Page 79 of The Cruelest Chaos

Let go.

I’ve never been to a club in my life. I’ve only been to bars with my mother, watched her try to take home grimy men that always had wandering eyes, usually on me.

Let go.

I try to loosen my body.

I feel someone behind me and nearly jump out of my skin but then I hear Sid’s low voice in my ear. “It’s me.”

Her hands go to my hips, just above Natalie’s, and she moves my body for me. I try to relax, to let go, but I can’t get a good feel for this beat.

“Ella,” Sid whispers, momentarily startling me out of my panic. “Be careful with Maverick. He’s always got blood on his hands.”

I try to turn toward her but Natalie still has her hands on my hips, her head tilted back as she raps to the song. Sid’s fingers dig into my skin, keeping me in place.

“Get out while you still can.”

And before I can move, before I canthink,the song changes.

Airplanesby B.o.B. and Hayley Williams comes on. I want to talk to Sid. I want to ask her what the hell she’s talking about.While I still can?

But Natalie isn’t letting go, and apparently, neither is Sid. Maybe she’s drunk. Maybe she drank before she got here. Maybe she’s putting her and Lucifer’s problems on me and Maverick.

And god, I haven’t heard this song in years, but I love it. I used to listen to it in my room with the door locked when Mom had guys over and I could hear them against my wall, back in West Virginia.

Let go.

I push that memory aside, Sid’s words, too. I sway with her hands on my hips and Natalie’s breasts bumping against my own.

Let go.

I can talk to Sid later. Now is not the time.

I bring my fingers to my hair, loving the way the strands feel down my back. When Natalie’s fingers trail down to my thighs and she giggles, I keep moving, feeling less embarrassed and more…into it.

This moment.

The lights.

The bodies pressing around us.

The girls that could be my friends, even with Sid’s ominous warning. It’s easy to let that go with the tequila in my veins.

She doesn’t leave my back and Natalie has my front.

For one glorious moment, just a few minutes, everything feels…good.Like I’m actually nineteen. Like I’m just another teenager out for the night. My belly is full, my mind is buzzing, and I feel…happy.

But then the moment ends.

Natalie lets go of me, and Sid stiffens at my back, but she doesn’t let go.

My eyes fly open and a boy is standing in front of me. No.A man.He’s not one of Maverick’s friends, and I’ve never seen him before in my life.

His hands come to my hips, entwining with Sid’s fingers. He pulls me closer to his body, and my breasts press against his hard chest. He smells good, like clean clothes and something heady and masculine. He’s aggressive, his fingers digging into my skin and Sid’s fingers, too. And maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe it’s because I’m fucked up, but I feel…arousal with his body pressed against mine. This is a public dance floor, after all.

Isn’t this what people are supposed to do?

I don’t see Natalie over his shoulder, but Sid hasn’t moved, even though she seems tense behind me.