Page 24

TWENTY-THREE

2015

Jamie looks pitiful, standing across from her, too agitated to sit down. Two weeks after she’d seen him in the restaurant with the older woman, Jamie had turned up at her place, begging for her forgiveness. Harper had momentarily given in and let him stay the night. A big mistake. In the harsh morning light, she’d come to her senses and told him to leave. That was five months ago, and now, Jamie stares at the large mound of her belly, unable to avert his eyes.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ he asks.

Harper’s never seen him so shocked, and she’s enjoying this novel experience. ‘Because I can’t trust you. Look what happened last time – I didn’t want you to know about this baby. I want to keep him or her safe.’

Jamie’s face is distraught as he stands staring at her, his hands in his pockets, his shoulders hunched. ‘I’m sorry, Harper. But you can’t blame me for what happened to Molly. It would have happened even if I’d been there. That’s what the doctors said. She just wasn’t meant to be.’

Harper itches to punch his face. ‘I felt her move. The evening you didn’t come home. She was fine. And then I couldn’t find you… and I was so worried and got so stressed. And then she died. It’s your fault. You lied to me about being with Sam. You’re not even friends any more.’

Jamie lowers his head and stares at the soft mink-coloured carpet they’d just had fitted before she lost their baby. ‘I’m so sorry, Harp. I would never do that to you again.’ He still doesn’t look at her. Things got a bit…out of control. My whole life has got out of control.’

Harper knows this. It’s clear for everyone to see. ‘Who was that woman you were with in the restaurant? The last time I saw you.’

‘I already told you when I stayed over that night. She was a friend. Who was that man you were with?’

‘Stop!’ she screams. ‘I told you that’s none of your business. And you’re lying. Who was she?’ Harper rubs her stomach, relishing the sense of life growing in her body, the limitless possibilities for her unborn child.

‘Okay! Just calm down. I don’t want you getting worked up.’ Jamie sits on the arm of the sofa, knowing full well she hates it when he does that. ‘I’ve made mistakes, Harper. But it’s not what you think,’ he begins. ‘With that woman. She’s just helping me out with something. I wasn’t seeing her.’

Harper shakes her head. ‘It’s exactly what I think. You told me I’d messed everything up when I confronted you outside her house. What were you talking about?’

‘We had a nice flat, didn’t we?’ Jamie says, ignoring her. ‘A decent life.’

‘I don’t care about that. I’m happy here in this place.’

For a moment, Jamie stares at the ceiling. ‘Where do you think it came from? The money. And you got to keep all your salary. Did what you liked with it.’

Jamie doesn’t know, but what Harper was doing with it was saving it, spending as little as possible; perhaps she’d somehow sensed that sooner or later it would all be snatched away from her. Did she subconsciously realise that Jamie would let her down?

‘I don’t care about money.’ She rubs her stomach, relieved when she feels a small flutter.

Jamie notices her gesture and moves towards her. ‘Is the baby moving?’

‘Don’t come near me,’ she says.

He holds up his hands and takes a step back. In his pocket, his phone rings.

‘Aren’t you going to get that?’ she asks.

‘It’s not important.’

‘More lies.’

The phone keeps ringing, blaring into the silence until finally it stops and they’re left with their painful silence.

‘I’m not a good person,’ he says.

Harper takes a deep breath. She’s been waiting for so long to hear some honesty from Jamie. She has no idea what she’ll do once she hears the truth from him, but this is a start.

‘What have you done, Jamie? Who was that woman?’

He sinks to the floor, pulling his knees up to his chest. ‘I’ve been lying to you. To everyone. About who I am. The business has failed, and I…I’m in a lot of debt. I…I had to get a job. In that new high-end gym in Covent Garden. Remember I told you I did that personal trainer course before I went to uni? Well, I lied on my CV to get that job. Told them I’d been working as a PT for years. They snapped me up.’

Harper stares at him. Jamie started developing properties two years ago, and she’s never seen him worry about money. That’s how he’s earned his money. They’ve gone on holidays, eaten out whenever they’ve felt like it. Not many people their age are so fortunate. ‘What the hell, Jamie? But you’ve had money. Surely more than you’d get for working at a gym. We go out for dinner all the time.’

