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TWENTY

FRIDAY 31 JANUARY

Rowan is running late. It’s three minutes past ten and he’s never overrun before. Behind the reception desk, Frieda shifts her glasses down and looks at Kate. ‘I do apologise. He had to fit someone in as an emergency this morning. He shouldn’t be too long.’ She smiles before turning back to her computer.

It’s nearly twenty past by the time his door opens and a tall, thin woman steps out. She’s wearing a fitted black dress and knee-high leather boots, and looks more as though she’s been to a party than a therapy session. She catches Kate’s eye and smiles, looking her up and down, probably making judgements about Kate’s casual attire: loose joggers and trainers.

For a moment Kate watches her, intrigued by what has brought her here to Rowan. ‘I’m so sorry for the delay,’ Rowan says, standing at his door. ‘An emergency, I’m afraid.’

‘The woman who just left looked fine,’ Kate says. ‘You must have helped her.’ Of course Rowan will detect the annoyance in her voice; once again Kate needs to suppress her anger. ‘It’s fine,’ she says.

‘Of course, you’ll have your full hour,’ he explains, closing the door.

Kate sinks onto the sofa.

‘So, how did it go with the police?’ Rowan asks. ‘It must have been hard.’

‘I haven’t been to the police. Yet. I made a promise to do it, and I’ll keep my promise, but I need to do it on my own terms.’

‘Okay.’

‘I found something out, and I don’t know what to feel about it. Ellis knew Jamie.’

Rowan raises his eyebrows. ‘I see. And how do you know this?’

‘It doesn’t matter. But Ellis is denying it.’

‘Is there a chance you’ve got it wrong and he’s telling the truth?’

‘Of course there’s a chance. But I can tell when Ellis is lying, and he definitely was. He’s seen Jamie before. I know it. And it’s just more evidence that Jamie didn’t come into my life by chance.’

Rowan considers what she’s said. ‘So…you think Ellis had something to do with it?’

‘I don’t want to believe that. He’s the father of my child. I’ve trusted him with my past. With everything. And if it was anything to do with him, then this is far worse than his affair.’

‘Remember when we talked before about coincidences. How they’re much more common than people believe. Perhaps they met briefly through work? It doesn’t mean that it’s got anything to do with you meeting Jamie or spending the night with him. If it were me – I’d want definitive proof. Speculation serves no purpose. It does no good.’

‘There’s more that’s happened,’ Kate says. ‘My closest friend found out about Graham White. She says it was from that podcast a couple of years ago. I thought I didn’t have to worry about that any more. But that podcaster has grown massively in the last year or so. And all her podcasts are online for anyone to listen to any time. This will never go away.’

Rowan nods. ‘Okay, but I’ll remind you again – you did nothing wrong, Kate. Even if people find out, you have nothing to worry about.’

‘Except condemnation. Being labelled a murderer. Like I was back then.’

‘Oh, Kate. The labels people inflict on us don’t make them real. Only what we believe about ourselves holds any weight. Tell me how I can help you – what do you need me to do? It’s not to tell you what to do, is it? Because I have. Go to the police. Let them work it all out. That’s the only thing that will help you.’

‘I…I need you to believe me. Not just tell me you do. I need you to believe I’m not a murderer.’

Rowan takes so long to answer that Kate pictures herself running from here and never coming back.

‘Oh, Kate, there is no question in my mind that you’re innocent. None whatsoever.’

Weight lifts from her shoulders at his words.

‘But,’ he continues, ‘this is the last time I can see you. I’m so sorry, but I think we’re treading an ethical line here. I don’t think I’m the person who can help you, even if you go to the police. I’m going to have to refer you to someone else.’

She’s numb as she makes her way to Thomas’s school. With all the things that have happened to her over the last two weeks, Rowan’s bombshell shouldn’t have hit her this hard. She’d been hoping she could persuade him to give her more time before she had to go to the police – just enough to prove that it was Harper who killed Jamie out of rage, and that Kate had nothing to do with it.

Kate scans the school playground, looking for Harper. As far as she knows, Dex isn’t in any after-school clubs. There are a few parents she knows chatting by the gate, so she pulls out her phone and holds it to her ear, to deter anyone from approaching her.

It works, and she’s left in peace until the gates open and the basketball coaches begin dismissing the kids one by one. Kate searches the line – Thomas is usually near the back, but she can’t see him. Moving closer so that she can see all the kids, her stomach tightens when she sees he’s not there. The line gets shorter and soon there is only one child left, who quickly points to his mum and heads towards her.

Kate rushes up to one of the coaches. ‘Where’s Thomas?’ she asks.

He frowns. ‘Um, Thomas didn’t come today. We got a message from the office saying he was missing basketball today.’

‘No,’ Kate says. ‘Thomas was meant to be here.’ Turning away, she pulls out her phone and calls Ellis. ‘Have you got Thomas?’ she asks, the second he answers.

