Page 34 of The Cruelest Chaos

Until he broke, too, and told me all of his scary stories. Why he’s got an inverted cross on his face.

I know tattoos don’t all have stories, but that one…I want to know what it is. Maybe it’s just a way to put people off.

It drew me in.

That’s part of our movie. The foolish girl thinking she can cleanse the sins of the devil himself.But maybe she can.

* * *

Mom doesn’t come backby the time Tuesday rolls around. Usually, I take her car for the day so I can get to The Ark. It’s ten miles from here, and on a good day, I’d struggle to walk that without some serious pain.

On a day when I haven’t eaten in over twenty-four hours? Not happening.

I pull my phone out after taking a quick shower, wetting my hair but not washing it. I shoot a text to Connor. He’d handed me his phone the first day I was there, hadn’t said a word, just put it in my hands with the contacts open.

I’d never text him before. He might ignore me. He might not evenbeat The Ark today. I’ve been going for several weeks now, and he’s been there most Tuesdays, but not all of them. Either way, I don’t have any other choice and I’m starving. My head aches, there’s a gnawing sensation in the pit of my belly.

I squeeze my pale flesh after I send Connor a text with my address, begging for a ride. I don’t do small talk. Connor doesn’t talk at all; I think he’ll appreciate all the information at once.

Ten minutes pass.

I’m sitting on the threadbare carpet of the living room floor, glancing at the crumbs from crackers my mom probably left here days ago. I reach for one, no bigger than a speck, but it’s better than nothing.

My phone vibrates in my lap.

Be there in fifteen.

I snatch up the crumb anyway, let it stick to my skin. Plop that in my mouth. I close my eyes, relishing the taste.

It tastes like nothing.

I put my hands on my belly and squeeze, hoping to God fifteen minutes pass by faster than an entire day and night away from the devilish boy with blue eyes did. He’s not my first hook up, and I doubt he’ll be my last.

But sex like that…I wanna do it again.

Let it go.He’s not coming back here.

I try not to let that bother me; I don’t even know him. He’s out of my league, financially, emotionally,physically.

But when Connor picks me up, I can’t help but glance around the dirt driveway my trailer is on, think about Maverick maneuvering his stupid car over the potholes. Think about him pushing his stupid bowl of food over to me.

Think about his hands on my throat. All the stupid bruises he’s left on my body.

How can someone be both so brutal and so…kind?

Maybe I’m just fucked in the head to think anything he did was kind.

I toss Connor a smile and he smiles back, warmth in his gaze. That’s kindness. He’s the type of boy I should crawl into bed with. He wouldn’t even leave a single mark.

Tragic.

Chapter Seven

Tuesday morningand the sun is barely up, but for some reason,I am.I went to Ella’s Sunday night, after Council.

There still wasn’t a car.

I couldn’t bring myself to knock on the door, so I walked back to my own ridiculous car, parked outside of the trailer park.