Page 106 of The Cruelest Chaos

Mark clears his throat, leans back to take me in. “You’re really drunk, Ella.”

I nod my head. There’s no point denying it.

He sighs, looking suddenly regretful. “Do you want me to take you home?”

“No.” It comes out faster than I mean it to, and I’m not even entirely sure I mean it. I should go home. I need to go home. But what’s at home? Maybe my mother. Maybe her lover. Maybe nothing.

Being with my mother has never felt like home.

Being with Maverick did since the first morning I woke up in his bed.

Mark arches a brow. “I can take you to my house,” he offers, blowing out a breath. “But I don’t know if—”

“It’s okay,” I assure him, despite my head screaming at me to stop. I reach out and clasp my hand over his, knowing I’m crossing a line and much too quickly, but I don’t care.

And when Mark’s brown eyes gleam at my touch and he threads his fingers through mine, I know he’ll be gentle. Kind. He won’t hurt me. Like Connor, he has some sort of respect for women. Forme.

For himself.

He smiles at me, and I keep my hand in his as he nods toward the bartender for the bill. I don’t bother offering to pay; I don’t have money.

I drop his hand as he pulls out his wallet, and let him know I’m headed to the bathroom. He frowns as he thumbs out his card.

“You sure you can make it in there?” he teases me, but there’s real concern, too. I glance around the bar. It’s not nearly as crowded as it was the other night the fight broke out, but there’s quite a few people. Mainly men.

Still, my head might be buzzing and my brain might be moving a little too slowly, but I can get to the bathroom by myself. I’ve been drunk before.

I nod, slide down off the barstool.

The bar spins and for some ungodly reason,929by Halsey is playing in here and I can make out the words among all the guys shooting the shit and shots in here at an ungodly hour.

Ungodly.

I snort to myself at the word. That’s what Maverick is. It’s what he’s always been.Ungodly.I would’ve given him anything he wanted. Any offering, any tithe. I would’ve given him my entire heart if he could’ve just given me something, too. Given me a piece of him buried beneath all that darkness. Given me something to hold onto.

I swallow hard, keeping the tears at bay. There’ll be time for that later, when I fall apart in my own bed. When I have to face my own life after a movie-like month of borrowing someone else’s.

I head down the long hall toward the restroom, and I’m glad it’s empty. I put my hand on the wall to steady myself, giggling as I almost trip over my own two feet.

Mark is nice. Tonight will be nice. He’s probably not kinky and the sex probably won’t begreat, but I won’t think ofhim, and that’s all that really matters.

It takes me a second to puzzle out which restroom I’m supposed to use and another second to get pissed I have to pick one because who fucking cares? But eventually I make out the girl in the triangle dress (because who doesn’t love a good triangle dress?) and I splay my hand against the wood to push it open.

But someone grabs my arm, whipping me around. My arms shoot out tohischest to catch myself as everything seems to spin around me.

I tilt my head up to meet his baby blue gaze and he has one hand pressed against my low back, the other clutching my hand.

My stomach sinks.

“No,” I say softly, shaking my head. “No, no, no. You’re not here.”

He doesn’t smile at me. “I am, pretty girl.”

“Go away,” I mumble, smacking half-heartedly against his chest. “I have a date.”

He cocks his head, frowning and making the tattoo on his face pull down a little with the motion. “I heard.”

I stiffen in his arms. “You know Mark?” I can’t help the hushed awe that eclipses my words.He really is god.