Page 63 of The Cruelest Chaos

I hate how I want to do as he says. I hate that I want to throw myself into his lap, let him drown me in his kisses, his hands, right here in front of everyone.

I hate that he’s making me fall again, to that place I said I’d never go back to. And he’s not my mom’s boyfriend. He’s not someone she’ll hate me over, which means I’m free to do it. Do this.

Because he’s someone that’ll stand up to her. Someone that already has. Someone who could take me away from all the bullshit. And it makes me weak to want just that. To want to let him use me how he sees fit, as long as he doesn’t leave me.

But I remind myself that I’m using him, too.

I swallow down the lump in my throat and take a tentative step into the living room. The boy with blue eyes drains the rest of his glass and leans over, setting it on the coffee table. He doesn’t take his eyes off of me the entire time, and I can feel the weight of his gaze but I keep walking toward Maverick.

I get to the table and realize I’ll have to walk past the curly-haired boy to get to Maverick. The way the coffee table is pulled up close to them, I’ll end up brushing against his legs.

I swallow, glancing down at the floor.

“Don’t worry,” the blue-eyed boy says in his raspy voice, “I don’t bite.”

I doubt that.

But I edge by him anyway, dropping my hands by my sides as I angle my body and try not to let any part of me touch any part of him. He doesn’t make it easy for me, and my leg brushes against his shins, but I keep moving toward Maverick, whose hands are still on his thighs, his knees parted.

I stand in front of him, looking down at him as I bite my lip.

“Sit with me,” he commands.

No one else says a word. I dart a glance toward the boy who took the shot, and he’s staring at me just like the other boy is.

My entire body feels hot and despite the awkwardness of this entire situation, I feel my nipples harden under Maverick’s shirt.

Wanting to bury myself against his chest and disappear, I do as he asks, leaning down to sit in his lap.

But he shakes his head and I stop.

“Turn around.”

What?I meet his gaze, see if he’s serious. If I can plead my way out of this. But he arches a brow in a silent demand, and slowly, I turn, my ass in his face.

He pulls me down onto his lap, and I can feel his erection against my ass as he wraps one arm against my waist. He brushes my hair over one shoulder with the other hand and presses a kiss to my neck.

My eyes flutter closed, and I try not to think about his friends beside us.What is he doing?

The boy with the raspy voice laughs. “You gonna open her up in front of us? That’s not very nice, Mav. I’m married, remember?”

I stiffen.What?My eyes fly open and I try to squirm out of Maverick’s grip but he only tightens his hold on me. He threads his fingers through my hair and yanks my head back, against his shoulder.

“Then you should leave,” he says softly, his lips against my skin even though I know he’s not talking to me. He scrapes his teeth against my neck, and I close my eyes tight, pressing back against him despite myself. “You want them to watch, Ella?” he asks me, fingers tightening in my hair. “You want my friends to see how bad you let me treat you?”

I open my mouth to answer him but nothing comes out.

I don’t know.I still have my eyes closed, and I’m throbbing between my legs, dying for him to touch me there.

“Lift up your hips, Ella,” he commands me, burying his head back in my neck. I hesitate, and his grip tightens painfully in my hair, making my eyes water.

I do as he asks, awkwardly lifting up my hips by pressing my feet against his shins.

Someone’s hand comes to my waist, tugging on my leggings. I know it isn’t Maverick’s hand, because he’s still got one in my hair and one around my waist. I stiffen, wanting to squirm away again.

“Shh,” Maverick whispers against my ear, “that’s Ezra. Be a good girl, baby. He’s just going to pull them down. He won’t touch you. Not unless I tell him to.”

I’m holding my breath as I let Ezra pull down my leggings. From the direction he’s moving from, I know he’s not the married guy, which only makes me feel a little better when he pulls the thin material completely off of me and I’m sitting in Maverick’s lap in my panties.