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TWELVE

MONDAY 27 JANUARY

The weekend has crawled past, and Kate feels as though she’s been holding her breath, waiting for something else to happen. The calendar entry has unsettled her. She had no idea when Jamie’s birthday was, and she would never have written it on the calendar. It has to be Harper’s doing.

Kate has expected Harper to message her, but her phone has been eerily silent. Even Aleena hasn’t responded, despite Kate sending a message to apologise for letting her down again. All of this makes Kate even more uneasy.

And she still hasn’t heard back from the one person she needs to speak to. She tries again now, but again it goes to voicemail. ‘We really need to talk. Now. I’ll keep calling until you answer me. I don’t have any choice.’

After walking Thomas to school, stepping into the surgery feels unfamiliar this morning, as if Kate no longer belongs there. She thinks about Brighton, where her mother moved them after Graham White, and part of her aches for it. Her safe place, away from everything that’s happened to her. She should never have come back to London – it was insanity to think that coming back here in her twenties could heal her, that she could confront the city where something so heinous had begun. And now it’s happening all over again.

She and Thomas could start a new life by the coast, away from all of this. Before it’s too late.

She switches on the lights, bathing the reception area in a warm, golden glow. Her eyes are drawn to the photos of pets adorning the walls, the adverts for pet food and the insurance the surgery offers, the reminders for pet owners to keep up to date with their inoculations. A flood of defiance surges through her. This is her surgery – hers and her business partner David’s – and she won’t let anything drive her away.

The cleaners have already been, leaving behind the faint odour of bleach and gleaming floors that will be patterned with muddy paw prints by the end of the day.

Alone in the surgery – it will be an hour before Lara the receptionist arrives – Kate makes green tea and takes it to her office at the back of the building, turning on the computer to check today’s bookings. There are no surgeries, but a long list of consultations in the morning.

Kate looks up to see David standing in the doorway. ‘Hey,’ he says. ‘You okay? Are you sure you don’t need to take some time off?’

Last Monday she’d let David believe that if she didn’t seem herself, it was because of her impending divorce. Nothing to do with her sleeping with a man one night only to find him dead the next day.

‘I really don’t need to take time off,’ Kate says. ‘I’m fine. Being here is good for me.’

David smiles. ‘Just don’t forget you hardly used any leave last year. And you covered for me loads so I owe you.’

‘You had your daughter’s wedding – it was the least I could do.’

‘Still. Just think about taking a break once in a while.’

Kate had met David eight years ago when they’d both worked for a large veterinary practice in Hammersmith. She’d immediately liked his strong work ethic, and the way he cared for the animals, and they’d hit it off. She’d kept that wall around her though, meaning he would never know the whole of her, but she felt as comfortable as she could around him. As long as they didn’t talk about anything personal, which thankfully David never did. Sometimes he’d look at her as if he wanted to ask her something, but he’d always refrain. At forty-nine, with a wife and three grown-up children, their lives never crossed outside of work.

When he’d asked her if she wanted to start a practice with him, Kate had initially said no. Being tied to something that she couldn’t easily walk away from terrified her. But he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and two years ago The Pet Clinic opened. At the same time as the podcast about Graham White. Kate shudders to think of this, of how it triggered memories she’d thought she’d managed to bury. All of this – owning the surgery, and having to confront her past – is what led Kate to seek help from Rowan.

‘Being at work is like a break,’ Kate tells David.

‘Oh, I almost forgot,’ David says, pulling off his coat. His cheeks are red from the cold and he rubs his hands together. ‘A man came in asking for you the other week. It must have been a Friday as you were off.’

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah, sorry I forgot to mention it last week. It’s been a busy week.’

Kate looks up from her computer. ‘What did he want? Did he leave his name?’

‘No, don’t think he did. He just said his dog didn’t respond well to male vets so he wanted a female. Told me you’d been recommended to him. He said he’d come back on Monday but he never did. I’d forgotten all about it. Thought it was a bit weird to be honest.’

‘Maybe he’ll come back,’ Kate says. ‘Or maybe he found somewhere else.’

‘That’s the thing,’ David says, pulling out his phone. ‘I don’t think he will.’

Kate stares at him. ‘Why?’

‘Because I’m sure it’s this guy.’ David holds out his phone to Kate, and she finds herself staring at a photo of Jamie Archer. The only one she’s found of him online when she’s checked each day. ‘And he was found dead last Saturday.’

Focusing on the animals forces away all the disturbing thoughts clouding Kate’s mind, masking the sense that her life is rapidly imploding. But when the morning consultations are over, once again darkness spreads over her. She’d let herself believe that meeting Jamie had been nothing more than a chance encounter, but David’s revelation is proof that he knew who Kate was before they met at the bar that evening.

Kate can’t wrap her head around how he could have known she’d be at Tequila Mockingbird – only she and Aleena knew where they were going. And they’d only decided on that bar earlier that week. It had been Aleena’s recommendation, and nobody else’s…Kate realises that Ellis also knew – she’d mentioned it to him when he’d picked up Thomas that evening. They’d laughed at the name. Tequila Mockingbird. Now she can’t see how they ever found it funny. Kate considers messaging Aleena to ask her if she’d mentioned to anyone where they were going that night, but how would she ever explain why she was asking?

