Page 37

THIRTY-SIX

2003

For a second, Kate thinks Mona is messing around. Not a good thing to joke about, but still, Mona is the sort of person who has no filter. She says what she thinks and nothing is off limits. But Kate sees through her vulnerability, and it’s part of why she feels connected to Mona. She sees the pain in her friend that no one else knows is there. ‘What…what do you mean?’

‘I met him in the park about a week ago. He was playing football with his friends and then they all left. He…he came over to me and started trying to talk to me. You know…all flirty. I told him he was old enough to be my dad and he just…he just laughed. Then the next thing I knew, he grabbed me and dragged me into the wooded part, behind the bushes.’ A stream of tears flows down Mona’s cheeks. ‘I screamed but there was no one around.’

Horrified, Kate grabs her friend and hugs her tightly. Mona’s been acting differently – withdrawn and distant – and this explains why. For a while they sit silently in the changing rooms until Mona’s ready to speak again. ‘When he’d finished, he just got up and walked off, as if nothing had happened. He even smiled, and said he’d see me around. As if…as if I’d wanted him to do that to me! He knew how old I am. He’s a…I can’t even say it.’

‘We need to go to the police,’ Kate says. She’s got to be strong for her friend, help her through this. ‘I’ll come with you.’

‘No! Then I’d have to tell Mum and you know what she’s like. She’d focus on how I was out at night when I shouldn’t have been. And everyone at school thinks I’m a slut already – they’ll say I wanted him to do it.’ She stares at Kate with large, frightened eyes. ‘But I swear I didn’t! He’s in his thirties!’ Mona wails again, her chest heaving with her heavy sobbing.

Kate holds her tighter. ‘He can’t get away with this, Mona! You can’t let him.’

Mona’s crying subsides. ‘I know. That’s all I can think about. I don’t want him to get away with it. But there’s another way.’

‘What do you mean?’ Kate asks.

‘We can make him pay without me going to the police.’

‘How?’

Mona takes a deep breath. ‘Okay, I know this will sound crazy…but I need to take things into my own hands.’

Kate’s used to Mona’s scheming and plotting, and it rarely turns out well. Her friend is impulsive at the best of times, but this is starting to feel frightening ‘That doesn’t sound like a good idea. And what exactly do you mean?’

‘He’s a paedophile, Kate. And I need to put a stop to him before he does it to someone else. What he did to me has changed me for the rest of my life. I can’t let him get away with that.’

‘That’s why we need to go to the police. It’s the only thing to do, Mona.’

‘They won’t be able to do anything.’ Mona is strangely calm now; she’s already made up her mind. ‘It’s his word against mine, and any DNA he left behind on me will be long gone. It was weeks ago and I’ve had a million showers since then. And washed everything I was wearing – I couldn’t stand the thought of him all over my clothes.’

‘You should have told me!’ Kate protests. ‘I would have helped you. That’s what friends are for. I thought you trusted me, Mona!’

Mona reaches for Kate’s hand. ‘Course I do. Best friends forever, right? Nothing can come between us. And that’s exactly why I’m telling you all this now. It’s just between us, nobody else can know what he did to me. Ever.’

Kate leans back against the changing room wall. ‘So what’s your plan exactly?’

‘We’re going to terrorise him. Let him know that he can’t get away with abusing girls. Ruin his life. I know where he lives. He has a girlfriend too. I’m sure she’d be sickened to know what he did.’

‘What if he calls the police?’

‘He won’t know it’s me doing anything. And even if he does, he doesn’t know where I live. I was just an anonymous girl in a park – an easy target.’

Kate exhales. She doesn’t like the sound of this, but she needs to support her friend. That’s all that matters.

For weeks the girls torment Graham White. They post used tampons through his door, and dog excrement they find in the park. They follow him around, pulling their hoods over their faces so he can’t see them. They sit on the low wall opposite his house, sprinting off when he opens the door to question them about what they’re doing.

And after her initial reservations, Kate throws herself into their mission, for the sake of her friend. It brings her to tears when she pictures what that man did to Mona. They are vigilantes seeking justice for the sake of all young girls; this is what Kate tells herself.

Then one day, Mona ups the ante. ‘We’re going to break into his house,’ she whispers, as they’re making their way to double science. ‘Tonight. Do you think you can sneak out?’

‘Mum will never let me out late on a school night.’

‘Please, Kate,’ Mona begs. I can’t sleep at night when I think about what he did to me. How…he violated me.’ Her eyes brim with tears.

‘Okay, I’ll do it,’ Kate says, silently praying that Mona will have second thoughts.