‘That’s what I’m trying to tell you. The business failed. I…I couldn’t make it work. And it’s left me crippled with debt. But I didn’t want to burden you with this. I wanted you to keep thinking things were okay. So I had to find a way to keep funding this life we have.’

‘What are you telling me, Jamie?’

‘That woman you saw me with in the restaurant. She was one of my clients at the gym. She’s wealthy. So much money she doesn’t know what to do with it. But women like that…they get lonely. Sick of their partners or husbands. When I train them, they start telling me stuff. All their problems. And of course I listen. I didn’t intend for any of it, but the opportunity was right there. I could see how much I make them feel like they’re the only woman in the world. I tell them whatever it is they want to hear.’

Harper can’t register his words – they don’t make sense. This can’t be Jamie talking. She’d prepared herself to hear about an affair, probably more than one, but she struggles to comprehend what exactly Jamie is telling her. She knows, though, that this is something worse. ‘Them?’ she asks, as what he’s telling her starts to register. ‘There are more?’

He nods. ‘You’d be surprised how willing women are to throw money my way. Invest in my fictional company for the promise of more money. They believe me when I tell them I want to start up my own personal training business. But they don’t really care about money, they don’t need it. It’s my company they want – to feel as if someone still wants them. I’m there for them. I give them my time, and emotional support. I show them I’m invested in them. They’re clearly not getting any of that from their husbands.’

Stunned, Harper shakes her head.

‘They believe me when I tell them I’m having difficulties with investors. And they want to help me out when someone’s threatening me or doesn’t pay me on time. It’s like…they just can’t see what I’m really doing. Or they do, but just don’t want to believe it, because it shatters the life they’re desperate for. And money means nothing to these women.’ He shakes his head. ‘I almost want them to confront me and demand their money back. I’ve tried to push them to, many times, but they never do. I’ve silently begged them to tell me I’m a fraud and that they’re calling the police. It would be a relief.’

The blank expression is back on Jamie’s face, making Harper want to smash her fist into it. There are two different people inside Jamie, like Jekyll and Hyde, and what he’s just told her is proof of that.

‘How many women?’ Harper asks, her whole body numb.

‘Only three.’

‘So you sleep with them?’ Harper asks, part of her not wanting to hear the answer yet the rest of her desperate to know, so that there can be no going back.

‘Most of the time I don’t have to. I make excuses not to. It’s not about sex, Harper,’ Jamie says, as if this should be obvious.

‘It’s about you conning them out of money.’

Jamie hangs his head.

And now she wants to know everything. ‘How long have you been doing it?’ she repeats, slowly this time. Anger sweeps over her and for a moment she forgets the little life growing inside her, until she feels those reassuring flutters again. Signs of life.

Jamie averts his eyes. ‘Around a year. Since the property company failed, I’ve done this for us, can’t you?—’

‘Don’t you dare!’

‘I can stop doing it,’ he assures her. ‘Leave the gym and start afresh. There’s a job being advertised at the FCA for an economist. That’s what I’m qualified to do, Harp. I’d have a good chance of getting it.’

She hates it when Jamie shortens her name. ‘I don’t believe you. And if you’ve had debt problems, you’ll never get a job with them.’

‘Then I’ll get something else. Please give me a chance.’ Jamie gestures to her stomach. ‘Let me be a father to our child. I’ll never lie to you, or keep you in the dark again. Cards on the table, always. I swear, Harp.’ His phone rings again, and he pulls it from his pocket and throws it across the floor.

‘Please,’ he begs.

Harper closes her eyes, and focuses on the jolts and kicks in her stomach. This baby is full of life, strong and healthy. So was Molly, until she wasn’t. Harper opens her eyes again and looks at Jamie. She’s loved him so deeply, but now all that’s left is simmering anger that she needs to use. For the baby’s sake more than anything.

She moves over to Jamie and sits beside him, taking his hand and placing it on her stomach. She senses the change in his body language as he begins to relax. He thinks he’s got her now.

And that’s exactly what she wants him to believe.