Questions burn in Kate’s head as she finally sits down and pulls out the salad she brought from home. What did Jamie want with her? Since the incident with Graham White, Kate’s kept her head down, minded her own business and never had any trouble with anyone. Whenever she’s felt her temper rising, she’s walked away, stifled emotions that must be trapped inside her, ready to erupt.

Graham White is the only enemy she’s made, but whenever Kate’s checked online, there’s been nothing to suggest any connection between Jamie and Graham White. So what is she missing?

Her phone buzzes in her bag and she checks her messages. Three from Harper, all sent within the same hour earlier this morning. One asking how Kate is, another suggesting they go for a coffee after school today, and the last one telling Kate she’s worried she hasn’t had a reply from her.

Kate stares at her phone and considers switching it off, but she needs it on in case the school need to contact her about Thomas for any reason. Though Harper’s obsessiveness is really unsettling her.

In a couple of hours Harper will be at the school gates – they both live too far from school for their children to walk on their own – and Kate is sure Harper intends to look for her. There’s nowhere to hide. She pulls out her phone and sends a message to Ellis. Could you pick Thomas up from school? Emergency at work.

Within seconds his reply comes. Working from home today so fine with me. Everything okay?

Kate hastily replies, telling him she needs to stay later at work.

As soon as Ellis’s response comes – a thumbs up and two kisses – she slips her phone in her bag and shoves it in her drawer. ‘I’ll do the surgery on the Taylors’ cat,’ she tells David when she finds him in the reception area, sorting out a problem with the booking system with their receptionist Lara.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes. You leave early. I’m happy to stay late and monitor Lucky.’

‘Thanks, Kate,’ David says, turning back to the computer. ‘I could actually do with getting home early today.’

Envying their normality, she watches David and Lara for a moment, engrossed in their task, their minds free of turmoil. And with her stomach twisting into knots, Kate slips out to her office.

She attempts to reason with herself: It’s been nine days since Jamie was murdered; if the police had any idea that Kate was in his flat, they would have knocked on her door by now. Her keyring had nothing personal on it that could lead them to her. Yes, her DNA will be all over Jamie’s sheets, and the glass she drank from, but they’d have to know about Kate to link her to it. If Harper or anyone else had any evidence, then it would be in the hands of the police. But now it seems likely that Jamie sought her out and made sure he bumped into her that Friday night. He couldn’t have predicted that she’d go back to that flat with him, or that she’d sleep with him. She casts her mind back and finds nothing predatory in the way Jamie acted towards her. He never once pushed her to do anything – Kate had done what she wanted to do.

With nothing online to help her, it can only be Harper who will lead her to the truth. Kate won’t stop until she finds out what Jamie wanted with her, and why he ended up dead. And who is targeting her because of it.

Chatter greets her the moment she steps into her house – Ellis’s throaty laugh followed by Thomas’s chuckle – and for the briefest moment it feels like it did before the separation, as if time has been erased. But Kate’s thrown back to reality when her phone pings and she sees Harper’s name. A voicemail this time. Once again, she ignores it and goes to the kitchen, where she finds Ellis and Thomas playing Uno.

‘Hi,’ she says, forcing a smile and hugging Thomas. She turns to Ellis. ‘Thanks for doing pick-up, Ellis.’

‘You’re welcome.’

‘Dad! You’ll lose again if you don’t concentrate,’ Thomas warns.

Ellis studies his cards before placing one down.

‘Don’t you need to get back?’ Kate asks.

‘Nope. All done for the day.’ He smiles at Thomas. ‘Pick up two!’

‘Great,’ Thomas moans. ‘Mum, can Dad stay for dinner?’ He places a card on the table. ‘Please?’

Kate glances at Ellis. ‘I don’t think so. Maybe another time?’

Ellis nods and turns back to his cards, masking his disappointment, she’s sure. And when Kate looks at Thomas, the sadness on his face is too much to bear.

‘Maybe it’s okay,’ she says. ‘We’re only having pasta, though.’

‘My favourite,’ Ellis says, even though they all know he’d rather avoid it.

After they eat – all of them pretending it’s a regular family dinner – Ellis helps Kate clear away while Thomas goes upstairs to have his bath. ‘What happened to the calendar?’ he asks, nodding his head towards the fridge.’

‘It got ruined. I spilled milk all over it so had to throw it out.’

‘Oh.’ He smiles. ‘Make sure you don’t forget anything.’

Kate doesn’t respond, and focuses on rinsing the plates.

‘Are you okay?’ Ellis asks. ‘You seem…quiet.’

‘Just tired. Work’s been busy this week. I operated on a cat today. She’s twenty-one – that’s a hundred in human years. She’s an amazing animal.’

He nods, but Kate can tell he’s not listening, even though he’s looking right at her. Behind his eyes is something unspoken.

‘What is it?’ she asks. ‘Something’s wrong.’

Ellis smiles. ‘You know me so well.’

‘Just spit it out.’