The second they’re in Graham White’s house, Kate’s hands begin to shake. Shards of glass from the window they’ve smashed shimmer on the floor; they’ve crossed a line there’s no way back from. What if he comes home and catches them? There’s no telling what he’d do to them. ‘I don’t think this is a good idea,’ Kate whispers.

‘We’re here now,’ Mona says, staring around the place, sucking up every detail of it. Kate finds it odd that she’s doing this – she should feel sickened to be in the home of the man who attacked her. Still clutching the hammer she used to smash the back door window, Mona makes her way through the kitchen to a small living room.

And then without warning, she swings the hammer, smashing it into the television, spraying a waterfall of glass across the room.

Momentarily Kate is stunned; she’d half expected Mona to change her mind and rethink this terrifying plan. But when it becomes clear that Mona is only just getting started, and when she pictures how terrified Mona must have felt when that man was tugging at her clothes, Kate joins in, swiping ornaments from the mantelpiece, upending the coffee table, throwing sofa cushions to the floor.

‘We don’t take anything, though,’ Mona warns. ‘I want him to know for sure that this wasn’t a burglary.’

After the break-in, Kate holds her breath every time her mum answers the phone. Her fingerprints will be all over Graham White’s house, and he surely must have called the police.

The only respite from this worry is that at least now Mona can begin to heal, to feel that even the smallest sense of justice has been served. Nothing other than a prison sentence will be enough, but the satisfaction she saw on Mona’s face that night is enough for Kate to believe that this is the end of it.

But Kate is wrong. Only days later, Mona is back to the shell of the person she was, once again becoming snappy and withdrawn.

‘It’s not enough,’ Mona says, when they’re walking home from school. ‘I thought it might be, but it isn’t. I still feel…hollow and empty. That man…he can replace the items in his home. Redecorate. Go back to his life. But I can’t.’

Kate stops walking and faces Mona. ‘What are you saying?’

‘I’m going to send a letter to his girlfriend. And ruin his business. Did I tell you he’s a mechanic and has his own garage?’

Kate wonders how Mona knows this but decides it’s best not to ask.

‘I’ll tell all his clients he likes little girls,’ Mona says.

‘Please let that be the end of it. Promise me? If you’re not going to the police, I mean.’

‘Yeah, yeah,’ Mona says, but she’s only half listening. ‘He’ll be playing football this evening,’ she says. ‘And I’m going to be sitting right there on the bench where he first approached me. Let’s see what he thinks of that.’

‘No! You can’t. He’ll?—’

‘But this time I’ll be ready for him,’ Mona says, smiling. ‘And I’ll be fine because you’re coming with me.’

‘And what do you think I can do to defend you?’ Kate says, holding up a scrawny arm. ‘He’s a fully grown man.’

‘It’s not going to come to that,’ Mona says. ‘I won’t let it. I just want to freak him out and let him think I’m about to expose him to all his football buddies. You’ll see. Everything will work out.’

There’s no sign of him when they get to the park. The football game has started, and Kate crosses her fingers by her side, hoping Graham White won’t show up.

None of the other men pay them any attention, and once the match has ended and they’ve dispersed, Kate turns to Mona. ‘Let’s go. I don’t want my mum to realise I’m not in my room.’

‘I wonder where he is,’ Mona says.

‘You’ve got to stop this. It’s not healthy. If you don’t want to go to the police, you have to let it go.’

Mona doesn’t say anything for a moment, but stares straight ahead. ‘Okay,’ she says. ‘I won’t do anything. I’ll let it go.’

Kate smiles, and takes Mona’s arm. ‘Come on, I’ll walk you home.’

‘Men are shits, aren’t they?’ Mona says. ‘Look at my dad. Walking out on my mum when she was pregnant with me. All those affairs he had.’

‘We can’t think like that,’ Kate says. ‘They’re not all like that. We just have to learn to spot the ones who are .’

Kate sees Mona to her house, then continues on to her own road, walking faster now she’s on her own. The roads are eerily quiet tonight, and it spooks her, forcing her to turn around every few seconds to check she’s not being followed.

There’s never anyone behind her, but Kate can’t shake the feeling she’s being watched.

By the last day of term, Mona seems to have perked up, and glimpses of the girl she was shine through. She hasn’t mentioned Graham White for days now, but somehow that worries Kate even more. When Mona goes silent, it means there are too many scrambled things going on in her head.

Somehow Mona convinces Kate to go to the canal after school – it’s a half-day and the long summer holiday stretches before them.

