Page 49 of The Cruelest Chaos

She can keep her secrets.

I guess that’s for the best, because Ria is still in my soundproof basement and they don’t know about each other. Ella is my release; since the last time, on New Year’s Day, I haven’t had Father Tomas over. My lacerations are healing.

My mind, however…that’s another story.

When I get home, I drown myself in cannabis oil. Council went terrible last night, and my father is still alive. Lucifer still acts like he hates me.

I kind of hate him, too. We haven’t discussed his antics from New Year’s Eve. He hasn’t said a word about Pammie since then, either. Whatever. Fuck it.

Ez, Atlas and Cain asked me to head to the dragstrip. I didn’t go. It’s no fun anyway, when my car crushes theirs every time.

I don’t know if I trust them either and I don’t know why.

I’m becoming paranoid with Ria in my house. I don’t trust anyone.

And I definitely don’t trust Sid Malikov when I find her outside of my front door close to midnight.

“Where’s Luce?” I ask her by way of greeting, my eyes flicking beyond her as if I’ll see him sauntering up the porch steps. I know there are guards all around our homes; I know that if Sid thinks she snuck out without being noticed, she’s got another thing coming.

She’s got her arms wrapped around her frail body—and itisfrail, I realize as I scrutinize her under the lights from the foyer at my back—and she’s shivering. It’s cold outside, but she’s got on a tight hoodie, black pants and her usual combat boots. Her hair is kind of oily, tucked behind her ears, and her face is pale. More than pale, it’s just…colorless. Almost ashen. Whatever spark I’d found in her again after we killed Pammie, it’s gone.

“He’s asleep,” she says in a way that tells me not to ask any more questions about him.

“Why are you here, Sid?” I ask her, blowing out a breath. I still haven’t invited her in. I want to be alone.

Sid glances down at her feet. “I need to talk to you.”

My first instinct is to sayno shit, but I bite my tongue as her silver eyes meet mine. She’s got dark shadows beneath them, and her face looks…gaunt. Something is wrong with her.

Something is wrong with Sid.

My heart seems to freeze in my chest.What did Lucifer do?

I step back, relenting. “Okay.”

She walks past me, stepping further into the house, her footsteps echoing on the hardwood.

I close and lock the door and quickly turn around, following after her. There are places in my house she can’t go, and besides that, she’s kind of freaking me out.

“What’s going on?” I ask her casually as she barges into the kitchen, yanking open the fridge. She pulls out cranberry juice—I use it for my pre-workout supplement—and drinks straight from the bottle.

“Uh,” I say, leaning against the kitchen island as I watch her, “that’s probably not what you want.”

She glares at me over the top of the bottle as I grab the vape I’d been loading before she interrupted me. I inhale, then exhale a cloud of smoke, obscuring my view of her for a moment.

And when the smoke clears, I remember.

I haven’t seen her drink since her and Luce got married. She didn’t even drink then, at the little celebration we had afterward. She didn’t drink when I tossed back a shot before we left Liber to go to Pammie’s hideaway.

She screws the cap on the juice, tosses it back into the fridge. I catch sight of the scar on her palm as she shuts the fridge door and folds her arms, then leans back against the counter, eyes on me.

I take another pull on the vape, then set it down on the island. I clasp my hands together, trying to focus on her as I hop on the bar stool. On what she could possibly be here for.

“Um,” I say, when she doesn’t speak, “why didn’t your man notice you snuck out?”

Her eyes narrow into silver slits, and I feel a chill slide down my spine. I’m not scared of her. Not at all. But she’s here at midnight, and Lucifer isn’t. Something isn’t adding up here

“He’s asleep. I told you.”