‘Maddy wants us to move in together.’

Kate’s breath catches in her throat for a moment, before she recovers herself. ‘Do it then.’

‘But we’ve only been together properly for a couple of months. I don’t count that one night a couple of years ago. Or the few times we’ve met up and tried to make it work. How do I know it will even work this time?’

‘Do you love her?’ Kate asks.

He hesitates, and in that brief silence she has her answer. ‘Please tell me this isn’t about me. Our marriage is over, Ellis.’

‘It doesn’t have to be,’ he says, reaching for her hand.

Kate pulls away; she can’t let Ellis drag her back in, especially now. ‘We’re separated. There’s no going back, you know that.’

‘Kate, I know you inside out. You don’t have to start again with someone else. And have to explain your past all over again. You know I get it all, and I’ve supported you one hundred per cent.’

A vision of Jamie flashes into her mind. ‘What makes you think I want to start again? I’m happy for it to be just me and Thomas. I don’t need anyone or anything else.’

‘You never have needed anyone, have you? So determined to do it all yourself. But Kate – we all need people to help us get through stuff.’

Kate knows this – as independent as she is, she’s come to rely on Rowan Hess. She doesn’t mention this to Ellis. He knows she has therapy sessions – he’d encouraged it when she’d told him she thought it was time she faced her past – but Kate’s aware that Ellis thinks she shouldn’t still need them after two years.

‘I think you should stop this,’ she says. ‘Stop even entertaining ideas of us. It’s not fair to Maddy. She…she loves you.’

‘And you’re my wife.’

‘Not any more.’ She turns away. ‘Can you just go?’

There’s a long pause, but still she doesn’t turn around to face him.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says eventually. ‘I should never have said all this. I’ll say goodbye to Thomas.’

Kate watches Ellis leave, surprised that she has no tears left to cry.

Later, she sits in Thomas’s room, listening as he talks about his day. Kate lets his words soak in, forcing all other thoughts from her head. ‘Can I go to Dex’s house again?’ he asks. ‘He’s really cool. Even though he’s not that good at football. How about after school on Friday?’

Kate freezes. She’d been hoping that their friendship would fizzle out before having a chance to fully form. ‘But it’s your weekend with me. You’ve been with your dad the last two so it would be nice if we did something together.’

‘I know, but maybe you could come too? You like Dex’s mum, don’t you? Please, Mum?’

Kate won’t leave her son in Harper’s care, and nor does she want to spend any time there. ‘Um, I’ll have to think about it. I was planning some things for us to do. I know I’ve been a bit distracted with work lately.’

‘Please, Mum? It would still be us doing something together.’

‘I suppose I can ask his mum,’ Kate says, praying that they already have plans on Friday.

Thomas’s face brightens. ‘Actually, Dex said it was his mum’s idea and they’re not doing anything on Friday.’

Heat rushes to Kate’s cheeks, burning her skin. ‘You’ve seen a lot of him this week,’ she says. ‘Maybe Dex needs to make some other friends too? Otherwise how will he get to know any other kids?’ Thomas has no shortage of friends; it’s one thing she and Ellis never had to worry about.

Thomas shrugs. ‘Yeah, but I like Dex. I feel bad for him. He lost his dad and he’s new to the school – he must feel a bit lonely.’

‘You’re a kind boy,’ Kate says, smiling, despite the stabbing pains in her stomach.

‘But you will ask his mum, wont’ you? You won’t forget? Dex said she’s getting him a pet gecko. How cool is that? They’re getting him on Thursday after school. So if we go on Friday we can see it. That’s why she said I should go over – so I can see it. They’re calling him Dumbledore – you know, from Harry Potter.’

More lies. Harper made it clear that she doesn’t like pets, so why would she get Dex a gecko? ‘Are you sure they’re getting a pet? You have to feed geckos live insects.’

Thomas squints at her; he knows there’s more to Kate’s questioning – he’s always been able to read her. Because she hasn’t yet found a way to tell him about Graham White, Kate has vowed that she will never lie to Thomas about anything – big or small. Yet now she’s having to keep things from him. To protect him, she reminds herself. One day she will tell him the truth, but she has to know that he’ll be ready to hear it first.

‘Don’t you like Dex?’ Thomas asks.

‘I don’t really know him,’ Kate says. ‘But he seems nice.’

‘His mum’s a bit weird, though, isn’t she?’

‘What makes you say that?’

He shrugs. ‘Dunno. She’s always just…staring at me. And then when I look at her, she turns away and pretends she hasn’t been looking. But I still want to go to their house. It’s not Dex who’s weird.’

‘It’s late,’ she says. ‘Let’s get some sleep and talk about this tomorrow.’

Downstairs in the hallway, Kate tidies away the shoes, coats and bags. She checks Thomas’s school bag, where she always finds notes he’s forgotten to tell her about. A white A5 envelope falls out of his reading book, bearing a printed label with Thomas’s name and class on it.

Kate rips it open and pulls out the folded sheet of paper, freezing when she sees the photo printed on it.

Smiling back at her, his blue eyes gleaming in the light of the camera lens, is Jamie Archer.