Robbie is all over Mona, but Kate bites her tongue, refrains from lecturing Mona that she’s not being fair to him if she doesn’t like him. After what Mona’s been through, perhaps this is what she needs to help her heal.

Kate sits on the grass with Kian. She likes him, and it seems like he’s flirting with her, but she doesn’t know for sure until he kisses her. As much as she likes it, she’s finding it hard to focus on what’s happening between them when her bladder is about to burst. She should have gone at school – the nearest toilets are on the high street and that’s a fifteen-minute walk from here. She tells Kian she’ll be right back, and heads off.

Everything changes when she gets back and finds Mona with Kian in the woods. All the years of friendship dismantled with one senseless act.

She turns and runs away from them, ignoring Kian’s shouts.

And when she reaches the canal, a hand spins her around. Mona. Pleading with her to listen. But her words are muffled and Kate can barely take in any of it.

‘I…I’m so messed up. I know that. It’s because of what Graham did to me. I…I’m not myself, Kate. Please, you have to forgive me.’

Kate shakes her head and continues walking. But somehow Mona has penetrated the surface of her anger, found a way to release it like air from a balloon. Still, Kate carries on walking, ignoring Mona, who is right beside her, pleading with her to stop.

They reach Kate’s house, and Mona grabs her arm. ‘Listen to me! I’m not in my right mind, Kate. I’m sorry. I’ll say it a thousand times – please, Kate. I’m not?—’

‘Not what?’ Kate spins around. ‘Someone who’s already been with half the boys in our year?’ Kate’s words are like knives hurtling towards her friend.

Mona’s jaw drops, and slowly tears meander down her cheeks. ‘I know that’s what everyone else thinks of me…but I never thought you felt the same. I thought you understood me.’ She swipes at her eyes. ‘Graham White has messed me up. I…I can’t even think straight. First my dad abandons us and now this…’

Slowly, Kate’s anger dissipates. She’s been there through the worst of it with Mona; she can’t abandon her friend now, even after what Mona’s just done. It was a cry for help. And it’s all Graham White’s fault. Mona needs help and support, not for Kate to turn away from her and reject her like almost everyone else in her life has done.

Before Kate has a chance to express this to her friend, an arm grabs her around her chest, and a clammy hand smothers her mouth. She’s dragged backwards and all she can hear is Mona screaming before a heavy fist smashes into her face.

When Kate opens her eyes, she’s in the back of what seems to be a van. Her arms and legs are tied, and beside her Mona is groaning, curled up like a foetus.

‘Are you okay? What’s happening?’ Kate pulls herself up, coughing from the dust that floats up as she moves.

‘My stomach,’ Mona says. He kicked me and I think it’s done some damage.’

‘Try not to panic,’ Kate says, shuffling over and putting her arm around Mona. We’re together. We’ll get out of this.’

‘Who was he?’ Kate says. ‘Did you get a good look at him?’

Mona frowns. ‘Didn’t you notice?’

‘What?’

‘It was him ! Graham White. He’s the one who’s done this to us and now I don’t know what he’s going to do.’

Panic swells in Kate’s body. ‘I told you we should never have broken into his house. He’s going to kill us! He wants to keep you silent in case you tell the police what he did to you. And now I’m involved too. He knows you’ve told me!’

‘We need to just stay calm. And think of a plan.’ Mona pauses. ‘There are two of us and only one of him. As soon as he opens the door, I’ll kick him really hard between his legs and you run. I’m a bit faster than you so I’ll be able to catch you up.’

‘But we don’t even know where he’s taking us. Where are we supposed to run to?’

‘I don’t have all the answers, Kate. But I got us into this mess, so I’m going to get us out of it. Just…whatever happens, as soon as that door opens and I’ve done some damage – run!’

For what feels like hours, the van continues on, and soon Kate can tell they’re off the main roads and heading down a dirt track. She throws up, her vomit pooling across the floor of the van. Beside her, Mona squeezes her hand.

Eventually, the van comes to a stop and the girls turn to each other. ‘Get ready,’ Mona says. ‘This is it. We only get one chance to get this right.’

Kate crawls over to the door, her heart thumping in her chest. And when the door creaks open, like a wild animal Mona lunges towards Graham White, thrusting her knee right between his legs. He doubles over and Kate jumps out of the van, running into the darkness.

She waits to hear Mona’s footsteps behind her, but there is only silence. He must have hurt Mona, otherwise she’d be right behind Kate.

Stopping to turn around, Kate squints into the darkness. Nothing but silence. And then she turns around and runs back the way she’s just come, stopping short when she sees Mona up ahead, staring at something.

Graham White’s lifeless body.