Page 97 of The Cruelest Chaos

As long as he comes back here.

I kissed Connor to get Maverick out of my head. Because I knew he’d leave me soon enough. I knew this movie version of my life would end too soon, and I needed somewhere to fall.

But now I just want him back.

Stupid, stupid girl.

“MAVERICK!” I scream as loud as I can, over and over again, but he doesn’t come back.

I close my eyes.

Let go.

I’m not here. This is not my life. This is a movie. A rom com. He’ll come back in with flowers and champagne and for fuck’s sake, since this is a movie, maybe he’ll even have a fucking ring. I’ll throw it out the window, of course, because I’m not marrying his crazy ass, but it’ll end in rough sex and cuddling.

He’ll forgive me for kissing Connor. Tell me all of his secrets. I’ll tell him mine. We’ll…be something real.

I scream again.

I scream until my voice is hoarse, but I keep my eyes closed.

And I don’t open them. Not for a long, long time.

Hours pass, according to the clock on the nightstand. The sun has sunk down beneath the sky, and it’s completely dark outside the wall of windows across from the bed. Then I hear music downstairs, muffled, but I can tell what it is:casual sabotage,and for some reason, it makes me laugh out loud.

And then I feel tears welling up behind my eyes.

I hate him.

I try to turn a little on my side. Try to find a position that I might sleep in, but I already know it’s going to be impossible. I can’t move like this.

But I see something out of the corner of my eye on the nightstand, in the dim glow of the alarm clock. It’s a blade.

There’s no way I can reach it. I can’t even turn over. I’m sure it wasn’t there any other morning, or I might have tried to use it before now and saved myself all of this trouble.

But would you?a voice in my head asks.

I don’t answer it.

I just close my eyes again, hearing movement downstairs, the music growing louder. I want to disappear. I don’t want to think about what he’s doing right now. Who else might be here. I don’t know why I want to kick him in the dick when I think of his mouth on someone else’s.

Is that what he’s doing? Is he trying to pay me back?

No. He wouldn’t.This is a game.

I kick against the bed, and it doesn’t make me feel better. I do it again and again, nearly lifting myself off the mattress, the chains clanking against the bedframe. No one will be able to hear me, and I could scream again, but I don’t want anyone else to see me like this.

I just want to fucking disappear into this bed.

I don’t knowhow much time has passed when I hear it. The door creaking open. I jump, startled, my chains rattling.

My mouth feels dry, and I know, impossibly, I fell asleep. I blink, trying to let my bleary eyes adjust. My arms hurt so bad, being held back like this for what feels like hours. It’s still dark outside, and just as I turn to glance at the alarm clock, I hear another noise.

A giggle. A girl’sgiggle.

I freeze, my eyes shooting to the double doors of his bedroom. They creak open the rest of the way, and I hear someone,him, say, “Shh, Chelsea,” and the girl—Chelsea— laughs again.

My ribs suddenly feel tight, my skin stretched uncomfortably against them. My face flushes as I seehim.I see him, his hands wrapped around a girl’s bare ass. I watch him in the dark as he kicks the door closed, slides the lock shut with one hand, adjusts his grip on her ass.