‘No. It’s your weekend. What’s going on?’

‘I’ll call you back.’ Kate hangs up and rushes to the office, pressing the buzzer and peering through the glass doors.

The door clicks open and Ruth comes out of the office, strolling over and smiling. ‘Everything okay, Mrs Mason?’ she asks.

‘No! Thomas wasn’t at basketball and I don’t know where he is!’

Ruth frowns. ‘Oh, but you called this morning and said Dexter Nolan’s mum was picking him up after school for a playdate. Nancy took the call and let the basketball coaches know.’

Kate stares at her as she processes Ruth’s words. She hadn’t heard from Harper and assumed there was no way she’d believe the playdate was still on. Kate’s about to tell Ruth that she’s wrong, that it wasn’t Kate who called, and this is a dreadful safeguarding incident, but it would take too long. ‘Yeah. Sorry, I’ve been busy at work and completely forgot. Sorry.’ She rushes off without giving Ruth a chance to respond, but before the door closes Ruth calls out, asking if everything is okay. Kate ignores her; she needs to find her son.

Harper answers the door with a smirk on her face. ‘How lovely to see you, Kate,’ she says, glancing behind her.

‘Where’s my son? Where’s Thomas?’ Kate pushes past Harper and stands in the hallway. ‘Thomas!’ she shouts.

‘He’s fine, Kate. He’s upstairs with Dexter. They’re having a great time. I hope you don’t mind – I’ve given the boys some biscuits and I’ve got pizza for dinner. Oh, I know it’s not the healthiest thing, but what harm does the odd treat do? Actually, you’re a bit early for picking Thomas up. Didn’t we say seven?’

‘What the hell are you doing?’ Kate hisses. ‘You abducted my son from school!’

Harper’s eyes widen. ‘Don’t tell me you forgot!’ she exclaims. ‘Oh, I know you’ve had such a lot on your mind lately, but we had this planned, didn’t we, and Dexter reminded Thomas at school. I had a feeling you might have forgotten. And Thomas said you wouldn’t mind if he missed basketball just this once. Otherwise I would have had to make two trips to school.’

‘I’ve been wondering what it is about you that just isn’t right,’ Kate says. ‘And now I think I’ve finally worked it out. You act nothing like a grieving wife who’s just lost her husband. Why is that, Harper?’

The smile on Harper’s face disappears. ‘What exactly are you saying, Kate?’

‘That I don’t trust you. Or believe a word that comes from your mouth.’

Thomas appears at the top of the stairs. ‘Hi, Mum,’ he says. ‘But it’s not time to go yet. I’ve only just got here! We’re about to watch the fourth Harry Potter.’

Seeing that Thomas is okay calms Kate. Harper hasn’t done anything to him. ‘Can you get your things? We need to get home. Now.’

‘Why? We haven’t had dinner yet. We’re having pizza.’

‘No, I’m sorry but we have to go. I can do pizza at home. Sorry, Thomas. Quick, go now. Get your stuff.’ She fails to keep the urgency from her voice.

With a huff, Thomas marches back upstairs and Kate waits until he’s disappeared before turning back to Harper. ‘Pull a stunt like that again and?—’

‘And you’ll what? Call the police? I doubt that very much. You’re the last person who’ll want the police involved. In fact, you’re lucky I haven’t called them myself. It’s still an option, of course. But I prefer to deal with things myself. Can’t rely on other people, can you? Too many loopholes. Too much bureaucracy.’ She smiles. ‘At least I know I can get things done. Make things happen. You’ve just had a taste of that today. Of how easy it is for me to manipulate things.’ Her eyes bore into Kate.

But Kate refuses to be intimidated. ‘Maybe there’s another reason you haven’t told the police,’ she says, stepping closer to Harper so that there’s no chance either of the boys will hear.

‘And what’s that supposed to mean?’

Before Kate can answer, Thomas and Dex thunder down the stairs, laughing with their heads together as if they’ve known each for years rather than a couple of weeks.

‘Why does Thomas have to go?’ Dex says to Harper. ‘It’s not fair, Mum.’

‘I know it’s disappointing,’ Harper says, fixing her eyes on Kate. ‘But we’ll see Thomas again soon – I promise you that.’

‘Bye, Thomas,’ Dex says. ‘Thanks for coming.’

‘Let’s definitely do it again soon,’ Harper says, ruffling Thomas’s hair. ‘Now that you two are such good friends, we’ll have to make sure you see lots of each other, isn’t that right, Kate?’

Ignoring her, Kate ushers Thomas out to the car, holding her breath until they’re driving away, and Harper’s road disappears in the rear-view mirror.

Harper has crossed a line, dragged Kate’s son into this, and the only way to win against her, to make sure she can’t harm Thomas in any way, is to bring her down.