Page 22

TWENTY-ONE

SATURDAY 1 FEbrUARY

Rain splatters around them, making Harper wish she hadn’t worn jeans today. They’re already sticking to her legs, the denim feeling like cardboard against her skin. And beside her, Dexter is miserable.

‘Why are we here, Mum?’ he asks again, as if he expects the answer to be different each time. It’s a reasonable question, but one she can’t truthfully answer.

‘I just need to check with Thomas’s dad if there could be a space for you. I’m not giving up, Dexter,’ she’d says. ‘Plus, we get to support Thomas, don’t we?’

‘But it’s so boring,’ Dexter moans. ‘And why do they have to play in the rain? I don’t even like football. I mean, it’s okay, but I’m no good at it.’

‘That’s why we need you in this club,’ Harper says. ‘So you can get better.’

‘Dad loved football,’ Dexter says, so quietly it’s as if he’s speaking to himself. ‘He’d want me to play, wouldn’t he?’

‘I think so,’ Harper says, even though the truth is Jamie never pushed Dexter to do anything he didn’t love.

And now, standing at the side of the football pitch, with drizzle threatening to turn into hard rain, Harper wonders if this was a mistake. There are other ways to get to Kate, that’s becoming very clear.

Ellis walks over to her, his lips pursed and frown lines on his forehead. ‘Hi,’ he says. ‘I’m sorry, but I did say there isn’t a place for Dex. Once the kids start here they rarely leave unless parents move away. And it seems like every kid wants to play.’

‘I know,’ Harper says. ‘We’re just here to watch, aren’t we, Dexter?’

Her son nods and looks away, once again focusing on the game.

‘Sorry,’ Ellis says. ‘I’m just…it’s not been a good week.’

‘Tell me about it,’ Harper says. ‘Do you ever wish you could erase certain moments from your mind? That would certainly help.’

He smiles. ‘Yep. If only.’

They both turn to watch the game. ‘I’m sorry there isn’t a space for Dex,’ Ellis says. ‘He’s clearly passionate if he’s willing to come down here just to watch. I can let you know if a space comes up.’

Harper nods and smiles. ‘Thank you. Anyway, no rush. Dexter wants to support Thomas. The two of them have become really close.’

A strange expression crosses Ellis’s face; this might be harder than she’d hoped.

‘I really like Thomas,’ Dexter says, turning to Ellis.

‘Me too, buddy,’ Ellis says.

Harper smiles. ‘He’s a special kid,’ she says. ‘I can tell that already. I’m so glad they’re friends.’

‘Mum,’ Dexter says. ‘Can me and Thomas play in the playground after this?’

Harper glances at Ellis. Perhaps this will work out after all. ‘Yes, of course. If Thomas isn’t busy.’

‘Um, I guess it would be okay if the rain doesn’t get worse,’ Ellis says. ‘For a little bit. Um, it’s not my weekend with him so I need to get him back to his mum.’

‘Oh, yes. Of course. Kate. Shall I message her and let her know? So that she’s not worried?’ Harper pulls out her phone.

Doubt creeps onto Ellis’s face. ‘Okay… maybe just for a short while,’ he says. ‘I need to get back to the game.’

‘See you after,’ Harper says, watching him head to the other side of the field. She types a message to Kate.

Hi Kate, just at football with Dexter. Bumped into Ellis. The boys would like to go to the playground for a bit after so Thomas will be home a bit later. Take care x

She rereads the message. It’s warm and friendly, nothing that would raise any concern if Kate were to show it to anyone.

And then Harper deletes it and places the phone back in her pocket.

Harper is fully aware that Ellis must feel awkward being in the playground with her. The boys have disappeared to the basketball court on the other side, joining in a game with some older boys, and the only other people in here are a toddler with his grandparents.

For a few moments they sit in silence, watching the boys. ‘Dex is good at basketball,’ Ellis says.

‘Football too,’ Harper says, smiling

‘You seemed annoyed about it before,’ he says. ‘On the phone that time. When I said there’s no space for Dexter.’

‘I was. But…it’s just been difficult and…I suppose I took it personally. I just want Dexter to fit in. He’s been through so much.’

Ellis nods. ‘You both have. I get it.’

‘What about you?’ Harper asks. She doesn’t want talk of Jamie to infect this conversation. She needs to choose her words with precision, and be on guard for any surprises. ‘You said earlier you’d had a bad week?’

He looks away. ‘Yeah.’

Clearly he’s not keen to open up to her. Harper takes a gamble. ‘Forgive me for saying this, but Kate mentioned that you’d split up with your partner. I’m so sorry.’

His eyes widen. ‘Kate told you? Why?—’

‘Oh, sorry. Yeah.’

He stands and folds his arms, his cheeks flushing. ‘Why would she talk about my personal business? It’s nothing to do with her, or anyone else.’

Harper holds up her hand. ‘You’re right. I’m sorry. Please forget I said anything.’

‘I think we both know that’s not possible.’

‘We don’t have to talk about it. Look, I can tell Dexter we have to go.’ Although she’s not superstitious, Harper puts her hand in her pocket and crosses her fingers.

Ellis glances at the boys then shakes his head. ‘No, let them play. Thomas told me all about Kate cutting short their playdate yesterday.’ He shakes his head. ‘To be honest, Kate’s been acting strangely lately. I know you haven’t known her long so you won’t have noticed but, she’s been saying some?—’

‘Actually, I have noticed.’

He stares at her. ‘What d’you mean?’

