’s trying to avoid being noticed.

Aleena stops talking and looks up, staring at the woman for a moment. ‘There’s that new mum whose son’s just started Year 5,’ she whispers. ‘Her name’s Harper Nolan. I wonder if Theo has played with him today.’ She turns back to Kate. ‘I mean, what do you say?’ Aleena continues. ‘Poor kid. I can’t even imagine what it must feel like.’

Kate turns back to the woman. ‘I didn’t know a new boy had started. And what do you mean? What’s happened?’ She takes a sip of coffee, ready to switch off when Aleena tells her whatever rumours she’s heard. Kate wants no part of it.

Aleena frowns. ‘He started after the October half term. Didn’t Thomas say anything? Theo always tells me when there’s a new kid starting. He thinks it’s exciting or something.’

‘But what’s happened to this boy?’

‘You really haven’t heard? I thought everyone knew. Well, I suppose you’ve had a lot going on. It was mentioned in the WhatsApp group.’ Her eyes narrow. ‘Oh, I forgot – you haven’t been checking your phone.’

Guilt wedges in Kate’s throat. ‘Aleena, I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

Aleena glances at Harper Nolan again, and when she speaks her voice is barely audible. ‘Her husband was the man who was found murdered at the weekend in his apartment. His name was Jamie.’