Harper tells him Kate knew all about the playdate, then claimed she’d forgotten it was arranged. ‘And I found a photo of my husband in her house. I don’t know what she was doing with it. It was just a print out of a photo that was online. But…what do you make of that?’

Creases appear on Ellis’s forehead. ‘Very strange. I know something’s going on with her. And if it’s having any impact on my son then I need to find out what it is.’

In the evening, she sits with Dexter in the living room while he plays on his Xbox. Jamie’s Xbox. The one Dexter seems to have somehow inherited without her having agreed to anything. Yet it’s numbing his pain, so Harper’s reluctant to take it from him. ‘Ten more minutes,’ she warns, knowing those minutes will grow into twenty, then thirty.

Dexter glances at her. ‘Okay.’

In the end Harper cuts his time off after seven minutes; she wants to talk to him about Jamie, ask him about things she’s been wondering about. It’s probably still too soon for him to want to talk about his dad, but Harper needs to try.

‘Can I watch TV now, then?’ Dexter asks.

‘No. Enough screen time. Can we just talk for a minute?’

He shrugs.

‘It’s about your dad.’

Dexter’s body stiffens.

Harper moves across to him on the sofa and takes his hand. ‘I know it’s difficult to talk about and I’m so sorry to ask you this, but do you remember much about the last day we saw him?’

It floods her with guilt to see the way her son stares at her, and the pain he must be feeling to conjure memories of Jamie.

‘I dunno,’ Dexter says. ‘I remember him being in the kitchen with you. And you were fighting.’

The breath is sucked from Harper’s lungs. Dexter’s never mentioned this; she’d thought he hadn’t heard them. He was on the top floor of the house, playing in the spare room – even with their voices raised, their son shouldn’t have been able to hear them.

‘Do you know what we were fighting about?’ Harper ventures.

He shrugs. ‘Not really. I couldn’t hear. Just shouts. Angry voices.’

Harper lets out a sharp breath. ‘I’m sorry your dad and I were fighting. I feel bad about that every single day. Our last words to each other were angry, and that makes me really sad.’

‘What were you arguing about?’ Dexter says, glancing at the TV remote control, his fingers twitching.

‘We were trying to sort things out,’ Harper explains. ‘We’d been having a few problems. Sometimes it’s hard for adults and we disagree about things. But it was all being sorted out – I promise you.’

The doorbell rings and they turn to each other. It’s past eight p.m. and Harper isn’t expecting anyone. ‘Stay here,’ she says. ‘You can watch TV.’

When she opens the door and sees Ellis standing there, her confusion quickly turns to concern. This won’t be a friendly visit – there’s no reason for him to be here. Is this because of Maddy? Her insistence that she recognised Harper from somewhere is a loose thread that might unravel at any moment. And Harper needs control of this. ‘Hi,’ she says. ‘Is everything okay?’

‘Sorry to just turn up like this. But I thought you might want to know that a space for Dexter has just come up in the team. A kid has dropped out. Parents said they were struggling with the time commitment.’

Harper frowns. ‘That’s a coincidence. We were only talking about it this morning.’

‘I know. Bit of luck really.’

Harper’s not sure she trusts him, but she’ll give Ellis the benefit of the doubt for now. ‘Do you want to come in? Dexter’s just watching TV but we can go through everything in the kitchen.’

Ellis glances back at his car. ‘If you’re sure? I really don’t want to intrude.’

‘No, come in. To be honest, I’m glad of the company. Dexter and I were just talking about Jamie and it’s all a bit much. I could do with a distraction. I was just about to open a bottle of red – like to join me?’

Ellis hesitates. ‘I would, but not when I’m driving.’

‘Sensible. But you don’t mind if I have one, do you?’

‘Not at all.’

In the kitchen, while Harper opens the bottle, Ellis takes in his surroundings. ‘Nice place,’ he says. ‘Reminds me how much my place needs doing up.’

‘No, it’s not.’ Harper says. ‘It needs gutting. My husband Jamie and I never got around to it before he died. And now I just can’t imagine ever feeling like I want to sort this house out. I’m sure you heard all about Jamie dying?’

‘Yeah. Sorry. It’s only been a short while, though, hasn’t it? You need time.’

‘Yeah, I know you’re right,’ Harper says. ‘But knowing something doesn’t make it easy.’ She pauses. ‘Don’t you want to sit down?’ Ellis’s hovering is making her uncomfortable.

‘I’ve been driving a lot today. Feel better standing.’

‘Okay.’ Harper frowns, and leans on the worktop. ‘So, how is Kate?’

‘She’s…acting strangely. I feel like I don’t know her any more.’

‘That’s worrying. She’s the mother of your child. What exactly is going on with her?’

Ellis reaches into his pockets, his eyes darting around the room.

‘Are you okay?’ Harper asks. ‘I know you’ve had a rough week, and I’m the last person you’ll want to talk to about Kate. I mean, we’re friends so it must feel strange. Shall we go through this football stuff?’

There’s a long pause before Ellis speaks again. His mouth twists as if he’s debating the words he wants to say.

‘What is it?’ Harper asks.

More silence. ‘There… is no space in the team.’

Harper frowns. ‘I don’t get it. Then why are you here?’

Slowly, Ellis pulls out a small package from his pocket, then with a deep sigh, he tips it upside down to drop the contents on the table.

Harper stares at the tiny white objects. ‘What are those?’

‘They’re cameras. And they’re the real reason I’m here.’